


Between Love and Hate

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Romance, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-26
Updated: 2003-11-26
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:51:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 74,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: The sequel toI Know What You Wished For.





	Between Love and Hate

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Justin's eyes were focused on a spot on the wall across the room from him. He wore a half-smile and his gaze was unwavering. Debbie had called him twice from downstairs and had knocked on the door for a few minutes before entering. She'd walked in on some choice moments over the last few months Justin had been living with her and now they'd made a pact that she wouldn't enter without making lots of noise to announce her presence.   
"Justin. You awake?" Debbie's voice trailed off as she located him in the room. He was awake and sitting up in bed with his legs folded in front of him. Debbie followed his gaze to the spot on the wall before retracing her glance and finding Justin's face again. She called out his name. Nothing. He didn't blink or move. Debbie moved in to get a closer look, she'd planned to shake him out of it if needs be. "Sunshine?" Debbie would have been more concerned about this new catatonic aspect of Justin's personality if not for the fact that his smile seemed to be broadening. Debbie reached out and touched his shoulder. 

"Oh hey Deb." Justin spoke slowly. He never stopped smiling. 

"Oh hey Deb? I've been calling you forever and I've been standing here for the last five minutes. That must have been some daydream." Debbie gestured towards the spot on the wall that Justin had been staring at, "The wallpaper is loud but if you've seen one motorcycle man you've seen 'em all." 

Justin slowly moved his eyes back to the spot on the wall. For a second there he didn't have a clue what Debbie was talking about. His brain hadn't registered a single motorcycle man in all the time he'd been looking at the wall. "Not a daydream anymore Deb. A memory. A very real memory." Justin broke out into a grin with these words. 

"You gonna share this fabulous memory?" 

"Nah. I don't want to say it out loud yet. For now it's all mine. All mine." He was whispering now and of course he was still grinning. 

"Whatever you say." Debbie was still eyeing him carefully. She'd managed a pretty good guess at what the subject of this memory was but for now all that mattered was that Justin was smiling. "You're covering Ricky's shift this morning and you have your own this afternoon, remember? My clunker is fixed so if you want a ride, I'm leaving in an hour." Debbie ruffled a fist full of blonde hair before turning away from Justin and closing the door behind her. 

Debbie was still holding on to the knob as she leaned against the closed door. "Now comes the hard part kiddo." She spoke her quiet warning before moving off to get ready for work. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Brian was playing with the little green stress ball that he kept on his desk. He wasn't really playing with it so much as toying with it unconsciously, having forgotten that it was even in his hand. He'd been staring at the same paragraph of copy for the last twenty minutes, his eyes never fully comprehending any of the words. Brian turned his eyes from the type written page and focused on the blinds covering the row of windows beside his desk. The cleaners had closed the blinds over the weekend and Brian hadn't bothered to reopen them when he came in that morning. He could see the sunlight peaking through the individual blades and he watched the light shift as the blinds swayed with the air conditioning. Brian set the stress ball down on the desk and rolled it under his palm for a few minutes. He'd been alone with his thoughts ever since Justin left the loft the previous evening and now by eleven-thirty Monday morning he'd managed to replay the events of Saturday night and all of Sunday over and over again with increasing clarity. 

No regrets. He didn't think he had any regrets but he knew he didn't want to be analyzed and he didn't want anyone to know about this just yet. He'd asked Justin not to say anything but he had yet to figure out just what it was that they weren't supposed to be telling anyone. Their friends had known what was happening for longer than he had and Brian suspected that no one would be the slightest bit surprised at learning just what had been said and what had been done. That fact didn't matter right now. All Brian understood was that this wasn't something he wanted to make a topic of public discussion. Not yet. 

"Brian." Marty Ryder pushed through the door and jerked Brian out of his thoughts. 

"What's going on?" Brian dropped the ball beside a tray that held a bunch of brightly colored markers and focused his attention on his boss's face. 

"The partners and I want to take you to lunch. You free today?" Ryder had crossed the room and was now standing in front of Brian's desk. 

Brian scanned the large day planner Cynthia had put on his desk earlier that morning. He had a meeting later in the afternoon but other than that he'd planned to just work in his office for the day. "I'm free. What time does everyone want to meet?" 

"Now, if you're ready? I thought we'd try the Seventh Street Grille." 

"Sure." Brian straightened up the papers on his desk before standing and shrugging on his suit jacket. He'd figured this was coming and had been expecting this little flair of generosity from the company heads considering his large contribution to their coffers. Ryder held the door open for him as the two exited Brian's office bound for the elevators. 

The restaurant was packed with the early lunch crowd and it was loud. He'd been clapped on the back and congratulated over and over during the course of the cab ride to the restaurant and now he was sitting through yet another congratulatory speech by a partner who Brian knew for a fact hated his guts. The man had apparently forgiven him for being "that damned asshole that was determined to drag the company down". Cynthia had procured that little quote for Brian from the office gossip pool. Brian sipped his drink and nodded in all the appropriate places. He didn't derive any kind of satisfaction from getting the Forsythe account and he wasn't getting any satisfaction from all this hollow praise. About the only thing he'd found satisfying about the agency's reaction to his success was the six-figure bonus cheque he'd received last Thursday. 

The waiter came to take their orders and Brian noticed that the man's smile broadened exponentially when his eyes settled on Brian's face. Brian thought he looked kind of familiar. Of course he was familiar. Brian realized who he was after the man had moved away from the table. That waiter had given him a blowjob in the broom closet right in the middle of a campaign meeting some months before. 

"So Brian. Do you have any plans for your vacation? You've got a month coming up don't you?" One of the older men asked over the top of his glass. 

"Yeah I do. Actually I haven't really thought about it." Brian lied before taking another sip of his drink. 

"There's Brian for you." Ryder was praising him again. "All work and no time for play." The men laughed out loud at that little joke and Brian took note of the look in Marty Ryder's eyes when he made the statement. The man was playing the game of congratulating him because that was the thing to do. Brian could tell that money hadn't managed to wipe out much of the bad taste Ryder still had in his mouth where he was concerned. 

Lunch was served and eaten and the wine continued to flow. Another of the men chimed in. "Brian, I spoke with Clifford Forsythe this morning. He had nothing but praise for your performance in Los Angeles. He told me to tell you that he's looking forward to working with you personally as the campaign develops." 

Brian took another sip from his glass. He thought back to Forsythe's mention of how often it was that he was in Pittsburgh on business. 

"Cliff Forsythe is a very difficult man to impress Brian. It's a real testament to your skill that you've managed that with this client." Another of the men was complimenting him again. Brian rolled his tongue in his cheek before taking a deep swig from his glass. He could feel his lunch coming up to the back of his throat and he swallowed more wine. This luncheon was starting to get sickening and on so many levels. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Justin had been fighting the urge to call Brian all day. The lunch crowd at the diner had been heavy but it still made for an ineffective distraction. He'd been bussing tables, serving food and accepting his tips all the while hoping that the next jingle of the bell above the door would announce Brian's arrival. He'd left the loft last night only because he had a sense that Brian needed some time to soak in all that had happened. He wanted to give the man his time to brood but Justin knew he didn't want Brian brooding alone too long. 

"Justin snap out of it and pick up your order." Debbie called out to him from behind the counter. Justin moved quickly to retrieve the orders and made his apologies to the patrons who'd been kept waiting. 

"Hey Ma." Michael, Emmett and Ted took seats at the counter. "What's good today?" Michael finished his question with a quick kiss to his mother's cheek. Emmett also moved in for his kiss and Ted sat back throwing a disapproving smirk on the whole show. 

"Everything's good." Debbie announced loudly before leaning in to whisper to the trio, "Stay away from the fish and chips..." Debbie made a gagging face before finishing at her regular decibel, "...but everything else is great." 

"Hey you guys." Justin called out to them as he went back to the kitchen to get his next order. 

"When did Justin come back?" Emmett took a bite of the muffin he'd swiped from the cake tray on the counter. 

Debbie had been filling their water glasses and she glanced up to follow Justin to the back with her eyes. "Oh I'd say Sunshine's been back since sometime Saturday night." Debbie offered them her trademark grin before moving off to tend to another customer. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ted asked wryly. He was charting Justin's progress from table to table to drop off orders. 

"My guess is that Saturday's events weren't limited to Gus's party." Emmett was twirling a piece of muffin in the air as he spoke. He turned to give Justin a big smile as he walked by again. It was the kind of smile that screamed to Justin that Emmett had been talking about him. 

"What?" Justin moved up to the counter to stand next to Michael and Emmett. 

"Oh nothing baby. I was just wandering if maybe Saturday brought you as many presents as it brought Gus." Emmett wasn't even trying to be subtle. 

Justin could feel his face turning red and he remembered Brian's warning not to say anything. "I have no idea what you're talking about." Justin forced back his blush. 

"Hmm." Emmett offered quietly, he wasn't buying any of it. "Sounds like something Brian would say." 

Justin's eyes flitted between Michael and Ted as he refused to meet the stare that Emmett had planted firmly in his direction. "You guys ready to order or what?" 

Ted studied him for another few seconds before turning his eyes back to his menu. "You know I thought it would have been damned near next to impossible." Emmett looked in his direction and Ted continued, "Some part of his homeland must have frozen over because I never thought Brian Kinney would actually do it." Emmett stifled back a little laugh and turned to face a blushing Justin again. 

Ted obviously wasn't going to help him out so Justin sought out an unlikely refuge. Michael. Justin motioned to the menu and Michael glanced down on pickings he should have had memorized by now. "I'll have a burger and a side salad. No onions on the burger." 

Justin busied himself with taking the order and he kept his eyes down as the other two men finally got around to relaying their requests as well. 

"You guys don't have to rag on him about this." Michael chided his friends quietly as soon as Justin was out of earshot. "Brian probably doesn't want him talking about anything so just leave it alone." 

"What do you mean leave it alone? Don't you want to know what happened? We have more chance of getting Barbra to drop Mr. Brolin than we do of getting Brian to spill about any of this so Justin is our only chance." Emmett was practically spitting with his excitement. "You saw how he was blushing just now and you saw the way the two of them were looking at each other at the party. Something big happened, I can just feel it and as a proud officer of the Liberty Gossip Patrol, I say that the people have a right to know." Emmett finished his rant with a bemused smile. He was watching Justin again. 

"I say leave it alone or Brian will have a field day tearing into your ass." Michael tried his warning again. 

"Brian wishes he could have my ass." Emmett shot back through a mouthful of muffin. He and Brian had an honest relationship. Brian had been kind enough to tell him that he was one of the turn-offs Brian liked to use when he was trying to slow himself down in bed and Emmett had publicly shared his views that Brian was crawling with almost every venereal disease known to man. 

"Not likely, he's got that ass to tear into." Ted added his dry humor to the mix as he gestured in Justin's direction. 

"Enough already. Can we just eat lunch without speculating about Brian and Justin." Michael was getting frustrated. Both of the other men gave each other a little look that spoke volumes. They understood that Michael had good reason to not want any part of this potential revelation. 

Emmett scrunched up his lips and made a little signal that he planned to zip it for the rest of the lunch hour. Michael may not have been interested in this little topic of discussion but Emmett had no intention of dropping his inquest. He would come by later when Michael and Ted weren't around and have a little talk with Justin. They were close and Emmett was pretty sure that with the right inducement Justin might just give him a little exclusive on Saturday night's activities. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So are you honestly planning to never speak to your son again?" Jennifer glared across the table at her lunch companion. 

"Is he still with that bastard?" The man spat under his breath. 

"What does that have to do with anything Craig? Justin's not even trying anymore where you're concerned. He doesn't ask about you and he doesn't talk about you. Doesn't that bother you at all?" 

"He's made his choices Jen. He's gotta live with them." Craig Taylor fingered the napkin that lay beside his placemat. 

"What choices did you give him Craig? Stop being gay or else stop being your son? What the hell kind of choice is that?" Jennifer had raised her voice when she made this last statement and now she was furtively glancing around to see if anyone had heard her. 

"I didn't come here to talk to you about him. I came to talk about my daughter." 

"Oh excuse me. I thought we needed to talk about our children but I guess I forgot that you have no son." Jennifer was staring daggers into her soon to be ex-husband. 

"I won't accept this Jen. Do you even get how much trouble all this shit has caused for me? Do you even get how many people know what he is and what he does with that pervert?" 

"All you care about is the fact that it was on the news. You don't ask how he's doing physically. You don't ask how his therapy is going. You don't even ask if he has food to eat. All you care about is the fact that it was on the news and all your golf buddies know that your son is gay." This time Jennifer had said her statement loud enough for the people around them to overhear and she took note of all the sets of eyes staring back at her. 

"You see that?" Craig gestured toward the people who had been looking at them moments before. "You see how people look at us when they find out? He's chosen to live this disgusting lifestyle but I'm the one who's forced to deal with all this kind of shit on a daily basis." 

"When did you become a victim in any of this Craig?" Jennifer's voice was controlled rage. "Your son almost died because somebody hated him almost as much as his own father does. You are not the victim here." Jennifer sat back and threw the napkin she'd had in her lap on to the table. "I'm warning you Craig, you keep this up and you truly will have no son." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means that when you started all this, when you first started to turn your back on him, Justin was still reaching out to you. He still cherished the good memories of your relationship and he still thought things would get better between you two. It's not like that anymore. The memories are becoming enough for him and he's not reaching out anymore. You keep kicking him away like this and he won't be there if you look for him again." 

"Not like this. I will not accept him like this so don't you preach to me. You weren't on that phone and you didn't hear the disgusting things that came out of that asshole's mouth when he thought it was one of his playmates. This is the same man your son has taken up with. That your son is stupid enough to think he loves and stupid enough to think loves him back. I won't accept this Jen and I've told you before that I don't want Justin around Molly." 

"You have no right." 

"I have every right to protect my daughter from that kind of influence." 

"What kind of influence? Justin is Molly's brother and you want to keep them apart? Molly has watched her family crumble. First Justin leaves and then you leave and now you want to rip Justin out of her life completely?" Jennifer was well passed any kind of composure and had Justin seen her in that second he would have found no trace of her usual country club calm. 

"This isn't just about what you're letting Justin expose her to. It's also about the fact that you're giving that pervert access to my daughter." 

"What the hell are you talking about now?" 

"Molly told me that she went to see Justin at Brian's place. She told me all about how much great stuff Brian has at his place." The man recounted his daughter's report in a teasing singsong voice. 

Jennifer's thoughts flashed on their impromptu visit to the loft and she was again grateful that she'd managed to get Molly out of there without her daughter setting eyes on the startled Brian. If Molly had seen him Craig would surely have never let them live that down. 

"As long as Justin is with him that bastard has access to my daughter and I'm not going to stand by and let that happen. I don't want Justin or that child molester anywhere near her again." 

"Or else what Craig? I let Molly see her brother and what happens?" Jennifer spat angrily. 

"Don't push me on this Jen. Don't push me on this." 

"You listen to me and you listen carefully. You do not call the shots anymore. You don't control Justin and you don't control Molly's or my life. Justin is my son and Molly is my daughter and I won't sit by and watch you separate them. You keep pushing this and you'll see where it gets you." Jennifer pulled a few bills from her wallet to cover her lunch and left. She ignored the looks she got from the other patrons and she ignored the sound of her husband slamming his fists down on the table behind her. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So how was your lunch?" Cynthia leaned against the doorframe with an armful of files. 

"My ass has been thoroughly kissed, licked and spit-shined." Brian shot back as he shrugged off his jacket and sat down behind his desk. 

"Hmm. Somehow I'm guessing you don't mean that in a good way." She was smiling. 

Brian glanced up at her and offered her a smirk before reaching into his desk drawer. "Here, this is yours." Brian tossed the envelope towards the outer edge of his desk. 

"What's this?" Cynthia had moved into the office and was now eyeing the white envelope Brian had offered her. 

Brian turned his attention to scrolling through his e-mails. "Open it and you'll find out," he said dismissively. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Cynthia dropped the files she'd been carrying on his coffee table and retrieved the envelope. She reached across his desk to grab his letter opener and Brian shot her a look. "You have one of those at your own desk. Why don't you go open it out there?" 

"Because I want to make sure to have a good view of your face when this little practical joke plays itself out." Cynthia was referring to the numerous times Brian had offered her something only to have it turn out to be a dry cleaning coupon or some other meaningless token. She tore into the envelope and pulled out the small sheet of paper. A cheque. "Holy shit." 

"You're welcome." Brian was still scrolling through the messages and he pulled up a message Michael had sent him just after he left for lunch. 

"Ten fucking thousand dollars? What's this for?" Cynthia was in shock. 

"Your share of the bonus. Go buy yourself something decent to wear and do something with your hair." Brian offered from below his long lashes. He was well aware of the fact that half the stuff he managed to pull off on a daily basis was solely due to Cynthia anticipating and putting up with his bullshit. She watched his back on several fronts and she'd been invaluable to him while they were in Los Angeles. The agency didn't give bonuses to secretaries and Brian always paid his debts. "Don't say thanks, don't say anything at all. Just take it and go back to doing whatever it is you say you do here." 

"You know you're seriously screwing up the grand design by doing this. How can I talk about you badly behind your back when you go around doing shit like this?" 

"Oh I'm sure you'll find a way." Brian shooed her away with the wave of a hand and turned back to the message on his computer screen. 

Monday 12:03pm  
I'm headed to the diner to meet the guys. Come by if you have time. 

-Michael- 

Brian barely heard when Cynthia closed the door behind her. He reached for the phone and dialed the number for the diner. 

"Liberty Diner. Where the food is served hot and so are the waiters." A very queeny sounding man drawled across the line. 

"Catchy," Brian said derisively. "Can you tell me if Justin's working today?" 

"You better join the long line of admirers sweet-cheeks. It's his first day back in a while and he's already drawn a good sized crowd." 

Brian rolled his eyes and confirmed the part of the man's information that he could use. "So he's there." 

"Yeah. He's here in the flesh Hon and my is he fleshy." The man was eyeing Justin's ass as he walked by and Brian had a sixth sense that that was exactly what he'd been doing. 

"When's his shift done?" Brian asked flatly. 

"Eight. Shall I call him to the phone or do you have enough information to allow for proper stalking?" 

Brian dismissed this little rib and hung up the phone. Justin had been working the lunch crowd today and Brian was sure his friends had attempted a thorough interrogation during their visit. He'd made sure to stress privacy to Justin and he was pretty sure the guys, particularly Emmett, wouldn't get any information. Brian moved his hand away from the receiver and clicked the "Reply" key above Michael's message. His response was brief. He'd decided that the fastest way back to 'normal' with his best friend was to slip back into the old routine. 'The old routine is what got us into trouble in the first place,' this thought flashed through Brian's mind as he typed his message. 

Monday 2:38pm  
Missed your message and accepted a less enjoyable lunch offer. Meet you at Woody's around seven. Confirm. 

-Brian- 

 

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"Sweets for the sweet." Emmett proffered a little foil wrapped box of chocolates. 

"I work in a diner where sweet concoctions are the order of the day. Why are you bringing me candy?" Justin was suspicious of the little box and the motive behind the gift. 

"Can't somebody do something nice without sending up all sorts of red flags?" Emmett tried to feign offense at Justin's rebuff. Justin continued to eye him suspiciously and Emmett gave up the pretenses. "Oh alright, some queeny old fart left them for me, something about me brightening his day every time he comes into the store. The old fart never buys anything though." Emmett was pulling at a piece of loose feather on his boa-trimmed shirt. 

"You have the gall to call anybody queeny?" Justin laughed as he went back to wiping at the counter. He watched as Emmett recoiled, this time he had been offended. 

"As I've said a million times before, chicken, I prefer my flame to burn bright." 

"Yeah, if it were any brighter we'd all be blinded." Justin was still laughing and just seeing how happy he looked threw Emmett into his own laughter as well. 

"I must say your mood is certainly much improved." 

Justin's laughter cooled a little and he was starting to remember that he had reason to be suspicious of a certain Mr. Honeycutt. "You were just in here for lunch. Why are you back and why have you come bearing gifts?" 

"It's called a coffee break and it's called a random act of kindness." Emmett drawled. 

"Only you prefer martini breaks and there's nothing random about your little present." Justin gestured towards the little package again. 

Emmett looked at him for a while as if calculating the best course of action. Finally deciding honesty and directness were his best bets he broke into a resounding round of, "Please...Please... Please tell me...I promise I will not tell a soul...Please tell me what he said...did he say it?" 

"What are you talking about?" Justin was into his denial mode again. 

"Don't play dumb, the look doesn't work for you. Tell me what happened with Brian." 

"Nothing happened with Brian. I don't know what you're talking about." Justin had suddenly made it his life's work to rid the counter of a coffee stain that he'd discovered under his rag. The stain had to have been older than he was. 

Emmett reached forward and stilled the rag. "You've been missing in action for the last little while and Brian's been avoiding you. Debbie's been guarding you like a watchdog and Michael's been making more than his fair share of excuses so I know something's been going on with you and Brian that I was not made privy to." Michael had told him what was going on with he and Brian but Emmett's body language spoke of his great offence at being left out of this particular circle of information. "All of a sudden you're back all peppy and happy and the last time I saw you and Brian together it was that long deep look you too gave each other at Gus's party. Now give." 

"I have no clue what you're talking about so you're wasting your time." Justin turned to the sink behind him and began to rinse the rag. 

"I'll just ask Brian then." He was grasping at straws now and he knew it. There was no way in hell that Brian would confide information even about his shoes size to Emmett. 

Justin turned back to face the other man and let out a little laugh, "Yeah you do that. I'm sure you'll find Brian to be a fount of information." Justin shook his head and turned back to his rinsing. 

That tactic hadn't worked either so Emmett decided to try for random speculation. He'd shoot a few arrows and see if Justin's reaction pointed to any of them hitting the target. "I know you two must have fucked like rabbits. That's a given." 

No reaction. Justin didn't even turn around. 

"You probably spent the night at the loft. That's not news. All of Liberty is already well aware that Mr. One Time Only has granted you a seasons pass." 

No reaction. 

"So you two met at the loft after the party and you fucked." 

No confirmation and no denial. 

"And it's not just any old Saturday night under the sheets is it? It's a special occasion so to speak. If memory serves me correctly, you and Brian met one year ago Saturday." 

No reaction. 

"So you go to the loft and you celebrate this momentous occasion. Only you and I both know celebrating anniversaries is not traditional Brian Kinney fare." 

Something. There was a little tensing in the shoulders and a little falter in the movement of the rag. 

"Judging by your new found mood, Mr. Kinney showed you a very good time over the course of the evening and on top of the sex, I'm betting you got quite the anniversary present. Something to put my little box of chocolates to shame." 

There was definitely some tensing in the shoulders. 

"Sunshine you've got customers." Debbie fixed Emmett with a glare before swatting Justin on the butt cheek. "You go take care of their orders and," she turned back to face Emmett, "you stop tormenting him and go mind your store." 

Justin offered Emmett a sweet smile before moving off to tend to the late afternoon customers. The jingling of the bell above the door had literally saved him. 

 

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Lindsay watched as Melanie arranged Gus in his stroller before turning back to face her. Lindsay reached out and let her hands slip around Melanie's waist as Melanie pulled her close. The two had never been the type to shy away from public displays of affection and the corner of a busy intersection in mid-town Pittsburgh was just as good a place as any for a very intimate kiss. 

"I'll see you tonight." Melanie mouthed against Lindsay's lips. Lindsay nodded her response and the two ignored a truckload of Neanderthals who honked their horns and hooted at them as they drove by. Their lunch meeting was a rare chance to see each other outside of the walls of their home and Lindsay had come to relish any chance to get out during the day. She'd returned to caring for Gus at home full-time what with their financial situation more than covered between Melanie's and Brian's contributions. 

"I got something special during me and Gus' morning shopping spree and I bought a matching pair for you. I'll be waiting to show you mine if you promise to show me yours." Lindsay gestured towards the little lingerie bag that sat in the package pouch under the stroller. 

"I was wondering what was in that." Mel eyed the package and smiled. She watched as Lindsay licked her lips and then she leaned in for a taste. 

"Go...now." Lindsay pulled back from the kiss with a smile. "I'm all for afternoon delights but I don't plan on giving every passerby the full show." Melanie laughed before reaching into the stroller to play with Gus' fingers. 

"I'll see you both later. I love you." She kissed Lindsay again and headed off all the while throwing glances and waves behind her as she went. Lindsay watched until Melanie turned the corner and entered her building before she moved off in the direction where she'd parked. 

She'd been happily pushing Gus through the crowd of afternoon lunch goers and almost didn't recognize the woman who was walking towards her. 

"Jennifer, is that you?" The other woman was wearing dark sunglasses that obscured her eyes completely but Lindsay could still tell from the flushed complexion and the redness under her nose that she'd been crying. "Are you alright?" 

Jennifer fanned her hands in front of her face and tried to assure Lindsay that she was fine. Lindsay didn't buy any of it and she grabbed at Jennifer's hands to shush her when the other woman's voice started to crack and trail off. 

"Come with me. Come on. My car is just around the corner." Lindsay was trying to maneuver the stroller with one hand while reaching for Jennifer's arm with the other. 

"My car is right there." Jennifer was still trying to wave her off as she pointed to the silver sedan parked next to them at the curb. 

"You're in no condition to drive. Tell you what. Let's just duck in there for a few minutes until this passes, okay?" Lindsay pointed towards the little courtyard next to a Victorian building on their right. It was shielded from the street by a row of shrubbery and by several large trees. The space looked quiet and there were only a few people having lunch on the benches around it. 

Jennifer conceded and followed her inside. 

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Lindsay said as the woman settled down beside her and removed her sunglasses. 

"It's nothing. I'm stupid to be walking down the street crying about it." Jennifer was searching her purse for some tissue when Lindsay, seemingly out of nowhere, produced a package of Kleenex. 

"Mommies have everything in their purses." Lindsay smiled. "I'm sure you understand that." 

"Yes. Mommies always have the fix it for everything. Only sometimes there isn't any easy fix it." Jennifer turned away as she said these last words and wiped at the corners of her eyes. Never mind the fact that she'd already washed away much of her mascara and her nose was red and runny, the woman was still being careful not to smudge what was left of her make-up. 

"Jennifer, I know you don't know me all that well but I want to help if I can." Lindsay tried to be comforting. 

Proper decorum didn't see Jennifer Taylor sitting on park benches confiding in near strangers but she sensed that decorum had been overstepped somewhere back at the restaurant with Craig. She turned to face Lindsay before speaking. "I saw Justin's father today and let's just say it didn't go well." 

"Are you two trying to reconcile?" 

"Oh God no." Jennifer gasped. "We talked about the kids. We talked about Justin and Molly or rather we talked about keeping Justin away from Molly." 

"What? I don't understand." Lindsay searched Jennifer's face for further explanation. 

"Craig has decided that he no longer wants anything to do with our son and now he's decided he wants Molly to have nothing to do with Justin either." Jennifer spat the words out as if they tasted bitter in her mouth. 

"He would do that?" Lindsay knew very little about Justin's father but she'd seen first hand how the man reacted to the knowledge his son was gay and involved with Brian. Lindsay was trying to reconcile this behavior with the good memories Justin had recounted about what his father was like before he came out. 

"I find it very hard to predict what he would or wouldn't do anymore. In the last year that man has surprised me in ways I'd never thought imaginable." Jennifer dabbed at her eyes again and looked off into the distance. 

"Does Justin know about this?" 

"No and I don't want him knowing about this. I've got no intention of entertaining a word Craig has said and there's no need to add any more tension to Justin's life right now." Jennifer was adamant and Lindsay nodded her agreement. "My children have already been put through so much because he won't even try to understand." Jennifer trailed off weakly and Lindsay took her arm. 

"I'm so very sorry that all this is happening. What he's doing and the way he's reacting are absolutely not right." Lindsay was tapping into some of her own anger at her family's reaction to her relationship. 

"His major concern is the fact that all his friends know that he has a queer son. He's not concerned that Justin was hurt. He's not concerned about whether that Hobbes boy gets any jail time for what he did and he's not concerned about how his son feels. All he cares about is what strangers think." Jennifer had stopped crying and was speaking in a clear steady voice. "I'm so afraid for him. If his own father can hate him so much, what will other people want to do to him? That boy almost killed Justin just because he's not what they think he's supposed to be." Jennifer had turned to search Lindsay's face again. "Not to mention Brian." The woman shook her head at that thought. "Justin puts so much faith in him and I'm not sure it's deserved. Just like all the others Brian is going to hurt my son and there isn't a damned thing I can do about it." Fresh tears had started to pool at the corners of Jennifer's eyes again. 

Lindsay didn't think she could argue with anything the woman was saying. There were no guarantees for any of them. Justin's father could continue to make his life very difficult and he seemed determined to do just that. As for Brian, Lindsay was honest enough to realize that nothing involving Brian promised to be easy. "I don't know what to say about his father but where Brian's concerned, I can tell you that he's trying. I promise you he's trying." 

"Trying to do what? Trying to love my son? Trying to be good to him? Sorry if that's not much consolation for me considering how much Justin has already given over to him." Jennifer stabbed at her tears with the ruined piece of Kleenex. Lindsay didn't know what to say. 

 

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It was just after eight and still no sign of Brian. Michael had been feigning interest in the game ever since Emmett had racked up the balls and he constantly had to be reminded when it was his turn. He and Brian had talked since that night at the apartment and they'd hung out together almost every night before the weekend. They hadn't talked about anything of consequence and Michael figured it was better that way, at least for now. Right now he didn't have a clue what he wanted to say to Brian and he could tell that even though Brian wanted to say something about what had almost happened, his friend didn't know what to say either. 

Slipping back into a routine had worked for them before and Michael hoped that it would work this time. It had worked after he came on to Brian at Babylon under the flimsy pretense of being high and it had worked after Jack's funeral even though Michael could still recall in vivid detail exactly what it was like to feel Brian's hand on his cock again and feel Brian's breath against his lips. Michael leaned against the pole behind him and despite the din in the bar, drifted away into his own thoughts again. 

"Earth to Michael Novotny. Calling Michael Novotny." Ted was slapping at his face and Michael raised his hands drowsily to push the other invading hands away. 

"Is it my shot already?" 

"No but that's a clear enough answer to my question. I asked if you were listening to a word I was saying." Ted reached out and took the glass Michael was clearly about to drop and set it on the bar behind them. "What's going on with you tonight?" 

"Nothing, I'm just tired is all." Michael reached for his drink again and Emmett batted his hand away. 

"If you're this tired you shouldn't have obeyed His Majesty's command that you make an appearance tonight and you definitely shouldn't be drinking," Emmett warned. 

Michael gave Emmett a questioning look. "When did you become the poster child for all things responsible and drug-free?" Michael thought he'd managed quite a bit of wit considering how distracted he'd been feeling all day. 

"Since he had a rather unpleasant run in with Dungeon Master Bob last Thursday. Lets just say not enough sleep and too much alcohol made Emmett agree to some things he shouldn't have." Ted said wryly over the top of his glass. Emmett emphasized the point by throwing Michael a look of disgust as he chewed on the little cherry that had been garnishing his drink. 

"Howdy boys." Brian had thrown his arms around Emmett and Ted and reached over to smack Michael on the back of the head. 

"Where have you been? You said seven o'clock." Michael detected the whine in his own voice and resolved to try harder to temper it. 

"I said around seven." Brian moved away from them to grab the drink that the bartender had poured for him. He threw a look around the bar before settling his eyes on his friends again. 

"See anything that catches your fancy My Lord." Ted moved his arm in a wide sweeping gesture. He'd noticed Brian's survey of the pickings. "After all everything you see before you is yours for the taking." 

"Fuck off." Brian laughed. Brian and Ted had slipped into their routine and Michael was confident he and Brian could still try theirs on for size. Michael's first thought along those lines was to make a little rib about Justin. As if the universe could hear his mind working, the object of Michael's thoughts appeared. 

"I'm gonna use the washroom. Get me a drink?" Justin shrugged off his jean jacket and tossed it across the pool table in front of where Brian was standing before moving off to the other side of the bar. He'd offered the guys a greeting by way of a smile before addressing his words directly to Brian. 

Michael had his answer to why Brian had been late. When Brian arrived Michael had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts and the guys so wrapped up in his distraction that they hadn't noticed the two arrive together or notice Justin stop to talk to some people by the door. 

"Did you go pick him up as soon as his shift ended?" Ted quipped. Brian offered him the finger before turning his attention to a tall brunette who'd been cruising him for the last minute. 

Emmett turned to follow Brian's attention. "You've been here for what, a whole ten seconds and already it's started?" Emmett took in the delicious looking man who seemed to only have eyes for Brian. 

Brian smiled at the man and licked his lips before turning to address Emmett, "I didn't start it. He did." Michael had noticed that for all his flirting, Brian hadn't moved off to retrieve the man. Instead, when he did move off, Brian moved in the direction of the bar to order drinks. 

"Whatever you think happened with those two, he's gonna trash Justin." Ted summed up the situation. 

"And what do you base that sage wisdom on considering he's over there getting drinks instead of over there with Mr. Hunky?" Emmett was stirring his drink with his pinky. 

"Oh give him time. The night is still young and Mr. Hunky doesn't seem to be going anywhere in a hurry." The man was still giving Brian his best Come-Fuck-Me look and from what the guys could see Brian was still eyeing him from where he stood waiting at the bar. 

 

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Justin looked at himself in the low light of the room. He looked flushed and he attributed that to the fact that he'd just finished a ten-hour shift at the diner. He had yet to figure out how Debbie managed to stay on her feet all day everyday. 'At least most of the time,' Justin thought back to the little scare she'd given them that night after the run in with his father. 

He splashed some water on his cheeks and forehead before patting the areas dry. His hair had held up perfectly but he'd come to smell like grease over the course of the day. He would have given anything for Brian to say they were going straight back to the loft. Among the things that Justin wanted badly in that moment, taking a shower was ranking pretty high on the list. 

The noise from the bar spiked as someone opened the door and came into the washroom. Justin followed the man's eyes in the mirror. The guy was tall and built. Justin noticed the nose ring and the cropped spiky hair and he figured the guy was about his age or just a little older. He didn't usually go for fellow Twinkies but this guy was cute. The guy was staring at him while making use of a urinal to the left of the sink where Justin stood. Justin broke the stare and turned his attention towards arranging his hair. 

"You're not my type." Justin managed a burst of bravado and cockiness. He'd been spending a lot of time in Brian's company. 

"Just who's your type?" The guy hadn't bothered to zip himself back into his pants and Justin took a look at the goods as the man moved up to stand next to him at the sink. 

"Not you." Justin was smiling. He'd suddenly felt empowered to say anything he wanted to anybody he wanted. Just the mere thought that Brian Kinney was his type and he was Brian's had managed to add several inches to Justin's height among other things. 

The guy was still hanging out and Justin dropped his eyes for another look. The other man had started stroking himself and Justin watched. "It's not gonna work. I'm here with someone." Justin looked back at the man's face again. Both of them ignored the sound of the door opening behind them. 

"We thought you fell in?" Michael huffed, his eyes skimming both of their faces. 

Justin watched as his admirer zipped up his fly and moved passed Michael to reach the door. Justin crossed the small room slowly and stood in front of Michael for a few seconds. He read the look on Michael's face before turning to walk towards the door. "I think you know me better than that Michael." 

 

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Emmett and Ted watched as Mr. Hunky crossed to the bar and took a seat on the barstool closest to Brian. The two were talking quietly and try as they may, the guys couldn't hear what was being said. Brian had leaned in close and was whispering something into Hunky's ear. From the look on the guy's face, the magic words were having their intended effect. 

"I should have bet money on that happening." Ted pointed to the scene. 

"No fucking way. I was absolutely sure something happened with those two on Saturday." He'd given Ted the lowdown on Justin's reactions at the diner that afternoon and now Emmett was flashing looks between an approaching Justin and the seduction scene going on at the bar. 

"Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, did you expect Brian to stay home knitting sweaters? You remember what he told Michael when we found out about David at the baths. Whatever self imposed rules he's willing to break when it comes to young Justin, Brian absolutely doesn't believe that he can or should be monogamous." 

Emmett turned to cast a wary glance at Justin's face as he sidled up to the spot where they had been sitting. Michael was following close behind and he spotted Brian before Justin did. 

Justin stiffened a little when he looked across the room before smiling and offering a quick response. "That has nothing to do with me." He took a seat with his back to the show and quietly repeated his words to himself. 

When the guys looked back towards the bar Hunky had been dismissed and Brian was approaching with drinks in hand. He set a glass down in front of Justin before putting his beer to his lips. Brian took in the looks on all their faces and the fact that Justin had started sipping his drink without looking up at him at all. "What?" Brian offered his best in nonchalance before pulling up a chair and taking a seat at the small table. Justin continued to sip his drink. 

"I didn't say anything." Emmett's eyes darted between his and Justin's faces. Not only could he not confirm the new state of affairs in Brian-and-Justin-Land but the two men seemed to be determined to not leave him any clues with which to go on. The dynamic didn't seem any different from before. 

Brian was following the script he'd briefed Justin on when he picked him up from the diner but Justin had still felt a sting when he saw Brian and his conquest at the bar. Their friends were perceptive so Justin would have to get used to maintaining this public face to the relationship if they planned on keeping things private for a little while yet. 

"So where did Hunkalicious go Brian?" Ted had always been one to see to it that Brian twisted on the proverbial stake. 

"Jerking off in the john. How should I know?" Brian sneered before taking another swig of his beer. He'd sent the man packing for the evening after making sure to divulge his address and scheduling a more private meeting. That aspect hadn't been part of the discussed storyline for the evening but Brian had done it anyway. No Regrets. No Excuses. No Apologies. These had always been his cardinal rules and he planned on keeping them. He didn't regret what had happened with Justin but he certainly didn't plan on making any excuses for the way he'd lived all along or for any of the stuff Justin had promised he could handle. Brian didn't want to get into the position where he'd be obligated to apologize for anything he did. 

"Let me guess Brian. He's coming to the loft later or maybe tomorrow night but definitely not too much later in the week or you might forget what he looked like." Justin was wearing a half-smile as he chimed in on the discussion. 

Brian wasn't sure if this was just ad lib on the rehearsed dialogue or whether Justin was actually pissed at the prospect. Brian swallowed the remains of his beer and signaled to the bartender for another. He'd decided to ignore the potential implications of Justin's comment for now but maybe he and Justin would have to clarify the ground rules later. 

 

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"So who's up for some dancing?" Emmett was near drunk and he dropped a hand to his hip to emphasize the little impromptu dance move he was performing. 

"I'm not. Wortshafter's been after me to do some extra work and I've got to go in early tomorrow." Ted finished the last of his drink before pulling his car keys from his pocket. "Who needs a lift?" 

"I'm gonna head out too." Michael spoke before turning to look at Brian. "You okay getting home?" Brian waved him off and turned back to look at the game just over his shoulder. 

Emmett scrunched up his nose at Michael's question and threw Ted a disappointed look before turning to search the faces of the perpetual child and his faithful playmate. "What about you guys or do you two have other plans for the evening?" Emmett teased. Justin turned a quick glance in Brian's direction before shaking his head 'No'. Brian had been making eyes at a guy standing by the dartboards behind them and Justin was doing his best to ignore it. 

"Mondays at Babylon are always dead this time of year. Bargain basement. Not worth my time," Brian shifted his attention back to appraising the guy's jean clad ass. "But you guys should go, it'll be just your kind of crowd." He made this derisive comment to Emmett and Ted before stubbing out his cigarette and moving off towards the dartboards. 

"You should come instead of just sitting around here and watching him." Emmett slipped close to Justin's ear. Justin shook his head no again as he caught the sideways glance Brian had thrown him. 

Even though he'd been physically moving away from the table, Brian had managed to keep an ear peeled for Justin's reaction to Emmett's whispered invitation. He moved up behind the trick and leaned in towards the man's ear. "I want to fuck you." The man turned his head to get a look at Brian's face before throwing his pursuer an interested smile. Brian moved around to stand in front of this new man and ran a hand across the guy's crotch. From this angle he could see Justin at the table and he could see that Emmett was still whispering furiously in his ear. Brian could also see the disapproving look that Michael was throwing on whatever Emmett was saying. If Emmett had gone back to warning Justin off where he was concerned, then Brian was sure that the late show that he'd been performing had been very effective. He kept up his watch as the guys said their goodbyes and left the bar. 

"You were very convincing." Justin didn't turn to look at him when he sat down at the table again. 

"I don't need to act it comes naturally." Brian lit another cigarette. He still wasn't sure whether they were using the script or whether Justin was actually bothered. 

"So am I going home with you tonight? I'm starting to fall asleep on my feet and I'd rather fall asleep on my back." Justin was giving him a sly smile and a look from the corner of his eyes. This language was something Brian didn't have trouble deciphering. He turned to look at Justin just as the guy from the dartboard came over to deposit his telephone number on the table in front of Brian. 

"You didn't give me yours but I definitely want my fuck." The man had green-rimmed eyes. 

"You want a fuck? I'll give you a fuck. Fuck off." Justin grabbed the piece of paper and crumpled it in his fist. Brian rolled his tongue against the inside of his cheek and narrowed his focus on Justin's face. He had no intention of being possessed by Justin but Brian found this little peak at Justin's jealous streak very stimulating. The trick was still looking at him and Brian threw the man an indifferent stare. 

"I thought you said tricking didn't bother you?" Brian followed the retreating man with his eyes. 

"It doesn't but you've been playing all night, it's my turn now." Justin was sucking on the skewered olive that had been perched on the side of his drink. "Let's get out of here." He'd been speaking quietly but nothing about Justin's tone was demure. Jealous and now aggressive. Brian would definitely have to make sure he and Justin were on the same page, but for now he thought this could prove very interesting. Brian huffed a small laugh before standing and kicking his chair out from under the table. 

"You sent my fuck away so I guess you'll have to do." He moved off towards the doors. Justin followed not far behind. 

 

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The ride to the loft was quiet and Justin thought back to the afternoon they'd spent together just the day before. He'd been scared about what would happen to them in the light of day but had been in for a nice surprise. He'd woken up to find Brian on his treadmill with headphones firmly in place and Justin rediscovered another of the virtues of Brian's body. Sweat. Pulling the sheets around himself, Justin made his way towards the other man and stood beside him. 

"I'm surprised you have the energy." Justin mouthed when he caught Brian's attention. 

Brian took off his headphones and slowed his brisk run to a jog and then to a pace. "You did all the work." Brian made his comment with a straight face despite Justin's huge grin. 

"I'm starving. Did you eat already or do you want me to fix you something?" Justin spoke quickly while he tried to get his mind and his grin under control. Brian's gaze was unwavering. 

"No and no." Brian stepped off the treadmill and wiped his face in the towel that had been draped around his shoulders. 

Justin hadn't missed the significance of Brian's activities. Even though he kept a treadmill and weights around, Brian didn't exercise in the loft unless he had some serious tension he wanted to work off (via exercise) and wasn't in the mood for gym company. Justin sifted through the surprisingly well-stocked refrigerator and retrieved a box of milk and a bottle of Brian's juice. It was well after three in the afternoon but cereal and juice worked at any time of day. 

"Here." Justin handed Brian the glass of juice without bothering to acknowledge Brian's earlier refusal. "You working today?" 

"I thought you wanted to talk." Brian had moved up to stand across from Justin at the counter. He'd ignored Justin's attempt at small talk deciding instead to bite the bullet. 

"I did. I do. If you do?" Justin pulled a bowl from the cupboard and set it on the counter between he and Brian. 

"About what I said." Brian had dropped his eyes to the jar of cereal on the counter. "It's done. I'm not going to take it back." 

Justin smiled a little. This must have been what passed for a morning after 'I love you' in Brian speak. Justin kept his eyes on Brian's and nodded. "That's all I really wanted to know." He watched as Brian reached over and dumped cereal into the bowl before taking another sip of his juice. This little dialogue seemed like more than enough for now. 

"You coming?" Brian had reached inside the window to swat him across the back of the head. Justin hadn't noticed when they pulled up in front of the building and he hadn't noticed when Brian got out or came around to his side of the Jeep. 

"Uh. Yeah." 

Brian jerked the car door open before turning to climb the steps. Justin followed him up and watched as Brian hit the security code and pulled at the front door. Brian was taking the steps two at a time and Justin hurried to catch up. 

"Hold up. I told you that I was tired." 

"You'd better wake up because we're not going up there to turn down the covers and tuck you in." Brian shot back over his shoulder as he rounded the last flight of stairs. 

When Justin made it to the top he found the door to the loft standing open. Brian had been checking his messages and Justin shrugged off his jacket and pulled the door closed. "I'm taking a shower first, okay." Justin watched as Brian waved him off with an envelope. The man was scanning through his mail as well. Justin crossed to the bedroom and tossed his jacket on to the bed. Brian had been following him with his eyes and he watched as Justin pulled his t-shirt over his head and toed off his sneakers. 

Justin checked his reflection in the mirror. The hair was still holding up perfectly but his eyes were reddish from all the smoke in the bar. His allergies hadn't been acting up for the last little while but tonight the combination of smoke, muggy weather and the long shift had made for less than sparkling blues. He pulled at the snaps on his pants and let them pool around his ankles before stepping out of them. His nipple ring was missing and Justin's eyes automatically moved to a spot on the counter in front of him. Brian had taken it out during yesterday's activities and Justin forgot that he wasn't wearing it. Justin remembered that Brian had wanted him completely naked and Justin figured he'd keep up the look for a little while yet. He ran his hand across his stomach and pushed down his underwear. His shift had been draining but he was coming to life. Justin turned up the spray and stepped behind the glass. He fully expected Brian to join him. 

 

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Skin on skin. Wet on wet. He could feel Brian's tongue on his back and the cool of the glass in front of him. He still had shampoo in his hair so he'd be forced to keep his eyes closed until Brian let him turn around into the spray again. Brian was kissing the back of his neck now and Justin could feel broad hands sweeping up and across his chest. He reached up to touch his own nipples and was instantly reminded of the missing ring. He'd moved his hand to tug at it before remembering it was still on the counter. Brian was pushing him against the glass again and Justin did his best to keep his balance under Brian's weight. He'd been pushing back against Brian's body and willing the other man to move his kisses lower. His face was still pressed into the glass as he felt Brian reach between his legs to squeeze at his balls. Justin made the mistake of opening his eyes on feeling that contact and now he was paying the price with the intense stinging. 

"Brian." He mouthed against the glass. 

"Hmm." Brian was still licking at his neck but now he'd moved his attention to toying with Justin's hole. 

"Move back a little. I've gotta rinse my hair out." Justin finally managed. 

"Your hair?" Brian opened his eyes to look at what he could see of Justin's profile. 

"I've still got shampoo in my hair and it's killing my eyes. Don't you taste it?" 

"It's all natural, tastes like honey. It's not supposed to burn your eyes." Brian was still looking at him. 

"You know my allergies. Now move back so I can rinse them out before they swell shut." 

Brian shifted backwards and pulled Justin with him. He guided Justin's head back to rest against his chest and turned Justin's face towards the spray. Justin relaxed as he felt both of Brian's hands skimming across his cheeks and felt Brian's fingers on his eyelids. Brian washed both eyes thoroughly before moving his hands up to rub at Justin's hair and tease his fingernails across Justin's scalp. Justin was arching into the touch now and Brian kissed at Justin's temple as he continued to wash the blonde hair. 

Justin turned to face Brian. "Your eyes are blood red." Brian looked slightly dismayed as he said those words. 

"I told you it was burning me." Justin didn't care about the new hue his eyes were sporting. Brian had managed to put out one fire but now Justin needed him to put out another one. He slipped his arms around Brian's neck and pulled him close. "Kiss me." 

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth to moisten them further before leaning in to give Justin a teasing kiss. Teasing lips gave way to pressing lips, which gave way to an urgent tasting and tonguing. Brian was pushing him back into the glass again and Justin was pushing back against Brian's body. He reached down between Brian's legs and stroked at the man's cock in time with the pressure of the kiss. He felt Brian's hands on his hips and Justin spread his stance a little wider allowing Brian to step that extra inch closer. Brian was sucking on his tongue now and Justin opened his mouth for even more exploration. He could feel Brian's hands pressing at the backs of his thighs and Justin leaned all his weight into the glass and tightened his grip on Brian's neck and shoulders. Justin let Brian lift him and hold him up before he hooked his legs around Brian's body. The glass was slippery but Brian's hold on him was firm. 

"We're getting out." Brian looked drugged. 

"Fuck me in here." Justin said wickedly as he licked at the side of Brian's face. 

"There's no stuff in here." 

"We don't need stuff." Justin was still licking. 

"Never Justin." Brian shifted Justin away from the glass and took two careful steps back toward the door. He pushed the door open and stepped out on to the marble, all the while balancing his armload on slippery feet. 

"Think we'll make it to the bed?" Justin teased as he tightened his grip on Brian's body. 

"We'll make it if you don't move around." Brian warned him as he took the last few steps towards their destination. Justin took in the sight of the straining muscles in Brian's forearms as the man lowered him on to the bed. 

"We're gonna soak it clear through to the mattress." 

"We've soaked it before. It'll dry." Brian dropped his weight between Justin's legs and pushed him down against the sheets. 

Justin let his tongue snake out between his open lips. This little flash of tongue was purely for Brian's benefit and it had the intended effect. Brian was crushing him under his weight and drowning him in fierce kisses. Justin bucked up under Brian's body and closed his legs around Brian's back again. Brian alternated between deep kisses and pulling back to look at Justin's face. 

"No more teasing. Just fuck me. Please." Justin pushed his words against Brian's lips. Brian ran his hands down Justin's sides before pulling away to reach the condom bowl. Justin grabbed at the tube of lube and moistened his fingers. Brian had been kneeling on the platform that ran around the perimeter of his bed and he watched as Justin moved to prepare himself. Condom in place, Brian stroked at himself and watched intensely as Justin pushed and stretched and teased. Justin moved his hands away and now Brian could see the generous application of lubricant glistening against Justin's puckered skin. "Please." Justin flashed Brian another peak at his tongue before pulling his knees up in a further invitation. 

Brian leaned in and ran his hands across the backs of Justin's thighs. He could see his own handprints on Justin's fair skin from the minutes he'd spent holding Justin up in the shower. "Now Brian, please." Justin was pulling him closer and Brian looked down their bodies to position himself. He'd met Justin's gaze before applying any pressure and now Brian could feel Justin shifting up to meet the head of his cock. "Please." Justin was panting a bit and Brian pushed through. 

What happened next is best described as desperate and furious and hungry. Neither of them lasted very long and Justin continued his lascivious begging throughout. 

They had locked eyes and Brian was the first to break the stare. Justin watched as the other man closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Brian was refocusing on his face again and Justin was hypnotized as Brian's pupils dilated slowly. Eyes that were green-gray just moments before were swimming and dark, as Justin's face became Brian's focal point. The rhythm was slow and deep before building with an energy all its own. A combination of sweat and water from their shower dripped from Brian's forehead and on to Justin's face. Brian held on for dear life as Justin worked his hips in time with each thrust. Justin's eyes slipped shut as Brian pushed in deep. 

"Open your eyes." Brian's breath was hot against Justin's face. 

"Huh." Justin willed his eyes to open again. 

"I wanna see your eyes." A deep rumbling from Brian's throat. 

"Oh God. Huh. Uh." Words became harder and harder for Justin as the momentum continued to build. 

"Aaaaaaah." Brian forced his hands and arms under Justin's body and let much of his weight fall against Justin's chest. They were both breathing hard now and Justin reached up to stroke his hands over Brian's face. He was caressing Brian's cheeks and temples and rubbing over Brian's ears. Brian turned his face into the touch and let his own eyes slip closed again. 

"Open your eyes," Justin was smiling through his moans. Brian refocused his gaze on Justin's face again and squeezed Justin's body tighter. "Oh fuck me," Justin whispered as he kissed at Brian's lips before pulling him closer so that his forehead rested against Justin's. Brian withdrew slowly and then pushed in hard and fast. He watched the intoxicated expression spread across Justin's face and he repeated his movements. Moaning and sucking at Justin's face, Brian was starting to lose it. He wouldn't take his eyes off Justin and Justin held his stare. 

Justin was whimpering now and the small choked sounds were going straight to Brian's dick. He pushed harder and Justin pushed back. Neither broke their physical connection and neither broke their visual connection. That is, until the very end. Brian came first and cried out deep in his throat as Justin rocked up into his body. He closed his eyes and buried his face in Justin's hair. He'd been floating through that intense pleasure when he suddenly felt Justin bite into his neck. The feeling was of grazing teeth followed by soothing lips. It would leave a mark and Brian was sure that Justin realized what he was doing. 

Skin on skin and wet on wet. That's how they fell asleep. 

 

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"Justin. Justin." Jennifer stood amidst the growing pile of boxes and called to her son upstairs. 

"Yeah Mom," Justin leaned over the railing and located his mother at the foot of the stairs. 

"I found some more of your stuff in the garage. You'll want to go through it before I start packing any of it up." They'd delayed the sale and move for Molly's benefit and then because of Justin's injuries but now the Taylors were definitely in packing mode. 

"Sure. I'll get to it as soon as I can but I'm no where near done up here." Justin turned back to survey his ruined childhood room. The walls had been stripped bare and now everything that had been on the walls lay in piles around the perimeter of the room. He and his mother had pulled apart the bed earlier and in its place stood several cardboard boxes. The boxes were filled with art books, old projects, clothes and basically everything Justin had found artistically interesting in the last few years. He'd been working for the last four hours and already he'd come across several early sketches of Brian and he'd found the picture of him and Brian at the art show. At the time, Justin couldn't figure out how he'd managed to lose a picture he stared at practically every night. The picture had been caught behind the floorboard next to his wastebasket and Justin couldn't imagine how it got there or how it had gotten creased in the process. He smoothed out the wrinkled picture and admired Brian's devilish looking grin. As far as Justin was concerned that picture had been taken ten lifetimes ago. 

"Look what I found." He turned to show his mother the picture as she came across the threshold of his room. 

"Ah. The virtues of actually cleaning up your room." Jennifer dismissed the momentary twinge she'd felt when she saw what Justin was holding. 

"I bet he doesn't even remember when this was taken." Justin was still looking at the picture. 

"So what do you need help with? I want to get as much as possible done before Molly gets home from your grandparents." Jennifer picked up a box of clothes that had been standing at her feet. 

Justin hadn't seen his grandparents in months and he hadn't talked to them at all since the day he got out of the hospital. His mother tried to make sure he understood they still loved him. They were just having some trouble with everything seeing as though they were so conservative. That second part had bothered him the most. Not just the fact that his previously ever doting grandparents could forget every quality of his character in the face of one new revelation about his life, but also the fact that his mother still felt it necessary to shield him from what was really going on with his family. Like he'd told Brian in the hospital, things had changed in him and one of those things was a need for people to be honest with him about what they thought. He'd managed that kind of honesty from Brian and he figured he could handle it from anybody else. 

"They still pretending I fell off the face of the earth?" Justin threw his mother a look as he unpacked a shelf above his former desk. 

"Sweetheart you know what they're like. I've never really got along with your grandmother. Your father's parents are sometimes a mystery to me." She tossed a few of Justin's sweaters into the box before turning to face her son again. 

"So when did Molly go to see them?" 

"I dropped her off on the weekend. She won't be back until seven at least so we have until then to make a dent in all this. You know she only adds to messes if she's around so that's why I want us to finish up some of this." Jennifer was trying to steer the conversation away from narrow-minded relatives and back to the task at hand. "Do you want to keep these or should I toss them?" Jennifer held up a pair of Rollerblades Justin had last used when he was fourteen. 

"They don't fit anymore Mom. You can put them in the pile for the Salvation Army. Brian bought me another pair." 

"He did?" 

"Yeah. He hates walking anywhere and he hates jogging, unless it's on his treadmill, but he actually likes inline skating. We do it on the weekends sometimes." Justin shrugged his shoulders and tried to make light of the experience. This in spite of the fact that he looked forward to those hours he spent touring around the city with Brian. Brian didn't believe in helmets or padding and he always opted for old jeans, a wife beater and sunglasses whenever they did it. Justin could see the lightly tanned skin, the taut muscles of Brian's legs and back and the way the man's ass beckoned to him whenever Brian took off ahead of him. Justin bent to set some books in a box and he hoped his mother would stop staring at him. He could still see Brian's long smooth strides. He figured there wasn't much Brian didn't do gracefully. 

"I saw Daphne's parents the other day." 

Justin hadn't really been listening to much of what his mother was saying. His mind made a detour to follow a memory of the first time he discovered Brian's like for this particular mode of transportation. Brian had been checking out toys for Gus and he'd stopped into the sporting goods store next door only on Justin's whining insistence. Justin went straight for the sneakers and Brian, never being one to pass up the opportunity to shop, had started checking out a display of the latest and hottest in skates. Justin remembered the salesman flirting with Brian the entire time he was sizing and buying the skates and he was pretty sure Brian threw in the extra pair for him just to throw the guy off. 

The doorbell rang just then jolting Justin out of his memory and cutting off his mother's rambling. Jennifer moved off to answer it and Justin turned his attention to the photograph of he and Brian again. 

"What are you guys doing here so soon?" Justin could hear his mother talking quietly downstairs. 

"I don't feel good Mommy. My tummy hurts." He could hear his sister's voice and he could hear the sound of the front door closing. 

"She wasn't feeling well so my mother called and asked me to come and get her." He could hear his father's voice now. 

"I would have gone and gotten her. All Kathleen had to do was call me." His mother addressed his father in hushed tones before turning her attention to Molly. "When did it start to hurt Sweetheart?" 

"After lunch today. Daddy brought me right home." His mother and his sister were coming up the stairs and Justin didn't know what he wanted to do. 

"She's fine. You can go now." Jennifer turned around halfway up the steps to address her husband. 

"We need to talk. You settle her in and I'll wait." Craig loosened his tie and moved into the sitting room. Jennifer could feel her anger rising. This man no longer lived in their home but moved around as though he had every right to be there. 

Justin stood in the doorway and looked at his mother as she approached with Molly. 

"Hi Justin." Molly sounded weak. 

"Hey Mollusk." He reached out a hand to ruffle her hair. "You feeling sick?" 

Molly nodded and Jennifer reached up to whisper in his ear. By the look on Justin's face she'd realized he recognized the visitor. "Don't go downstairs. I'll get him to leave as soon as I can." 

Justin was quiet for a little while before speaking. "I'm not hiding from him." He turned and walked down the stairs to the foyer. 

"Dad." Justin stood in the doorway of the sitting room as his father turned to face him. The man looked at him but didn't say anything for a long while. 

"Why are you here?" 

Justin huffed a little laugh before answering. "Packing." He hadn't laid eyes on his father in eight months, two weeks and four days. He remembered the exact date that the man attacked Brian outside of Babylon. 

Silence. His father wasn't looking at him anymore. Craig Taylor was sporting a look somewhere between the queasy expression Justin had seen on Molly's face moments before and the irritated disgust he'd been wearing the night he'd bruised three of Brian's ribs. 

"You shouldn't be here when Molly is around." The man spoke firmly through gritted teeth. He'd found he had to pry his eyes away from Justin's face before he could speak. The young man before him still looked like his son and still felt like his son but there was so much more there now that Craig Taylor didn't think he could ever see beyond. 

"What?" 

"You heard what I said. I don't want you here when Molly is here. You moved out so stay out." Good. Craig thought his voice sounded strong and forceful. 

"I am out Dad," Justin spat his double entendre before finishing, "but what does that have to do with Molly?" 

"It has everything to do with Molly." Queasy was gone and irritated disgust was the order of the day. "I don't want her exposed to any of it. You stay out there and you keep it out there with you." He was starting to get very angry now and all his most bitter feelings were overcoming those pangs of regret he'd first felt when he saw Justin's face again. 

"Now I can't see my sister?" 

"You heard what I said. This is still my house and I don't want you coming here, let alone coming here when she's here." His father was spitting angry now and Justin watched as the man's coloring took on a deep red tone. 

"Do what you want to me. I don't give a fuck if you ever speak to me again but I'm not gonna disappear and I'm not gonna stop seeing my sister." Justin moved into the room to stand across from his father. The man tried to use his height to intimidate him but Justin stood firm. 

"Get out of my house." Craig Taylor's voice was cold and full of venom. There didn't seem to be anything left of the man who'd framed every drawing Justin did as a kid and who'd worked tirelessly to make sure his son had every advantage. 

"No Craig. You leave and you leave now." Jennifer crossed the room and stood between the two men. 

"I told you not to push me on this Jen. If you can't see passed the damned clouds in your eyes and see what's best for our daughter, it'll be up to me." His eyes were flashing with anger and he made his threat clear. 

"Don't you threaten me. These clouds I apparently have in my eyes are called love and acceptance Craig. You have no right and I will not stand by and watch you pit my children against each other." 

"He's turned his back on us Jen." The man was yelling and pointing in Justin's direction. "He's destroyed our family. He doesn't value anything we've built for him or anything we want for him. I gave him a choice and he made it." He turned to face Justin now and spat his next words, "You've found all you need living out there with a pack of faggots so you stay out there. You gave yourself to the worst bastard you could find so you keep your disgusting life and your fucking diseases out of my house and away from my daughter." 

Justin stood quietly and took in all that his father had said before speaking. 

"Did I deserve it Dad?" 

Brian had told Justin about the last few times he'd spoken to his own father before he died. Brian even confided the fact that he came out to his father. As a special lesson in fatherly love, Brian had told Justin how his father had wished him dead or dying. Justin remembered the exact words he'd spoken to Brian in defense of Craig Taylor. He'd said, "My father might not like me right now but I know he loved me and he'd never say something like that." He'd come to doubt his faith in his father over these last three months but Justin didn't think he could ever admit giving up completely. The answer to this one question could well be the straw that broke the camel's back. 

"No Justin. No." Jennifer was waving off his question while motioning for her husband to hold his tongue. She saw the danger of the question and she sensed the destruction that would lay in the wake of the answer. 

Craig pulled his lips back in a snarl and when he spoke Justin felt the blow of each word as clearly as he'd felt the strike of the bat. 

"It would have been worth it if it smacked some sense back into your head. As it stands it was a wasted effort." The words were bitter and even though they were spoken quietly they continued to echo off the walls of the room and reverberate inside Justin's skull. 

"Sweetheart please don't leave." His mother's words were desperate as she followed him towards the front door. He could hear her voice but he couldn't make sense of what she was saying. He had the sensation of being drowned and his limbs felt heavy as he walked. This feeling was all too familiar. Justin felt like he'd been hit with a lead weight. Everything hurt and he wanted to cry out but his body had other plans. He could taste blood in his mouth and he could hear the voice begging him to stay. Saying "No. No. No," over and over again. He kept hurting and no matter what he tried he couldn't cry out. He couldn't get his throat to move because of all the blood. He could taste it and he could hear the sound of his heart thudding in his ears. The sound was getting weaker and the rhythm was slowing down. He felt like he was floating and he could feel strong hands pulling at him, trying to pull him back. 

"Justin, please." The voice was begging again but he still couldn't cry out. Justin didn't see his mother's face as he opened the front door and stepped outside into the sunlight. 

Just like before, he saw the light and he saw Brian's face. 

 

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"Justin, you know he..." Jennifer had turned to look at him as she pulled to a stop at the red light. 

"Don't say anything Mom." Justin spoke quietly. His eyes were fixed on the dashboard in front of him as they retraced the route back to Debbie's house. 

They drove in silence for several blocks until Jennifer broke down into tears. Justin listened to her muffled crying and forced back the emotions that had been threatening to choke him for the last several minutes. He still felt like he was floating and he wanted to cry out. He opened his mouth and took a deep breath. He still felt that gripping tightness in his chest that stopped him from releasing the scream that lay just below the surface of his calm. 

"I just didn't want you to hear any of this. I never intended for you to hear this. I wouldn't have let him get away with..." The woman was trying to catch her breath around her choked sobs. 

"Please stop." Justin dropped his eyes and closed them tightly as he tried again to push back his own tears. They had pulled up in front of Deb's now and Justin reached around to grab his backpack from the back seat. He flipped the lock on the door and got out quickly without throwing a look behind him to his mother's face. He didn't see that Jennifer was following him with her eyes and he didn't see when she dropped her face against the steering wheel in defeat. She'd tried so hard to protect him but if ever she saw it more clearly, it was now. Even in her own home, she was powerless to stop what would happen to him. 

"Sunshine, that you?" Debbie called from the kitchen. She was bent over in front of the refrigerator searching for something way in the back. 

"Yeah Deb." Justin tossed his backpack into a chair close to the door. 

"I made that lasagna that you like." Debbie turned to locate Justin in the living room behind her but he wasn't there. She could hear him climbing the stairs to his room. 

"Thanks. I need to take a shower first though." Justin's voice trailed off as he rounded the top of the stairs. 

"I can imagine. I remember all the dust and muck we had to sift through when we had to pack up our apartment to move here. Of course we didn't have anywhere near the amount of stuff your parents must have in that place and I certainly can't see your mother letting even an inch of dust sit anywhere in that house." Debbie had been rambling to herself; Justin having already shut his bedroom door and shut out all other sounds but the words that still echoed in his head. 

He sat down heavily on the bed. At first he was studying the weave of the denim that covered his legs. He took note of the slightly dusty areas around his knees and he noticed the slight fraying on the outside seam of his jeans. He washed his eyes over the hands that lay in his lap. He'd been clenching his hands into hard fists and his knuckles had gone white with the pressure. Justin slowly opened his hands and stared down at his palms. His hands were hot and his skin was still flushed. He could still hear his heart beating in his ears and he could still hear his mother's voice coaxing him and trying to calm him down. She'd practically pushed him towards her car and made him sit down inside before going back into the house to get his things. Justin sat motionless on his bed and stared down at his hands until his vision became blurry. He watched through the haze as his tears started to pool in the creases of his palms. 

 

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"Brian. Lindsay is on line six." Cynthia's voice hummed from the speakerphone. 

Brian rolled his chair closer to the desk and flipped the call button. "What?" 

"Hello to you too." Brian could hear Gus screaming in the background on Lindsay's end of the line. 

"What are you doing to my son?" Brian stood up from his chair to reach his file cabinet and almost tripped over the stacks of product layouts that were piled on the floor around the perimeter of his desk. He'd been working on three different accounts over the course of the day and was nowhere close to coming up with a marketing direction for products two or three. Last week hadn't been very busy but this week, he seemed to have work waiting for him around every corner. 

"Your son's fine he's just hungry. Look Bri, I wanted to talk to you about something. Do you think you could come by this evening before Mel gets home?" Lindsay was sporting a tone in her voice that never ceased to make Brian suspicious. 

"You want me in and out for a quickie before the Missus gets back." Brian was distracted but he could manage wisecracks like these in his sleep. 

"I'm worried about something that I think you should know about. So can you come by?" 

"I'm swamped Lindsay. I'm probably sleeping here tonight. What's this about?" Brian leafed through the pages and pages of copy that lay on his desk before locating the piece he'd been looking for. He grabbed at a red-ink pen before leaning back in his chair. 

"It's about Justin." 

Brian's posture stiffened as he heard her words. He wasn't discussing Justin with anyone right now and that included Lindsay. "You've already delivered your sermon where he's concerned. I don't want any more advice." He tapped the pen against the edge of his desk and got ready to hang up. 

"It's not about that. You'll fuck it up no matter what I say. I just wanted to warn you about something I'd heard." The baby was still squealing in the background. 

"Why so fucking cryptic?" Brian asked impatiently. Cynthia quietly pushed open his door and dropped another armload of papers on to his already overflowing desk. She picked up the stuff in Brian's 'out' basket before moving to the door again. 

"Just come over." 

"I'm on the phone now so tell me now." Brian was losing patience and the sound of Gus' crying was starting to sting his ears. 

"Shit. I can't talk now with Gus like this. I'm gonna feed him. At least call me back later when you get a chance." 

"Yeah. Whatever." Brian was moving to hang up the phone but he could still hear when Lindsay called out her next few words. 

"Don't blow me off Brian. This is important." 

 

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"It's in the oven for when you're ready. You can serve yourself and dish up some for Vic too, right?" Debbie was leaving her last minute instructions before heading over to the diner for her graveyard shift. 

"Yeah Deb." A freshly showered Justin was listlessly pouring himself a glass of milk and Debbie took note of the fact that the grin he'd been sporting since getting back from Brian's on Sunday night was conspicuously missing. 

"You okay?" Debbie gave him a quick once over. 

"I'm fine. I'm not going to eat now okay. I'll have it later on." Justin set the glass of milk down on the counter and moved to tie the mouth of the garbage bag that Debbie had left for him to take out. Debbie watched him closely as he lifted the bag and moved towards the backdoor. 

"Sunshine." She'd waited for him to come back inside before launching her expedition. "What's the matter with you and don't tell me nothing because I can tell it's not nothing?" She was holding his face in her hands now. 

"I'm just tired Deb. I've been moving shit all day. I just need to lie down for a bit that's all." Justin pulled back from her grip and grabbed his glass before heading back upstairs. 

Debbie stuffed her hands into the pockets of her vest and listened as Justin climbed the stairs slowly and closed his bedroom door. She could tell this sudden cooling in his mood wasn't nothing and she quickly scanned through the plausible explanations. He'd been smiling and fine when she last saw him the night before. She remembered that Brian had picked him up after his shift at the diner and she hadn't seen Justin since then. He'd called to tell her he was spending the night at the loft and outside of legitimately being tired from helping his mother all day, Debbie's first suspicion was that credit for Justin's dour mood belonged squarely at Brian's feet. 

 

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"Okay, so she comes in and asks for something tasteful that doesn't reveal too much cleavage. I'm looking at this queen's flat bony chest and wondering to myself what the fuck is she talking about cleavage. What does Miss Thing do? She turns around and lifts up her skirt to show me that the cleavage she's referring to is her equally bony butt crack." Emmett let out a raucous peel of laughter at his own supposed joke. Ted shook his head and looked around at the other patrons of the diner before giving Michael a little look. Neither of them got the joke let alone thought it was funny. 

"Anyway." Ted said dismissively while ignoring the look Emmett was now throwing his way, "Any amazing adventures in your end of the retail business Michael?" Ted was squeezing his lemon wedge into his Diet Coke. 

"Well nobody came in and asked for crack revealing loungewear, so I guess I'd have to say no to that one. No amazing adventures at my end of the retail business." 

"Nobody shops at that depressing crap emporium so I wouldn't expect you to have anything interesting to tell." Emmett was chewing on a fry and trying to sop up the spill of water from the glass he'd knocked over while laughing at his own joke. 

"Well that's not quite true. Did I ever tell you the one about the drag queen who came in last Halloween?" Michael had started to tell the story when his mother moved up to their booth. 

"Where's Brian?" Debbie freshened their water glasses as she spoke. 

"He called me before I came over here. He's working late, he said he was swamped again." Michael took a sip of his water. 

"I'll just bet. Are you sure he's really at work?" Debbie had one hand on her hip as she balanced the water pitcher and several glasses on her tray. 

"Well I didn't go over there and check to make sure he was actually sitting at his desk, but the rustling of the papers in the background and the call display showing his work number were good enough for me to believe him at the time." Michael was smirking. 

"Don't get smart with me." Debbie was shaking a finger at him and Michael started to grin. 

"What's going on Deb?" Ted offered the question in light of the fact that it obviously wasn't just the prospect of missing a generous tip from Brian that was bothering Debbie. 

"I don't know but I'm betting Brian can tell me." Debbie looked around the crowded restaurant before fixing her eyes on the trio again. "Did he say anything about Justin or was he in his usual off mood?" Debbie directed her question to Michael. 

"No. What's going on with Justin now?" Michael sounded irritated and the grin he was wearing moments before was now gone. 

"Never mind. I'll send Ricky over to finish wiping up that spill." Debbie sensed her son's reluctance to discuss anything having to do with Brian and Justin. 

"I told you. Didn't I tell you?" Emmett was looking around the table for the credit he so obviously thought he was due. "I told you something was going on between them and now there's trouble in paradise because of all that shit Brian was pulling at Woody's last night." 

"Whatever." Ted dismissed Emmett's gloating as he went about dunking his plate with ketchup. "That's assuming there ever was a paradise to cause trouble in and that's forgetting that nothing Brian was doing last night is at all out of the ordinary. Like I told you already I haven't seen one thing to suggest any shift in the status quo." 

"What's this about last night?" Debbie had been walking by again and had caught Emmett's last few words. 

Emmett opened his mouth to answer her and Michael cut him off. "It's nothing Ma, just let it alone." Michael was trying to wave her away from the table. 

Debbie held up a finger to shush him before turning to address Emmett with one word. 

"Speak." 

 

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"Hullo." Justin spoke very quietly and tentatively. He wished for the thousandth time in months that Debbie subscribed to caller I.D. At least he could tell who was calling if the call came through on his cell, but with Debbie's line you could never tell. He'd been afraid to answer but more afraid of raising alarm if it had been Debbie calling to check on him or Vic. 

"You still sound like shit, so my guess is that you're still waiting for Prince Charming to tell you where you stand." Daphne spoke quickly into the line. 

"Hey Daph." 

"Where have you been and why haven't you called me?" She'd last seen him when he came home with her for dinner last Thursday and they hadn't talked since early Saturday morning. 

"It's like I told my Mom Daph. A lot can change in a week." Justin's voice dipped at the end of his statement. 

"Oh shit, you talked to him didn't you?" Daphne was referring to the preeminent issue that had been on her friend's mind the last time they spoke. Brian. 

"Look Daph, I don't have the energy to go through and tell you all the details right now. Do you mind if I just give you the twenty-second highlights and then could you come over?" He'd never considered Daphne to be part of the off-limits list of people that Brian didn't want to know about what had happened. 

"Sure Justin. What's going on?" Daphne's tone and mood had changed significantly in light of the sadness she could hear in Justin's voice. 

"I saw Brian on Saturday at Gus' party and then he left. But he asked Debbie to ask me to come see him at the loft." Justin was trailing off a little and Daphne could hear that little hitch in his breath that he got when he'd been crying. She was pretty damned sure that this little twenty-second story didn't have a happy ending. "I went to see him and he told me that he loved me." Justin went silent at the end of these words and Daphne thought the story was over. 

"Am I missing something here or are those not the words you've been dying to hear from him outside of a sexual context for the last year?" She didn't have to wait long for the explanation or rather she didn't wait long to create an explanation of her own. 

"He um," Justin was still trailing off. 

"Wait, don't tell me. He took it back didn't he? He told you he loved you and then he took it back?" 

"Daph, would you just shut up and let me talk." Justin had gotten his breathing under control and gotten his second wind. "He didn't take it back." 

"Then why do you sound like you're delivering a eulogy?" Daphne still had yet to be quiet and let him speak but Justin thought her analogy to a eulogy was pretty well on target. Something had died today. 

"Everything's okay with Brian. I mean we have some stuff we still have to figure out but he didn't take it back." Justin's voice went really quiet again and he said, "I think he pretty much tells me he loves me every time he touches me." 

He didn't say anything for a little while and Daphne asked meekly, "Then what's wrong?" She could hear the small hitching breathing again. 

"I saw my dad today." He was crying and she could clearly hear that he'd been trying to cover the receiver when the tiny choked sobs started to escape again. "Can you just come?" 

"I'm coming right now." Daphne listened silently as Justin hung up the phone. 

 

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"Working late?" Marty Ryder stood in the hallway outside the door to Brian's office. 

"Yeah just reviewing some stuff I got from Bobby and Bradley, the 'Dimwit Doubles'." Brian had been sitting on the couch in the corner of his office when he looked up to find Ryder in the doorway. 

"Peterson account or Forsythe account?" Ryder had moved in to the office now and he tossed his jacket across the back of one of the two chairs that stood in front of Brian's desk. He'd dismissed Brian's reference to the 'Dimwit Doubles' because they, like Dan Connelly, were relations of the Board of Directors. 

"Forsythe. We have a deadline in two days because the campaign was already so far behind schedule." Brian got up and chucked the layout he'd been inspecting on to the document-covered surface of his desk. He kept his back to Ryder. He could hear the sound of a vacuum cleaner somewhere down the hall and he realized that he'd stayed late enough to greet the cleaners again. 

"You should pull anyone you need to help with your other accounts. Forsythe is your priority and you make sure to keep a handle on what Chambers, Tatum and Whitley is doing with this on their end." The man barked his instructions as though Brian had been sitting in his office at ten-thirty at night just waiting for his commandments from the mount. "I wanted to talk to you about another matter Brian and I'm glad I caught you privately." 

"What's that?" Brian was tired but he could feel his armor plating slipping into place. 

"Things have quieted down somewhat with that whole mess from before." Ryder was referring to the vigil by the reporters who tried repeatedly to interview Brian at the office and at home. "I haven't seen much of it in the last little while." Ryder hadn't seen it on the news so to him that meant that it must have gone away. "I wanted to get a handle on where things stood. Is there going to be a trial?" 

Brian turned to face him. "Not for a while. The kid's a minor, his lawyers are fighting it and trying to make a plea bargain." Brian answered the question even though he didn't want to discuss this particular subject with this man. 

The other man just nodded and inspected Brian from over the top of his wire-rimmed glasses. He took in the very obvious hickey on Brian's throat. "I'll let you get back to work." Ryder's tone was clipped and cool. "By the way I'll say it again, you did an excellent job with the Forsythe account." 

Brian offered the man a stony expression and nodded as Ryder retrieved his coat and left the office. 

 

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Vic sighed heavily and stabbed his fork into the lasagna on his plate before getting up to open the front door. 

"Hey Mr. Grassi. Is Justin upstairs?" Daphne stood in the doorway, her curls blowing slightly in the breezy weather. 

"Hello Daphne. Yeah he's been tucked away in that room for the entire evening." Daphne stepped inside and slipped her car keys into her pocket before pushing the door closed behind her. "When you go up be sure to tell him that I'm gonna eat up all this lasagna if he doesn't come for some soon." Vic called over his shoulder as he made his way back to the kitchen. Daphne smiled and moved towards the flight of stairs to her left. She wasn't looking forward to hearing what had brought on this even more depressed mood in her friend. 

"Hey you." Daphne called as she stuck her head in through the space of the half-opened door. 

"Hey." Justin was sitting on the floor in the corner of his room with his sketchpad on his lap and drawing pencil in hand. Daphne crossed the room to stand in front of him and he held the sketch up for her to see. He'd gone back to perfecting the 'Withered Rose' series he'd started when he first got out of the hospital and Daphne thought of making a little crack to lighten the situation. 

"How many times can you draw dead flowers Justin?" She was smiling as she spoke. 

"As many times as life kicks me in the teeth." Justin sighed heavily and stood up from his spot on the floor. 

"You said it was your dad? What happened?" Daphne sat down at his desk and followed him with her eyes as he put away the sketchpad and sat down at the foot of his bed. 

"My dad's an asshole. Brian told me that a long time ago and now I know for sure." He wasn't looking at her. Instead he was staring down at his hands. 

For one of the few times in their relationship, Daphne held her tongue and waited for him to finish his thought. 

"He came over while I was there packing up my room and I went down to talk to him. I wanted to see if he was still mad about everything." Justin laughed bitterly and looked up at Daphne's face. "Turns out he's still mad about everything." 

Daphne still kept silent. 

"To make a long story short, he doesn't want me to see Molly anymore and he thinks Hobbes could have done me a big favor with what he did if only he had managed to knock some sense back into my head." Justin sounded bitter and defeated. 

"He said that?" Daphne was awestruck and she listened as Justin sniffled a little. 

"He said that I gave myself to the worst bastard I could find and that I should stay out of his house and keep my diseases out there with me." Justin wiped at his eyes again. 

"Oh my God Justin." Daphne moved to sit beside him on the bed and reached for a hand that lay in his lap. 

Justin kept his eyes down and continued to speak. "He hates me Daph. My father hates me..." Justin turned to face her before continuing, "...and the worst part about it is that now I hate him too." 

The two sat quietly for a while as Justin's tears continued to drip on to both their hands. Daphne spoke first. "You should tell Brian. You said he's been through this with his dad, he'd probably be able to help." Daphne wasn't in the least bit sure that Brian would want to help let alone be able to find the compassion that Justin so obviously needed. 

"I'm not telling him anything. I can't tell him. I can't hear him tell me he told me so." Justin whispered quickly through his hitching breaths. 

"Justin this wasn't your fault..." Daphne tried to finish but he cut her off. 

"I can't. He told me to forget about my Dad. He warned me about his father and I told him he was wrong about my Dad. I told him my father would never say those same things to me. I can't tell him Daphne. I can't admit that." Justin pulled his hands free from Daphne's hold and wiped his face in his sleeves. 

 

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It was close to midnight when Brian pulled up in front of the diner. He'd been trying to call Lindsay for the last several minutes now but kept getting the machine. He gave up his efforts when he remembered her telling him that they turned off the ringer at night because it woke Gus up. Brian figured he'd hear her important information/advice some time or the other. He flipped off his seatbelt and loosened his tie before getting out of the Jeep. He could see the familiar mop of red curls through the glass as he moved up to the door. Debbie turned towards the sound of the bell as Brian stepped inside. Brian noticed that her expression changed immediately when she caught sight of his face and he sighed quietly. All he wanted was to grab a sandwich and go home to bed. 

"He's not here. I suspect he's at home crying." Debbie called to him from behind the counter. There weren't many people in the diner at that hour but the few that were there all turned to look in Brian's direction when Debbie made her loud statement. 

"What are you talking about Deb?" Brian pulled the dark blue tie from around his neck and balled it up in his fist before stuffing it into his jacket pocket. 

"I'm talking about Justin." 

"Justin? I haven't talked to Justin all day." Brian was on the defensive. 

"Doesn't matter. What you did to him, you did last night." Debbie was wagging a finger in his face now. 

Brian searched his memory for an explanation of the accusation. Last night he and Justin had played around in the shower and then fucked before falling asleep and the last time he saw Justin was when they left the loft early that morning. "I don't have a fucking clue what you're talking about." Brian furrowed his brow as he spoke. 

"I'm talking about the little show you performed last night. I heard all about your Parade O' Tricks at Woody's. I heard that you had him watching you as you went from table to bar to dartboards spreading your brand of irresistible charm." Debbie was fuming. 

Brian huffed a little and sat down at one of the stools at the counter. "That's none of your business Deb. I told you before to stay out of it where Justin was concerned." 

"Listen here Mister, Justin is my business. I know you two are holding whatever went on with you on Saturday under pretty tight wraps but I know for a fact that something's happened. You've been leading him on for months but I know that after what I said to you something finally changed Saturday night. Justin was fine when he left here with you last night but today he comes home a total wreck and I hear from the boys that you're doing it to him again. Stringing him along and playing your little head games again and not even a full week has passed since Saturday." 

Brian listened in silence to what she'd said. He and Justin had never gotten around to discussing the ground rules and now Brian thought Justin's enigmatic comments at Woody's last night were starting to sound more and more dangerous. His jaw clenched angrily as he wondered whether Justin had been stewing quietly on what had happened. 

"I'll have a turkey sandwich on whole wheat. No mayo. To go." Brian fixed an expressionless stare on her face and folded his hands on the counter in front of him. He didn't owe Justin, let alone Debbie Novotny, any explanations. 

 

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Brian let the door clang noisily on its tracks as he slid it closed behind him. He dropped the Styrofoam sandwich container and his keys on to the kitchen counter before turning towards his desk and shrugging off his jacket. He hit the message key on his machine and crossed to the bedroom. Brian listened to the background noise of voices as the building supervisor reminded him about the upcoming fumigation, his cleaning lady told him where she'd left his dry cleaning receipts and no less than four tricks called to remind him of who they were and his desire to fuck them. 

Brian hung up his jacket, kicked off his shoes and socks and undid his belt buckle. He'd been in the midst of pulling the belt from the loops on his pants when a familiar voice started to drone from the machine. 

"Brian, it's me Claire. I'm wondering if you could give me a call back when you get the message. It's nothing urgent or anything. So just call me back when you can." Brian turned towards the sound and listened to his sister's voice. It had been months since he'd last spoken to her and even longer since she'd actually called him. 

The machine clicked off and Brian crossed the space to retrieve his sandwich and a bottle of beer from the fridge. He brought the food back to the bedroom and dropped it on the platform that ran around the edge of his bed before taking off his shirt and stepping out of his pants to reveal fitted white boxers. He didn't bother to pull up the covers as he lay back against the pillows. Balancing the sandwich container on his stomach, he turned to reach the beer and twisted the cap off. His thoughts played over his day at work, Claire's reason for calling and Debbie's words at the diner, before finally settling on Justin. It was nothing less than extraordinary that there hadn't been a message from Justin on the machine and that Justin hadn't called him at work even once over the course of the day. Something was definitely wrong and Brian was becoming more and more angry at the thought of what it had to be. 

He'd eaten half of the sandwich and finished his beer by the time he made his decision about what he wanted to do with the rest of the night. Brian reached for the phone on the stand by his bed and walked back out into the living room. He crossed to the desk and flipped the replay button before skipping through the messages to randomly select a partner for the evening. Brian dialed the number as the trick's voice dictated it from the machine and he listened as a sleepy sounding man picked up at the other end of the line. 

"It's Brian," He paused and listened as the man placed his name and sat up in bed. "Be here in twenty minutes or don't bother coming." The man took down the address and Brian hung up. 

He'd been sitting on the couch staring into space when the buzzer sounded. Brian glanced at his watch before removing it and setting it on the table in front of him. It had been exactly fourteen minutes since he'd hung up with the man. Brian was still clad only in his white boxers as he lethargically moved to answer the intercom. 

"Top floor." He released the lock on the front door of the building and flipped the lock on the door to the loft. He crossed the room to the stand behind his desk and retrieved a baggie of pills. He couldn't remember what drug it was specifically but he was sure it would do the trick. 'Do the trick. All puns intended,' Brian smiled to himself as he dry swallowed two of the pills. 

The man was knocking at the door now and Brian slid it back on the tracks. The guy wasn't even vaguely familiar but thankfully he was attractive. Brian stood aside and let the man pass him to enter the loft. 

"Nice place." Brian didn't respond to the compliment. 

The guy was a bit shorter than Brian but still tall by ordinary standards. He had dark wavy hair and light gray eyes. Brian noticed his eyes. Most people assumed he just went for cock size or the shape of a guy's ass when selecting his partners. In reality, Brian's criteria were more specific than that. He could tell instantly whether he was dealing with a top or a bottom and beyond this detail, his partner needed to be some type of attractive and have something unique about him that Brian could focus on. There had been guys with great lips, amazing skin or beautiful hands. There had even been one man with the thickest blackest lashes Brian had ever seen. He'd made that guy keep his eyes closed the entire time they were fucking so that he could look at the lashes lying against the guy's skin. Tonight this trick would have to keep his eyes open so that Brian could see the gray. Outside of this feature, there would be nothing exceptional about this experience. 

"Want some?" Brian held the baggie up for the man's inspection. 

"Is it E?" The guy was moving in to take the bag from his hand. 

"I don't know." Brian replied as the trick shook a pill into his palm. The man shrugged his shoulders and popped the pill into his mouth. 

"Water?" 

Brian looked at his eyes for another few seconds before moving off to retrieve a bottle from the refrigerator. "Come up when you're done." Brian handed the man the bottle and turned to climb the steps to his bedroom. The glass panes around the room were open and Brian had a clear view of the man from where he lay against the pillows on his bed. The guy downed the entire bottle of water before turning to find Brian staring at him from the bedroom. Brian watched as he peeled off his shirt and dropped it over the counter before reaching for the buttons on his pants. The man was naked by the time he joined Brian in the room. Apparently in his haste to be on time, the trick hadn't bothered with putting on underwear. 

Brian watched as the other man crawled across the bed to where he was lying and dropped himself by Brian's side. The guy was moving to tug down his underwear and Brian lifted his hips to allow him room to pull them off. Brian threaded his fingers through the dark hair as the other man settled his face at his groin and started sucking at his cock. He wouldn't be able to see the guy's eyes for the next little while so Brian closed his own eyes and focused on the memory. 

 

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It was only three-thirty in the afternoon but Brian was ready to crash. He'd spent the night fucking and had managed to top off his lack of sleep with the client meeting from hell. Brian dropped his briefcase beside his chair and hit the call button for Cynthia at her desk. 

"You rang?" Cynthia's voice hummed through the line. 

"Get the fuck in here." Brian snapped before cutting the connection. 

He was tearing off his jacket when Cynthia arrived at the door and she caught it in mid-air as Brian whipped it across the room meaning for it to land somewhere near his couch. Cynthia straightened out the soft material of the black jacket and admired the label. Prada certainly did make a very nice cashmere and silk blend. She arranged the suit jacket carefully on the back of one of the office chairs that stood in front of the desk and took a seat in the other. Brian was fuming and now he was attacking the keys to his voicemail. 

"I asked you to put three things into my briefcase before I left for the Peterson meeting. I asked for the Client Services Report. I asked for a copy of all the work in progress to date. I asked for my notes from the two previous meetings. Can you guess which one of these three things didn't make it into my briefcase before I left?" Brian had been emphasizing the word 'three' as he spoke. He leaned back in his chair and studied her face as his voicemail messages played in the background. Cynthia kept silent as Lindsay's voice and then Justin's, filled the air of the room. She spoke up only after the messages had stopped playing. 

"You asked me for the Client Services stuff and the work in progress. You didn't ask for your notes." She kept her tone firm yet non-confrontational. 

"I asked you for my notes from the two previous meetings." Brian spoke through gritted teeth. Whatever had transpired at the Peterson meeting, she could obviously tell that he thought it would have gone better had he had the notes. 

Cynthia repeated her words again. Over the years she'd learned first hand to not make mistakes where Brian was concerned and to not mince words when it came to explaining something. If you were going to tell Brian that you didn't do something that he clearly planned on stringing you up for, then you'd better not qualify your explanations with "I think I did..." or "I'm pretty sure I did..." Brian continued to look at her with eyes that were dancing mad and she continued to take note of the throbbing vein in his forehead. He dropped his eyes first and Cynthia breathed an audible sigh of relief. 

"Lindsay called two more times besides that time," Cynthia gestured towards the machine. "And Justin called through to my line once." Her interrogation was over and Cynthia slipped back into professional mode before quickly slipping away. 

Brian followed her with his eyes. He was only pretty sure he'd asked for his notes. 

He turned to the telephone and hit the speed dial to Justin's cell. He had no intention of calling Lindsay back. He'd decided this morning that he wasn't going to let any advice from Lindsay deter him from the talk he planned to have with Justin when next he saw him. 

"Hello." Justin knew who his caller was and pushed as much energy as he could muster into that one word. He'd been reluctant to face Brian, afraid that the man would be able to smell the defeat radiating off him. 

"You called me." Brian could hear the sound of street traffic in the background. Justin was outside. 

"Yeah. Um. It's just that I... we didn't talk yesterday and I just wanted to touch base." He'd been rehearsing an offhand explanation for why he hadn't made his usual three to four calls to Brian over the course of the previous day and still hadn't come up with one better than the one he'd given Deb. "When I got back from my parents' place I was beat so I just went straight to bed." 

Brian was silent. He took in the stutter in Justin's speech and decided immediately that the other man was lying. "So that's why you didn't call me? You were tired." Brian was back into the inquisitor mode Cynthia had just been treated to. 

"Yeah. Like I...like I said I was tired and I went to bed. But I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get together tonight. I could meet you at the loft later." Justin didn't sound too thrilled at the prospect and he spoke these last few sentences too quickly. This pricked Brian's suspicions even more. 

"Come if you want but I won't be back till late." Brian thought back to Debbie's words on the connection between Justin's state of mind and his tricking at Woody's. 

"That's okay, I'll let myself in and I'll wait up. I can make some dinner," Justin tried for a little laugh before continuing, "I haven't done that in a while." The laughter sounded forced and fake but he'd at least gotten the stuttering under control. 

"Whatever. Like I said you'll be eating alone." Brian listened to the noise of the traffic for another few seconds before he cut him off. 

He turned back to face the riot of papers on his desk and tried to focus on the several tasks at hand. A somewhat frightened but determined looking Cynthia slipped into his office again. She brought a large document box around to his side of the desk and deposited it on the floor beside him. 

"It's the last of the stuff from the L.A. marketing department for the Forsythe meeting tomorrow." She retreated quickly leaving Brian to his foul mood and his pile of work. 

 

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Justin clicked off his phone and turned to climb the steps of the low-rise building that housed his therapist's office. He slipped the little phone back into his backpack and stubbed out his cigarette before opening the door to the office building. He had a four o'clock appointment with Dr. Flaherty and he was about fifteen minutes early. Her receptionist recognized him and offered him a wide white smile before offering him a seat in the waiting area. Justin took in the other patients seated in the room and wondered bitterly if any of their lives were as fucked up as his was. 

The woman sitting across from him kept looking up and then averting her eyes whenever he caught her looking. Justin buried himself in a magazine that seemed to be devoted entirely to golf and tried to pretend to not notice the attention. The woman was still looking at him and Justin thought she looked vaguely familiar. He dropped his eyes again and disappeared into an article on perfecting golf swings until he heard the receptionist calling out his name. He glanced at the woman one more time. She was still pretending not to look at him from behind the long brownish hair that fell across her eyes. Justin pulled at his bag and walked towards the offices on the far side of the room. He stepped into Dr. Flaherty's office and turned to close the door behind him. In the split second before the door closed completely, Justin was almost positive that he'd heard the receptionist call out for 'Ms. Kinney.' He was about to open the door again when Dr. Flaherty spoke up behind him. 

"Justin. Come on in and have a seat." The smiling woman was ushering him towards the spot on the sofa he always occupied during these visits. "Beautiful day today huh?" The woman was obviously in a very good mood. 

"Yeah. The wind is taking some of the heat off." Chit chatting about weather was as easy a way as ever to start any conversation. 

"You're absolutely right." The woman was settling herself into her chair now. "So how are you doing today?" 

Justin shrugged his shoulders. Today he had an actual issue that he wanted to discuss but that fact didn't bring him any closer to mouthing the words. 

"Is there anything on your mind that you wanted to start out with?" He may not have responded with words but Dr. Flaherty was picking up on his body language. 

Justin was staring at his hands and he reached out to retrieve one of the foil wrapped candies sitting in the bowl on the coffee table in front of him. Dr. Flaherty in turn made another neatly written note of his distraction. "I saw my parents yesterday." Justin kept his eyes down as he spoke. "I saw my father actually. I haven't seen him in a while." He was whispering. 

"How did it go?" They had talked about his father's reactions to finding out he was gay and the doctor was well aware that this was a sore subject for Justin. 

"It went horribly actually. I don't think I'm gonna talk to him again." Justin made eye contact with her for the first time since he'd come in. 

"What happened?" 

Justin scrubbed a hand through his hair and spoke in one breath. "My father hates me. My father would rather me dead than gay. My father considers everything that I've been through in the last little while as being a wasted effort to bring me back to my senses." He didn't feel like crying anymore. Instead he felt incredibly tired. 

"Is that what he said to you?" 

"Yeah," Justin huffed. "He doesn't want to have anything to do with me and he doesn't want me around my sister. Every one of them feels the same way, my grandparents, my aunts and my uncles, all of them. Every one of them hates my guts. My mother tries to make excuses but I can't hide from it anymore. They don't want anything to do with me just because of this." Justin gestured towards himself as he said this last sentence. "They all think I deserved what happened to me." 

"You know that's not true Justin." The woman spoke calmly. 

"It doesn't matter what I know." He was whispering again. "It's what they think and...I...it doesn't feel good to know that." Justin dropped the candy back into the bowl and leaned back into the cushions as he finished speaking. 

"Who've you talked to about this?" The woman leaned forward and she rested her elbows on her knees. 

"Just my friend Daphne. My Mom...she tried but...I just can't face her right now." Justin's voice trailed off. 

"Did you talk to Brian about this?" The last Brian event that Justin had briefed her on was the talk between he and Brian that had driven the man to his knees in front of his toilet bowl. Justin could still remember watching Brian walk away from him on wobbly legs and hearing him retching in the bathroom. 

"No and I'm not going to." Justin spoke firmly. 

"So there still hasn't been any resolution to what you asked of Brian?" The doctor sat back in her chair. 

"A lot's happened with me and Brian since I was here last but I don't wanna talk about that now. This is different and I just don't need him to know about this." He was pretty adamant about that last point and Dr. Flaherty picked up on the underlying reason. 

"You're concerned about what he would say." 

Justin just looked up at her from beneath his lashes. When this woman was ready to, she could surprise him by going right to the heart of the matter. "I don't wanna talk about this to anyone actually, it's not specific to Brian. It's just private." That statement was a load of bullshit if ever he'd heard one. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it; he didn't think he could face any of Brian's sarcasm or dry wit when it came to this particular subject. 

 

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"What the fuck is the matter with you?" Brian tossed a throw pillow at Justin's head as he rounded the bed and walked towards the bathroom. Justin ducked it easily and threw it back in Brian's direction. 

"Nothing's the matter with me." Justin dropped himself back against the pillows and pulled the covers over his hips. This was a new record. This was the first time ever that he could honestly say that he hadn't enjoyed the sex he and Brian had just had. Sure Brian had made him cum and Justin was pretty sure that Brian got off, but Justin just wasn't into it tonight. He hoped that Brian hadn't noticed. 

"If nothing's wrong with you then what the hell do you call that?" Brian stood naked in the doorway between the bedroom and the bathroom. He was brushing his teeth and he was practically foaming at the mouth. 

"What are you talking about?" Justin had pulled his knees up to his chest as he sat with his back against the pillows. 

"I'm talking about that shit you just pulled in bed. What were you doing, 'laying there and thinking of England'?" Brian spat before turning back into the bathroom and spitting for real. 

'Shit,' Justin thought as he waited for Brian to come back into the room. The man had noticed his lack luster performance. 

"I mean if you didn't wanna fuck, you could have just said so." Brian was back and he was snatching clothes from his closet and from his dresser. Justin watched with increasing alarm as he pulled out a pair of jeans and stepped into them. 

"Where are you going?" Justin asked. Brian was pulling on a t-shirt now and Justin continued his watch as Brian grabbed his boots from the back of the closet. "Brian, where are you going?" Justin readdressed his question to Brian's back. The other man was pulling on his boots in sharp jerking movements and Justin noticed that he hadn't even bothered to tie the laces let alone put on socks. 

"Out." Brian huffed. 

"Out where? It's after two." 

"Go to bed Justin." Brian shot over his shoulder as he stomped down the steps and into the living room. Justin watched through the blinds as Brian grabbed his car keys from his desk and pulled on his leather jacket. 

"Brian, where are you going?" Justin stood up pulling the bed sheets with him. He stood in the doorway of the bedroom and watched as Brian bent to tie his previously overlooked laces. 

Brian stood up and offered him a menacing look. "You can't fuck so I'll find someone who can." With a loud crash of the door behind him Brian was gone. 

Justin leaned heavily against the doorframe of the bedroom and looked across the empty loft to where Brian had just made his exit. That had definitely gone badly. Justin crossed the space to the door before locking it and setting the alarm. He'd wait for Brian to come back and he'd use the time to figure out just what he would tell him of what was going on. Justin pulled the sheet around his shoulders and dumped himself into one of the armchairs in front of the TV. He found the remote and flipped the television on. He figured he would watch a few hours of mindless infomercials while waiting for Brian to finish fucking off the outrage and anger he'd felt at Justin's callous insult to his manhood. 

 

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Brian stabbed the key into the ignition and turned it violently. The engine roared to life under his pressure and the sound only served to feed the rage that the man was already feeling. That had never happened to him even once in all the years he'd been fucking. Even when he was green at the experience he'd never ceased to enthrall his partners and own them in bed. Tonight was nothing less than an insult. Justin had lay there and uttered what passed for a moan every now and then, all the while performing a poorly executed attempt at faking it. 

Justin had been awake and waiting for him in bed when he finally made it back to the loft at around one. All the lights were off except for the blue lights above the bed. Justin had been reading and from what Brian could tell as he entered the bedroom Justin wasn't wearing anything under the gray sheets piled low against his hips. Brian remembered being too tired to talk or to eat but not too tired to fuck. He was horny and tense and he decided that their impending conversation could wait for the light of day. Justin had watched him undress with what Brian had mistakenly identified at the time as enthusiasm. He couldn't have missed the mark more if he'd tried and he wasn't exaggerating when he described Justin as having just lain there. 

Brian had wanted him from behind and Justin had obliged, opting to face the pillows rather than face Brian. Things had progressed ordinarily enough with Brian kissing and rimming him before preparing them both. He had entered Justin slowly, kissing and licking at his back while stroking him in time with the thrusts. Brian did the fucking and when Justin barely moved or made a sound, he'd immediately noticed the disparity from Justin's usual reactions in bed. Brian had watched him closely before increasing the tempo of his movements and fucking him harder. For this added effort, Justin finally managed a disgraceful series of half-grunts and moans before ejaculating into Brian's fist. Brian didn't cum. He hadn't even been close. 

Brian slammed his fist against the steering wheel and took off with a peel of tires. He didn't have any idea where he was going. 

The Jeep followed his oft-repeated midnight route and he ended up on Liberty. He drove slowly down the strip and parked in front of Woody's. The bar wasn't closed yet but Brian knew the crowd inside would be pretty thin. The prospects would either be too drunk to stand up or the 'Bargain Basement' types he'd chided Ted and Emmett about. He could have gone to a club and picked someone up there but Brian just wasn't in the mood for the noise or the crowd. He'd been sitting in the Jeep staring down at his keys and trying to decide what to do when he heard the tap on the passenger side window. Brian looked over at the man outside the window and sized up the situation instantly. He gave the man the finger and turned back to look at his keys. The stranger smiled and walked around the Jeep to stand outside of the driver's side window. 

The window was open and Brian cast a blank look at the man before addressing him, "I don't buy street whores so fuck off." 

"I'd do you for free baby." 

Brian's first thought was of the fact that nothing was for free. The guy was young and didn't quite have that used up look in his eyes yet. Brian took note of the slurred speech and figured this little Twinkie was tweaked. Brian shook his head and turned back to look down the street again. The guy turned his back and walked a few feet away from the car. Brian could see what he was doing and his eyes followed the display. Twinkie was showing off the merchandize and he gave Brian a good view of a tight round ass before turning back to face him. "So?" Twinkie was standing outside the window again. 

Brian weighed his options and thought dismissively, 'Why not.' He laughed to himself when he thought of what the owners of Woody's would think to find out he'd developed his own personal 'drive thru' window when it came to picking up tricks from their establishment. He flipped the lock on the passenger door and waited for the guy to get in before peeling off into traffic again. 

"So where are we going?" Twinkie had settled himself into his seat and buckled up his seatbelt like a good little boy. 

Brian didn't acknowledge the fact that he'd spoken. He drove a few more blocks and turned off on to a side street. There were houses on this street but all the good people of the world seemed to be safely tucked in for the night. Brian let the engine idle for a few minutes before turning it off. He turned to face Twinkie and then leaned over him to reached into the glove compartment. 

"Put it on me and then blow me." Brian handed Twinkie the condom before reclining his seat and undoing his fly. 

The man set to work quickly and Brian focused on his view of the streetlights outside the windshield as he felt the man's lips close around his cock. Though tweaked, Twinkie was a master of his trade. He alternated between deep sucking and just flicking his tongue over the head of Brian's cock, all the while squeezing at Brian's balls. Brian came quickly and pushed the man's head away from his groin as soon as he did. He grabbed at the box of tissues on the back seat and pulled off the condom. Brian wiped himself clean while Twinkie set about checking his hair in the vanity mirror on the sun visor. 

"Can you take me back to the strip?" Twinkie asked as Brian started the engine again. Brian glanced ahead of them and noticed someone walking a very large dog. The person was just up the street from them and walking away from where they were parked. The man had to have walked by the car in the last few minutes and Brian didn't have tinted windows. Brian reached into his wallet and threw a twenty on to Twinkie's lap before responding. 

"Whatever." It was the first time that Brian had addressed Twinkie since the sex had begun. 

 

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The loft still was dark when he got back. All the lights were still off except for the blue lights above the bed. This light was only casting enough illumination to create shadows in all the corners of the space. Brian could see that Justin wasn't in the bed and he figured that he'd probably gone back to Debbie's. It was only four days into this new phase of their relationship and already the sex had gone to hell in a hand basket. Brian dismissed that part of his thoughts that said he was overreacting and he tossed his jacket into the chair closest to him. He crossed the floor to the steps of his bedroom and moved to climb the stairs. He was pulling his t-shirt over his head as he went. 

"Brian." Justin spoke quietly from somewhere behind him. Brian let the shirt drop back against his skin and reached for the lamp on the shelf closest to him. The new light revealed Justin sitting in one of the armchairs in front of the darkened television. He was still wearing the sheet toga that Brian had left him in. 

"I thought you'd left." Brian moved across the room and stood behind him. 

"I was going to but I wanted to talk to you first." Justin was still speaking very softly and he didn't bother to turn around to address his words to Brian's face. 

"Look, I told you exactly how things would be before all this started ..." Brian stopped speaking when Justin cut him off. 

"This isn't about you." His voice was a little louder and the increased volume allowed Brian to hear the defeated tone with which Justin was speaking. 

"The fuck it isn't. We talked about this and you said you could handle it. You know that I fuck whoever I want whenever I want and you said you could handle that. Only now it's not even a week later and you're acting like some betrayed little housewife. What the fuck do you call that shit you pulled earlier? Because if that's what you're planning to do from now on you're in for a fucking rude awakening." Brian was speaking through gritted teeth and he watched as Justin leaned forward and put his face in his hands. Justin's shoulders were shaking a bit and the sheet slipped off and pooled low on his back. Brian couldn't hear him but he could tell he was crying. Justin had never done a very good job of hiding his emotions and his allergy stories were flimsy at best. Brian sighed heavily and moved around to stand in front of him. "You're only proving my point with the fucking crocodile tears Justin." 

Justin rubbed at his eyes and looked up at him. "Would you just shut up and listen to me?" He turned his face into his palms again before pulling the sheets back up around his shoulders. He'd been resting his feet on a small ottoman that stood in front of the chair and now he pushed it out meaning for Brian to take a seat. Brian looked at him for a few more seconds before sitting down. He did so unwillingly having figured that his best offensive and defensive postures came when he was in a standing position. 

Justin kept his head down as he began to speak. "I don't want you to say that you told me so because I don't think that I could handle that right now. So I'm asking you not to say it and not to say anything bad about him." Justin swallowed hard and wiped at his eyes with the sheets before continuing. "I saw my father yesterday." Brian's jaw clenched at the mention of Craig Taylor and he responded the only way he knew how. 

"What did that asshole have to say?" He hadn't made Justin any promises but when Justin looked up at him again the look he gave Brian reflected his disapproval. 

"Don't Brian. Don't." Justin met his eyes with a moist yet determined glare. For a few seconds the two men just sat quietly across from each other. "My father said..." Justin had bent his head to wipe at his tears again. "He said...some stuff...and everything you said to me before about your Dad...you were right. It's just...it's just over and I didn't think he would..." His voice was cracking now and Brian watched as the tears continued to roll down his face. "Shit...look at me crying like some little faggot over all this bullshit." Justin grabbed at the sheets and moved to stand up. He was furiously wiping at his tears now. 

Brian watched Justin pulling at the sheets for a few seconds before he reached out and pushed him to sit back down in the armchair. "What did he say?" Brian forced each word to pass through his tightly clenched jaw. 

"It doesn't matter." Justin was shaking his head. 

"What the fuck did he say?" Brian could taste blood in his mouth and he realized he'd bitten into his cheek at some point in the last few minutes. 

Justin opened his mouth to speak and the memory smarted against his ears again. "He told me that I deserved it." The words rushed out in one shallow breath. Justin wasn't crying anymore. Now his expression looked lost and broken and Brian instinctively knew that something might have changed about him for good. 

Justin kept his eyes down and continued to pick at the sheets that lay pooled in his lap. He'd been studying the weave of the fabric again and he looked over to focus his eyes on Brian's jean clad knees as the man sat quietly across from him. 

There wasn't any movement in the loft for a little while until Brian exhaled slowly and stood up. He was walking away from Justin now and he moved to stand by the windows. He remembered his own father's words and that same urge to punch something or destroy something or to hurt someone washed over him again. He'd never known what it was like to have Jack as a father so he'd never had to mourn the loss the way Justin obviously felt the need to mourn the loss of his father. Brian looked through the gauzy drapes and let his eyes focus on the street below him. He could see the expression on Jack's face when he'd gone to him and finally told him the truth. Brian had admitted to himself that when he'd finally bared his secret for his father to see and for his father to judge, he'd expected the worst but he'd actually hoped for something else. He didn't know what that something else was and Brian told himself that he hadn't been surprised when Jack responded true to form. 

Craig Taylor thought his son had received his just reward for a 'lifestyle' that involved loving Brian Kinney. Three Grand Mal seizures, a two day coma, a permanent scar and not to mention the continuing headaches that Justin did his best to hide from everyone, were apparently the going rate for wanting to dance with the person you loved. Brian stood silently at the window and listened to Justin's wet breathing and stifled sobs behind him. In that moment he wanted to bash in Craig Taylor's face as much as he had wanted to bash in Jack Kinney's. Justin was speaking behind him again. 

"I was gonna tell you and then go back to Deb's but do you mind if I just stay here tonight? I'll sleep out here if you're still mad about..." His voice trailed off as he gestured towards the bedroom and the earlier non-events that had taken place there. 

When Brian finally turned away from the window he crossed the room slowly and stood next to the chair where Justin still sat. He let his hand find Justin's shoulder and he touched him lightly. Apologies just didn't roll off his tongue very easily and Brian hoped to communicate his remorse through the touch. Justin turned into the contact and then began his muted crying again. Brian squeezed the shoulder under his hand and sighed quietly. When he spoke his voice was a deep rumble. 

"Come to bed." 

Brian waited as Justin gathered the sheets around himself again and stood, before he flipped off the lamp and followed Justin's shuffling steps up to the bedroom. The younger man dropped the sheets he'd been wearing in a pile beside the bed and pulled the duvet up around himself as he lay down. He turned on to his side and watched as Brian kicked off his boots and dropped his shirt and jeans in front of the closet. Brian got into the bed and lay back against the pillows before turning to face a quiet Justin. Justin held his stare and Brian watched as silent tears continued to drip from his eyes and run across the bridge of his nose before spilling over and pooling in the fabric of the pillow below Justin's head. Brian took in the soaked eyelashes and the reddened eyes and skin and he listened to the wet labored breathing before moving a hand out to touch Justin's arm and then shoulder again. In the blue from the light above them, Justin's skin had taken on a glow and his wet eyes reflected the color of the room. Justin turned his face into the pillow as a loud sob quaked through him. 

"I know I...shouldn't...be fucking crying about this." 

Brian understood what he'd said even though the words were muffled by the pillow and by the shaking in his voice. He didn't have any words with which to respond to Justin's condition. He didn't know what he could say outside of the things that Justin didn't want to hear. He moved his hand up to the back of Justin's neck and he squeezed. Moving closer, Brian pulled Justin towards him until Justin's head was resting against his chest. Brian rolled on to his back and hooked both arms around Justin's shaking frame before moving one hand to stroke at the hair at the base of Justin's skull. Justin molded himself against Brian's body and held on tight. Brian listened to Justin's stifled sobs and felt the tears on his skin. Brian's rage continued to build and he didn't say anything until Justin stopped crying. 

"He had no right." Brian had fixed his eyes on the ceiling above them as he spoke his words into Justin's hair. This was the one and only explanation he would ever give for what he would end up doing to Craig Taylor. 

 

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"Brian...Brian...Brian wake up." Justin rolled on to his stomach and managed to pull himself from under the weight of both Brian's right arm and right leg. The man beside Justin lay on his side in the middle of the bed. He only stirred slightly with Justin's movements. At some point during the few hours that they'd been asleep Brian had managed to crowd Justin into a sixteen-inch wide spot on the edge of the bed and had wrapped himself around Justin's frame. Brian had abandoned his side of the bed in exchange for sleeping spooned against the body beside him. Justin touched Brian's shoulder lightly and the man immediately started to come to life. "Come on Brian. Wake up." 

"What?" Brian's voice was a hoarse whisper as the fingers of his right hand unconsciously searched out the new location of Justin's body. The fingers closed around Justin's left arm and stopped moving upon finding their target. 

"The alarm didn't go off. You gotta get up." Justin was squinting into the light of the room and Brian still hadn't managed to open his eyes on the new day. Brian lay on his side and pressed his face deeper into the pillow beneath his head. Justin took in the sleep-flushed skin, the bed hair and the swollen lips and waited for Brian to fully wake up. Brian was quiet for a little while as if processing the fact that Justin was talking to him as well as processing the things that Justin was saying. 

Grayish green eyes opened suddenly. Eureka. All the light bulbs had gone on. 

"Shit. What time is it?" Brian cursed under his breath and sat up as the first of the light started to sting at his sleep-deprived eyes. Between the trick he'd called over on Tuesday night and last night's events with Justin, he'd managed to get a total of five hours sleep over these two nights combined. 

"It's five after eight." Justin turned to look at the little clock on the stand by the bed for confirmation of his report. The alarm should have gone off at seven thirty but neither of them remembered to reset the timer the night before. 

"Fuck." Brian rolled back on to his side and leapt out of the bed, almost killing himself as he tripped on the clothes he'd left on the floor. "I'm supposed to be out of here by eight-thirty." 

"You have a meeting this morning?" Justin scrubbed his fingers through his sleep-spiked hair and called to Brian as the naked man stumbled his way out of the room. 

"Forsythe. Nine-thirty." Brian's voice trailed off as he disappeared into the bathroom. 

Justin barely took note of what Brian had said as he fell against the warm sheets and closed his eyes again. He could hear Brian filling the basin with water for his shave and he could hear Brian turning up the spray in the shower. Justin smiled sleepily to himself as he thought about how exactly it was that Brian was going to manage to shave at the basin and stand in the shower at the same time. 

"Justin." Brian was back in the room and tearing through his closet. Apparently his multi-tasking was to include not only showering and shaving at the same time, but also picking out his clothes for the day. 

"Huh." Justin had already started to fall back to sleep. He'd reburied himself in the pile of sheets and pillows that littered the bed. 

"Coffee. Get up and get me some coffee." Brian was gone again and Justin could hear the door to the shower slam shut. 

"Pleeeeease." Justin corrected Brian's manners in a teasing voice as he slowly tore himself from the soft warm comfort of the bed. 

Brian was already back in the bedroom and tracking wet prints across the floor by the time Justin managed to drag his naked body to the kitchen and set the coffee pot. Justin pulled out the tall chrome travel cup Brian resorted to whenever he didn't have time to stop for his morning latte and set it on the counter. He leaned against the counter and watched Brian in the bedroom. He'd learned to stay out of Brian's way and out of Brian's line of sight whenever the other man was in a rush to get ready for work. Brian had a routine and it seemed to work well for him in light of the number of 'mornings after' that he tore out of the loft like a bat out of hell. 

"Why don't I smell any coffee?" Brian huffed from the room. He'd managed to shower and wash his hair and he was pulling on his underwear and pants now. Justin could see that Brian had forgotten to shave. 

When his sleep-addled mind finally registered Brian's comment about the coffee, Justin scrubbed his face in his palms and turned to look at the coffee pot. "Shit." He realized that he hadn't put any crystals into the filter. "It'll just be another minute or two..." He quickly remedied his mistake while throwing cautious looks back in Brian's direction. "...Oh King Brian of Kinney." Justin was smiling as he muttered his statement under his breath. 

Brian disappeared into the bathroom again, presumably to shave, and Justin retrieved a pair of his jeans from Brian's dresser before moving to curl up into a ball on the sofa. After a little while he could hear Brian come back out into the room behind him and from the fact that Brian wasn't swearing Justin assumed that he hadn't cut himself shaving. Justin could smell coffee now but not even Brian's frenetic movements or this new smell managed to rouse him from his sleepy state. 

Whereas Brian could start to wake up at the slightest sound or movement, Justin was best described as able to sleep like the dead. He could sleep through any amount of noise and he could be counted on to not wake up until a full eight hours had passed since his head had hit the pillow. He didn't know why he'd managed to wake up before Brian this morning but he did know why it was that he'd managed to fall asleep so soundly the night before. Justin could remember that Brian had been the one to drop off first leaving him to just lie there quietly and take in the strength of the arms around him. He'd felt like shit from the minute he left his parents' house on Tuesday afternoon and he hadn't slept a wink on Tuesday night. Justin remembered that all that had changed last night. His father's words still stung but he'd managed to tell Brian what had happened to him and he hadn't been rewarded with sarcasm or cold wit. He'd instead been rewarded with feeling Brian holding him tight all through the night. Even in his sleepy thoughts Justin had to wonder again about just how much people, including himself, could sometimes underestimate Brian Kinney. 

"Justin. Did you fucking go back to sleep?" Brian dropped his suit jacket across the back of the sofa and let half of it land heavily on Justin's face. Brian was at the counter now and he was pouring the contents of the coffee pot and half a container of sugar into his cup. Justin glanced down at his watch. It was eight thirty-six. 

"It's after eight-thirty." Justin called to Brian as he sat up on the couch and leaned his face into his palms. He turned to watch Brian over his shoulder as Brian pulled on his suit jacket and completed the masterpiece. He'd managed to shower, shave, do his hair and dress in about twenty-five minutes and he looked perfect. Brian's hair was still a little wet but it fell into place neatly with the slightly shorter cut he'd been sporting for the last little while. He was wearing a wine colored shirt and tie under a deep gray suit and Justin watched as Brian readjusted the cuffs of his shirt under the jacket. Justin's thoughts had been floating over Brian's movements for a few seconds when he suddenly got the sense that he too was being studied. He moved his eyes up to find that Brian was looking at him as he continued to adjust the suit. 

"What're you doing today?" Brian was putting his wallet and keys into his breast pocket now and he turned away from Justin momentarily. 

"I'm just gonna hang out at Deb's. I don't have to work today." Justin shrugged his shoulders and stood up. He moved over to the counter and set about wiping up the coffee spill that Brian had left to harden into a stubborn stain. "I'll clean up the stuff from dinner last night and then I'll lock up." He'd made something for Brian's dinner the evening before but on Brian's warning he'd eaten and put away the leftovers before the other man arrived at home. Justin still had several pots soaking in the sink and he intended to clean those up before he left. Brian was studying Justin again as he returned to the counter to retrieve his steaming cup. 

"Why don't you stay here?" Brian lifted his cup and took a sip all the while keeping his eyes on Justin's face. Brian was wearing his trademark poker face and Justin was starting feel a little uncomfortable under the scrutiny. Justin hesitated before answering. From the look on Brian's face he wasn't sure whether or not Brian actually wanted him to stay. 

Behind the poker face Brian had been innocently scanning through his 'to do list' for the day and he'd decided that if his day went as planned he'd be back at the loft by six. He'd even thought about taking the day off tomorrow. In the split second before Justin answered his question, Brian's thoughts flashed on what Justin had said about Craig Taylor and he remembered Debbie's assumptions. His expression hardened a bit with these thoughts and Justin noticed that instantly. 

"Um. It's okay. I could go home if you want." Justin stopped wiping at the spill and concentrated on reading Brian's changing expressions. 

"You said you're not doing anything today." Brian shrugged, "You can stay if you want to but it's up to you." He turned away from the counter and grabbed his briefcase and cell phone before moving towards the door. He was pulling the door open now and he called over his shoulder. "Come lock the door and make sure you set the alarm when you leave." 

"I'll stay here today." Despite the unreadable expression Justin had decided that Brian wouldn't have asked him to stay unless he meant it. Justin hurried towards the door. From Brian's last comment, it was obvious that he'd apparently been ready to revoke the invitation before Justin had actually answered it. 

Brian turned to look at him briefly from where he stood in the hallway outside the loft. Justin still thought his expression was undecipherable. He stood quietly in the doorway as Brian turned again and hit the button for the elevator. Justin listened to the key tones from the phone as Brian dialed a number and he listened to the whine of the elevator reaching the floor. Brian settled the phone at his ear and Justin was about to lock the door when Brian started speaking. 

"Hang on a second." Brian wasn't talking to Justin but he was walking back towards the entrance to the loft. Justin thought Brian had forgotten something and he stood aside in the doorway to let Brian pass. Instead of going into the loft Brian stopped in front of him and leaned in. Justin opened his mouth and accepted the kiss before he'd even realized what was happening. It was slow and light and in complete contrast to the speed of Brian's movements since they'd gotten up. Justin could smell Brian's cologne and he could feel the hair that fell across Brian's forehead tickling at his face. Justin reached up to cup his hands to the sides of Brian's face. The man's cheeks were warm and smooth and soft. Justin felt every inch of his skin flush in that instant. "Later." Brian breathed against his lips before pulling away. 

Justin echoed his word and watched as Brian lifted the gate to the elevator and stepped inside. Brian had been rolling the gate back into place when Justin stepped back into the loft and closed the door. 

 

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"I'm running late. I need you to cover till I get there." It was ten minutes to nine when Brian threw his briefcase on to the passenger seat and climbed into the Jeep. He tossed an empty condom package that had been lying on his seat out the window. It was no doubt a remnant from the blowjob he'd bought the night before. Brian slipped his coffee into the cup holder and stabbed the key into the ignition before pulling on his sunglasses. 

"You overslept huh? Didn't get into bed early enough or was it that you were in bed early but just didn't go to sleep?" Cynthia mocked as she sat down behind her desk. She knew her words would only serve to piss Brian off but as long as he was still all the way across town, the distance between them would offer her some protection. 

Brian clenched his jaw as he listened to her taunts. "Are you fucking done?" Brian pulled out into traffic with a loud screech of his tires. Cynthia heard the sound clearly across the line and smiled at how predictable her boss could be. 

"What should I tell them?" She pulled out a note pad and prepared to take down Brian's demands. 

"Don't tell them shit. They'll wait. Just chat them up and get them comfortable." Brian took both hands off the wheel and balanced the phone in the crook of his neck as he lit a cigarette. 

"Should I give Forsythe the new product layouts and all the research information?" 

"No. Let that wait till I get there." Brian slammed on his brakes and swerved violently as a car suddenly pulled out from the curb and cut him off. "Motherfucker!" Brian yelled as he changed lanes to avoid hitting the other car. If looks could kill the woman behind the wheel would have been dead and in her grave within the week. "Cunt. Where the fuck did you learn to drive?" Brian was still yelling and cursing at the woman as he eyed her through his rearview mirror. The cigarette had managed to cling at the corner of his lips the entire time he was yelling at the woman. 

"You still there?" Cynthia called across the line again. She'd grown tired of listening to Brian's elegant descriptions of the other driver. 

"You shut the fuck up." Brian snapped at her as he slipped the phone into the connector on the dash and flipped on the hands free feature. 

"Well excuse me." Cynthia's voice droned through the Jeep's speakers. 

"Just get everyone settled. Make sure to set everything up in the conference room and make a lunch reservation for after the meeting. Me, Ryder, Forsythe and his people." Brian shot his orders across the line. 

"When will you be here?" 

"Twenty minutes. Tops." Brian's estimate called for driving at twice the speed limit the entire way and all though he didn't know it yet, his estimate didn't account for the fact that three lights ahead, traffic had come to a near standstill due to an earlier accident. 

 

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Justin turned to lean against the closed door as he listened to the low whine of the elevator descending to the first floor. He sighed as this signal of Brian's departure got quieter and quieter. So much had changed for him in one night. The mere fact that he'd told Brian what happened and Brian had been kind had managed to make a world of difference for Justin. His father didn't want him the way he was but Brian did. 

The metal door was cold against his bare back and Justin moved away slowly. He ran his hand across the edge of the sofa as he passed it on the way back to the bedroom. He'd been thinking about what he would do with the rest of the day and for now he couldn't come up with anything better than climbing back under the covers and soaking up Brian's smell on the sheets. He dropped off his jeans and sat down on the edge of the bed. He could still see Brian's wet tracks on the floor across the room and he noticed the wet towel Brian had left in the middle of the bed. Tossing the towel on to the floor, Justin settled himself into a dry spot and closed his eyes. He could definitely smell Brian in these sheets. For now he could forget about everything and everyone else and concentrate only on this smell. 

The phone was ringing from somewhere under the sheets and Justin winced at the sound. He'd been dreaming that he was in the living room at his old house looking at his parents standing across the room from him. They were talking about him. No. They weren't talking about him. They were screaming at each other about him. In his dream Molly was crying and begging him to make them stop but no matter what Justin tried his throat wouldn't make any sounds. He'd tried over and over to speak and found that he couldn't. Molly was screaming at him now. She was telling him that it was his fault that they were fighting each other. It was his fault and he had to find a way to make them stop. Justin pressed his hands up to his ears as he tried to drown out Molly's condemnation and the sound of his parents' voices. He woke up in a cold sweat as his throat gave way to a loud scream. He wasn't sure if he'd made that sound out loud or only in his dream but the sound of the scream was ringing in his ears as he sat up against the pillows. That sound was quickly replaced with the singsong tones from the ringing telephone. 

Justin's sweaty hands located the phone down by his hips. "Hullo." Justin croaked his word before pausing to steady himself from the dream. He'd sweat so much that the spot under his body wasn't dry anymore. The sheets felt cold against his skin. 

"Hello." The woman on the other end of the line parroted what Justin had said. 

"Yeah. Hullo." The fog was starting to clear and Justin focused on the caller's voice. 

"I...Um...I was just going to leave a message...Do I have the right number? Does Brian Kinney live there?" The woman sounded very flustered. 

"Yeah. He does. Who's calling?" Justin found his voice and sat up further in the bed. The air was cold against his damp hair and skin. 

"Um...It's...Who's this?" Flustered was quickly replaced with inquisitive. 

"That's what I asked you. Who's calling?" Justin wasn't about to give out any more information to this person. He flipped the phone over and looked at the call display. The identity of the caller and the number were both blocked. 

"Is this Justin? Do you live there with Brian?" 

He was just suspicious before but now all the alarm bells were going off in Justin's head. How was it that this person knew who his was? The calls to his mother's house and to Debbie's had pretty much stopped about three weeks after the attack but he knew the reporters still tried to get to Brian. 

"Who is this and why the fuck won't you leave us alone?" Brian would have been proud of Justin's new telephone manners. 

"Um...I...I need to speak with Brian." 

"We're not talking to you so fuck off." Justin cut the line as he finished his statement. 

Claire looked at the receiver in stunned silence and then slowly replaced it in its cradle. She sat back from her kitchen table and eyed the phone. She'd expected to leave another message after listening to her brother's terse answering machine recording. She hadn't expected Brian to be home and she certainly hadn't expected a sleepy sounding man to answer the phone instead. She considered calling back and then thought better of it. Brian would be pissed enough at her when she finally managed to reach him and she'd wait for better circumstances to make any kind of overture towards the people in his life. 

 

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"Gentlemen." Brian offered this word by way of a greeting as he strode into the conference room. He was just ten minutes late but Ryder eyed him as though he'd kept them waiting for hours. The man seemed to have forgotten that Brian had stayed at the office till after midnight the night before. 

"Brian. We were starting to get worried about you." Clifford Forsythe stood and extended his hand to shake Brian's. Brian obliged and ignored the man's comment as well as the leering smile and squeeze that accompanied the man's words. It was obvious that Forsythe didn't think they were finished. 

"We'll get started right away then." Brian took a seat at the table as Cynthia handed out copies of the layouts and the relevant research information to Forsythe and his team. 

Forsythe had taken a seat directly across from Brian and he flipped open the folder that Cynthia set in front of him. "I'm sure that your performance on this project will be up to the caliber of your previous efforts Brian." Forsythe's tone was professional but since Brian still detected the leering in his voice the man's compliment fell on Brian's deaf ears. Brian shot the man a less than pleasant look and Marty Ryder caught the abbreviated exchange of eye contact between the two men. 

"The campaign will begin running in several major cities within the next two weeks." Brian flipped back into professional mode. "You have in front of you a copy of the print ads and billboard ads, as they'll run in New York, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco. There'll be some minor changes to how the ads will run in the Mid-West and some of the Southern states. If you'll turn to the first tab in your package I'll point out those changes." 

Brian spoke steadily and clearly as he fought back mental images of what he'd done to the man sitting across from him in the name of landing this account. Brian probably couldn't give an accurate description of the Twinkie from the night before even if he tried but he could remember every detail of what had taken place in that L.A. office. He could see Forsythe on his knees in front of him and he could feel the man's hands on his skin. From the look that Forsythe was throwing at him now Brian could tell their thoughts were on the same wavelength. 

After two and a half hours Brian had reviewed every lay out and Forsythe's people had signed off on each one. "As you can see the message of the campaign hasn't been altered significantly and based on the research we don't have any reason to think that the softening of the ads will detract from profitability." For all outward appearances Brian's mind had been fully focused on the task at hand. 

"Brian has taken a similar approach with several of our other clients and it has worked quite well." Marty Ryder spoke up. His words were still singing Brian's praise but his eyes said different. 

"The strategy looks fine to us Mr. Kinney." One of Forsythe's people closed his package as he looked up to speak to Brian. "Are you satisfied that the campaign can go national within the next two weeks." 

"Absolutely. Production is in full swing and the delivery contracts have all been signed. Chambers, Tatum and Whitley has seen to the west coast preparations." Brian leaned back in his chair as he finished his statement. 

"It all sounds like gold to me." Forsythe proclaimed his judgment as he pushed away from the table and stood up. Ryder stood up next to him and Brian watched as they shook hands and moved towards the windows. Brian watched them chat quietly for a few moments before diverting his attention to the executive who was speaking to him. 

"Thank you Mr. Kinney. The work looks good and we'll be in touch with the final approvals within the next few hours." 

Brian shook the man's hand before moving closer to the two men at the window. 

"Brian I understand that it's to be you and me for lunch." Forsythe was beaming and Brian turned a blank look on Ryder's face for some confirmation of what the man was saying. 

"I've apologized to Cliff for skipping out on today's luncheon Brian. I actually have another meeting in a few minutes." Ryder shook Forsythe's hand again before turning to walk back towards the conference table. 

"My people have other matters to attend to as well Brian. So it'll be lunch for two." Brian offered Forsythe a sneer before turning his back on him. Brian didn't have to see it to know that the other man's grin was continuing to spread across his face. 

 

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"Take your hand off my ass." Brian huffed a little laugh before continuing. "Unless you want to draw back a stump." Brian watched the man's reflection in the mirror as they stood alone in the elevator car. Forsythe reluctantly pulled his hand back and slipped it into his pocket. 

"Now now Brian. That's no way to talk to your benefactor." The man scolded. He'd been staring at the deep gray tones Brian's eyes had taken on in the lowlight from the panels on the ceiling. Brian had lost a bit of his L.A. tan but his skin still glowed under the light. Images of Brian's naked flesh danced through Clifford Forsythe's head. 

"My benefactor?" Brian's forced smile turned into rage in an instant. "You've gotten exactly what you paid for. Nothing more and nothing less. You haven't done me any fucking favors." Brian hissed loudly against the other man's ear. The doors to the elevator opened just then and a man and woman made tentative movements towards getting on the car. They'd heard the last part of Brian's statement as the doors opened. Brian offered both of them a challenging look and stepped away from Forsythe to hit the button to close the elevator doors again. He continued to shoot poison darts at Forsythe's reflection the entire way down to the lobby. 

Cynthia had made reservations at an elegant bistro lounge nestled in the courtyard across from the office tower that housed The Ryder Agency. Brian pushed at the revolving doors and stepped out into the bright sunshine of the afternoon. He slipped on his sunglasses and moved to the curb without casting a backwards glance to see whether Cliff Forsythe had even gotten off the elevator or followed him outside. Call it instinct but Brian could feel the man close behind him. His eyes no doubt glued to Brian's ass. 

A taxi driver blared his horn as Brian stepped out into traffic to jaywalk to the other side of the street. Forsythe took his life into his hands to follow the seemingly fearless Brian as he walked across the four lanes of bustling motorists to reach their destination. Brian turned to scowl at the man as soon as he spotted him in his peripheral vision. 

"Out of breath Cliff? I know how too much excitement can affect people when they get to be your age." Brian tossed his insult over his shoulder as he lengthened his strides and pulled ahead of the other man again. Cliff Forsythe had had an advantage over him the last time they met but this time Brian didn't need to play nice. The contracts had already been signed, sealed and delivered. Forsythe's Board wouldn't let him back out of the deal now even if he wanted to. 

Forsythe knew the dynamics had changed but that wouldn't stop him from trying anyway. "You're right Brian. If I recall our meeting in L.A. correctly, you know exactly what kind of effect your brand of excitement can have on me." Forsythe teased his comment towards Brian's ear and ignored the murderous look Brian shot him from beneath his sunglasses. Clifford Forsythe wouldn't have gotten as far in industry as he had unless he liked to play rough and he liked a challenge. 

The two men made their way inside the entrance of the secluded restaurant and stood amongst the small crowd of people waiting to be seated. Brian removed his sunglasses as he slipped inside. He scanned the faces of the people standing around him and he accepted the nodded greetings from a few people he recognized from meetings or business functions. Brian slipped his sunglasses into his breast pocket and ignored the looks he was getting from Forsythe as well as several other men and women standing ahead of him. It would seem that a few of the lunchgoers of downtown Pittsburgh thought that Brian looked preeminently fuckable today. 

"Mr. Kinney if you'll just follow me." Their hostess walked ahead of Brian and Forsythe and directed them to a large u-shaped booth along the far wall of the bistro. Cynthia had reserved seating for a party of five and the restaurant hadn't been able to accommodate the late change to a party of two. "Max will be your waiter this afternoon. Please enjoy your meal gentlemen." The hostess excused herself and returned to her post at the front of the restaurant. 

Forsythe sat down at one end of the leather-covered seat and Brian took a spot across from him. The other man was still eyeing him and Brian pulled out the drink menu and immediately turned to address their waiter. "I'll have a double Absolut. No Ice." He'd need to drink heavily if he was going to survive this lunch without kicking someone's ass. Right now it appeared that Cliff Forsythe was his most likely victim. 

Forsythe studied his menu for a second or two before selecting a bottle of red wine. When the waiter had gone to fill their orders Forsythe leaned over the table to slowly whisper his words to Brian. "I feel like having meat for lunch today Brian..." The man smirked before adding. "...and I hear they do really good steaks here." Brian clenched his jaw and scowled at the other man. It was just minutes into this Client Luncheon and Brian was seriously entertaining the thought of leaving the client to enjoy his lunch alone. Brian closed his ears to the barely veiled innuendo that Forsythe was throwing across the table and turned his attention to eyeing the other patrons. 

Brian saw him immediately. 

Craig Taylor appeared to be in the middle of regaling his lunch companions with what was, judging from the rapt expressions on the faces of the group, a very interesting story. The man presided over the table with a large smile on his face as he continued his story. The raucous laughter and the congratulatory smacks on the back that the group rewarded him with when the story was over only served to further stir Brian's anger. Not less than nine hours earlier he'd had to watch Justin break down on describing the shit his father had put him through and now here was the man himself having a grand ole time. Brian watched for a few more minutes as the waiter returned and set his drink in front of him. 

"To us maintaining a very close working relationship Brian." Clifford Forsythe was offering a toast. At first Forsythe hadn't noticed Brian's loathsome gaze at the table across the room and when Brian didn't respond he followed his line of sight. "Someone you know?" Forsythe still held his glass aloft as he waited for Brian to return the toast. 

Brian turned to look at Forsythe only for a split second before throwing his napkin on the table and moving towards the object of his pure and utter contempt. A woman at the table closest to the booth had spent the last few minutes studying Brian's every movement. In her eyes the tall dark haired man with the haunting eyes and the perfect lips only grew more and more delicious as the angry scowl spread further and further across his face. She'd watched the dirty looks he'd been shooting towards the man sitting across from him and she'd noticed the look of recognition bloom on his face as he turned to look at the group in the center of the room. She was no psychic but she could tell as Brian stood up and stalked towards the other table that none of the coming events were going to be civil or pretty. 

 

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Brian moved up to the table and stopped just beside Craig Taylor. The man was now in deep conversation with the woman to his left and the remaining members of the lunch party noticed Brian first. 

"I want a fucking word with you." Brian growled at the man seated in front of him. Craig Taylor slowly turned towards the sound of the voice as the realization that not only were the words addressed to him but the identity of the speaker came into focus. 

"What the?" The words trailed off as the man regrouped and fixed Brian with a stern expression. "We have nothing to talk about." Craig Taylor spat his words as he glared at Brian. The other people at the table and the several in close proximity fixed their attention on the angry dialogue. 

"We have plenty to talk about. We'll talk in here or we'll do it outside. Choose quickly." Brian pushed his words through the tightly clenched muscles of his jaw. 

Craig Taylor threw a poisoned look at him before casting a somewhat concerned look around at his lunch company. He wanted nothing more than to kill Brian Kinney but he had no intention of making that scene the topic of lunch discussions for weeks to come. 

"I said I have nothing to say to you." Those close by could hear the man's teeth grating together as he ground out his response to Brian's ultimatum. 

"We talk in here then." Brian quickly recorded Craig Taylor's choice before lunging forward to grab the man by the shirt collar. The chair toppled back under their movements and Brian dropped a knee to the man's chest as he landed on his back. Brian didn't hear the barely stifled gasps from the other patrons or the sound of cutlery landing on the floor beside them and he didn't feel the waiters attempting to pull him to his feet. "You're not so fucking tough if you don't get to sneak up on me from behind." Brian tightened his grip on the other man's throat and he ignored the feel of Taylor's hands pushing at his body. "You think he should be dead instead of with me. Isn't that right?" Brian spat his words against the man's reddening face. "You think that young Mr. Hobbes made a valiant but failed effort to fix your son huh? You'd fucking well rather destroy him than let him live the way he is." 

"Let him live with you? You disgusting pervert. You made my son like you. You made him a fa..." 

Craig Taylor hissed and pushed at Brian's weight in an attempt to topple the man who knelt against his chest. Brian didn't budge. He only tightened his grip and drove his knee further into the other man's ribs. Two out of the three times they'd been around each other, Craig Taylor had treated him to a nice set of bruises and now Brian aimed on returning the favor. 

"Faggot." Brian finished the man's sentence. "Is that the word you're searching for?" Brian saw the man grimace and look around as he heard the word and Brian repeated it louder so that everyone around them could hear as well. "Your son's a faggot and it's killing you so much that you'd rather see him dead. But he's not dead and guess what. Justin was a faggot before the first time I fucked him, he was still a faggot when I fucked him last night and he'll still be a faggot when I fuck him tonight." Brian fixed his eyes on the man's dangerous expression and he watched him for any sign of movement before releasing his hold on the man's throat. Brian smiled wryly as he got to his feet. 

"Fucking bastard!" Having been pushed beyond any concern for what the people around them would think, Craig Taylor made a sudden grab for Brian's body and pushed him back on to the table behind them. A man and woman who had been perched in their chairs as they watched the scene play out on the marble floor beside them now scrambled in opposite directions to get out of the way as Brian fell back on to their table. Brian wrestled with the man's weight on top of him for only a few seconds before planting his knee squarely against Craig Taylor's crotch. He offered the older man a challenging look as he increased the pressure from his knee against its target. Brian made sure that Craig Taylor realized what he'd left himself open to and he saw the flash of realization cross the other man's eyes. It took a lot to make one man do this particular indignity to another but as Brian saw it this man had it and so much more coming to him. 

"Get the fuck off me before I crush your balls." Brian was breathing hard now and his threat was a low growl. He pushed at the man heavily and got up from the table. Brian's eyes focused on his own handprints that were standing out prominently against the skin of the man's throat. "It was nice talking to you Craig." Brian turned away slightly and anticipated the other man's movements long before Craig Taylor managed to pull his fist back for the punch. Brian turned back to face the lunging man, grabbing him by the arm and pushing him back violently. He slammed his fist into the man's jaw ignoring the pain that bloomed through his hand. Brian watched him topple to the ground and he moved to tower above him. His eyes flashed as he addressed Craig Taylor with a snarl. "You keep your hate away from Justin and I'm warning you for your sake and mine, stay the fuck away from me." 

Brian turned and walked towards the bewildered looking hostess and manager on the other side of the room. He reached into his breast pocket and fished out a business card. "Send me the bill for the damage." Brian threw the card on to the table close to where the two stood and pulled on his sunglasses before pushing through the doors. 

In Brian's wake toppled tables were righted and astonished patrons returned to their seats. Several waiters helped Craig Taylor to his feet and his colleagues nervously followed the man out of the restaurant after a few minutes. The man's ears rang and his jaw smarted from Brian's blow. Just as it was the first time he'd heard his wife utter the name, Craig Taylor wanted nothing more than to destroy Brian Kinney. 

Clifford Forsythe sipped at his drink and smiled at the continuing whispers about Brian's scene. He'd already had a first hand taste of Brian's fire and this little display of another aspect of that passion had only served to heighten Forsythe's appetite. 

 

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"So, what does the other guy look like?" Cynthia sauntered into the office with a barely disguised grin on her face. News traveled fast and even though only forty-five minutes had elapsed since the events at the bistro, she'd already received several eyewitness accounts. 

Brian swiveled the chair back to face her and offered a coy look from below his lashes. He'd come straight back to the office and he'd spent the last few minutes stewing over what had happened. "He looks like a fucking asshole, which is exactly what he looked like before." Brian sat forward and folded his hands on the table in front of him. 

"You need ice?" Cynthia eyed his hands. 

"No." Brian didn't know if he was stilling feeling the effects of the adrenalin coursing through his veins but his right hand hadn't offered him much complaint since just after he delivered the punch. Outside of the pinkish swelling on his knuckle Brian had come out of the incident with nothing more than a wine stain on the back of his suit jacket. 

"So I'm assuming that was Justin's dad?" Cynthia knew she was fishing for information that Brian wouldn't be too keen on supplying but she'd make the effort nonetheless. 

As expected Brian didn't offer any confirmation or denial of her speculations. He maintained his nondescript expression and studied her face. The blinds along the side of the office were open and Brian spotted Ryder as the man stormed down the hallway passed the windows to reach the office doorway. His meeting was obviously over. Cynthia hadn't seen him coming and she practically jumped aside just as the man was about to knock her out of the way. Ryder didn't bother to close the door before he began his tirade and he ignored the fact that Cynthia was standing just over his shoulder. 

"Can you go one fucking month without making us front paged news?" Ryder crossed the room quickly and came to loom in front of Brian's desk. Brian hardened his expression and sat back in his chair. The rumor-mill not only traveled fast but it had means of delivering updates even during Ryder's client meetings. "This agency is becoming synonymous with the developments of your goddamned personal life and I'm just about sick of it. When since is it company policy to leave here to take a client to lunch and instead end up starting a brawl?" Brian rolled his eyes at the man's embellishment of the actual events but kept silent. He'd been interested in hearing just what Marty Ryder thought of him for some time now. 

Cynthia knocked over a stack of magazines on the coffee table during her efforts to flee the office unnoticed. Ryder turned to glare at her. He'd only just then realized she was even in the office. "Get out of here and close the door." The bearded man was practically snarling at her. 

"What's this really about?" Brian stood up from his desk and offered the man a challenging expression. He heard the door close and he saw Cynthia walk by the windows. 

"Isn't what I'm saying clear enough for you?" Ryder hissed his words. 

"Obviously not. Why don't you tell me just what kind of publicity it is that you're worried about?" Brian furrowed his brows and leaned forward against the desk. 

"Your work has been an asset to this company Brian but that can only count for so much." Ryder huffed. 

"Are you threatening me?" Brian scowled at his one time mentor. 

"What I'm saying to you is that you know damned well that image is everything. In the last few months I've heard more about what you do outside of this office than I have about your work. In the last few months you've increasingly blurred the line between your personal life and your office responsibilities." The man was conjuring up thoughts of Kip Thomas and he was remembering being followed to his car by reporters anxious to ask him for his opinions on Brian's role in Justin Taylor's attack. 

"You think that I've neglected my work responsibilities?" Brian had no intention of defending any of this man's accusations. The sole purpose of this exercise was to gather information on just where the enigmatic Marty Ryder stood on the topic of Brian Kinney. 

"You make money for us Brian and you win awards. That's the only reason you're still here." 

"You're doing me a fucking favor then?" Brian gave a bitter laugh. "Funny. All this time I thought making you money and winning awards pretty much satisfied my job description." Brian was fuming now and he was waiting to see just how far Ryder would take this little tantrum. 

"I don't want to see it Brian." The man stuffed his hands into his pockets as he spat his words. "I don't want to know what goes on in your life and I don't want to see it on the fucking news. Do you hear what I'm saying to you? You keep it out of my agency and out from under our client's noses." 

Brian turned his body towards the windows at the side of his office and eyed the other man over his shoulder. "So I'm your dirty little secret then. I'm causing all sorts of waves for your image because I won't stop airing my so called dirty laundry for you to see." Brian wore a smile as he turned back to face his boss fully. "If you came down here because you expect me to apologize for what I did or how I live my life then don't waste any more of your time or mine. It's not going to happen." The coolness in Brian's eyes stood in sharp contrast to the smile that still played about his lips. Brian watched as Ryder turned and flung the door open to leave the office. The retreating man still looked like he was positively ready to spit nails. 

Brian followed Ryder with his eyes as the man walked passed the window and disappeared in the direction from whence he'd come. Brian was rooted to the spot where he stood and he let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. That moment with Ryder had been building since the first day he returned to the office after Justin's attack. In fact Brian thought it had been building since the day Ryder threw the papers for Kip Thomas' harassment suit on to his desk. Brian replayed the words that had been said in the last few minutes. No Apologies. No Excuses. No Regrets. Brian knew that Ryder wouldn't mind so much about the soap opera that his life had become if not for one key feature of the drama. 'Straight soap operas might be okay with the boss but who would ever want to watch a gay soap opera?' Brian smiled at his own thoughts. He hated it more than anyone else that his life could become front-paged news but he still had no intention of censoring it for his boss's benefit. 

Cynthia crept back into the office just then. "What a fucking asshole." She picked up the magazines she'd knocked over before Ryder had made her leave. 

Brian offered her a small smile and huffed a little laugh to himself as he sat back down at his desk. He felt incredible. First Craig Taylor and then Marty Ryder. Who ever said there weren't advantages to clearing the air, one way or another? 

 

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It was just after four in the afternoon and although he was a little bored, Justin had to admit that he was enjoying the change of scenery. Had he spent the day at Deb's he would have spent it sequestered in his room in order to avoid Debbie's prying. He'd eaten the leftovers from the night before and cleaned up the pots. He'd even tidied up like a good little houseguest before doing some light snooping. Justin made sure not to hunt too deeply because he was sure that that was exactly what Brian suspected that he would do with his time alone in the loft. 

Even though Brian didn't keep much out for prying eyes Justin had managed to discover that Brian didn't just own the camcorder Justin had seen before but the man owned no less than three other cameras. In addition to the camcorder in the stand under the television, there had been the new digital camera in Brian's desk and the two in the low cabinet that ran along the blinds on one side of the bedroom. Justin had even discovered the photos that Brian kept in a box on a low shelf under the bed. The pictures were of Michael and the guys and included a shot of a man Justin recognized as Brian's father holding a baby that looked just like Gus. Justin studied this picture closely. He'd never seen any pictures of Brian as a child. Justin realized that the collection had been updated quite recently when he found several shots of Gus's birthday party. 

Justin abandoned his snooping after a cursory review of the letters and bills on the desk. He'd run out of places that he could look without Brian noticing the disturbance. 

"What do I do now?" Justin hadn't brought his sketchbook and besides computer paper, Brian didn't have anything he could draw on. Justin stood in the middle of the loft and slowly panned his eyes around the room. There had to be something to do for fun in the loft where pleasure and hedonism lived. 

Justin's eyes stopped on the bedroom. That was definitely the most likely place to find his afternoon entertainment. Justin climbed the steps again and dropped himself at the foot of the bed. He'd already formed a plan but he wasn't sure that he wanted to go through with it. Directly across from him were the swinging glass panes that separated the bedroom from the rest of the loft. Justin eyed the cupboards that sat under the panes. Brian had never hidden the contents of these cupboards from him but Justin still had some reservations about exploring them in Brian's absence. He scooted his butt along the floor to sit cross-legged in front of the closed doors. He fingered the latch on the middle door slowly before pulling it open. Inside Justin could see a bin containing items of all shapes and sizes, some of which he hadn't as yet been shown the uses for. These were Brian's dildos and toys and whips. Yes whips. 

Justin ran a finger across the edge of the bin and tipped it forward so he'd have a better look inside. He grinned widely as he recognized something they hadn't played with in a while. Justin reached for the handcuffs and smiled when he remembered cuffing Brian to the shower pipes when the man wasn't looking. Nobody would ever believe Justin if he described the way Brian had simply laughed when he realized what had happened to him. There was Brian, naked with shampoo running into his eyes, looking incredulously between the naked man standing beside him and the wrist that was now handcuffed to the pipes above them. Brian had simply started grinning as he let Justin cuff his other hand in place. He'd stayed in that position until Justin finished delivering the blowjob. 

Justin pushed the bin back into place and surveyed the other contents of the cupboard. He'd been to Ted's apartment and he'd been over to Michael and Emmett's but the three of them combined didn't have as extensive a porn collection as Brian did. The man seemingly owned every tape and DVD of gay male sex ever produced. He even had international titles where the dialogue hadn't been dubbed. Brian had described picking these up on business trips and Justin remembered his comment that two guys fucking looked the same no matter what language they were moaning and screaming in. 

Justin let his hands skim across the tapes in this cupboard. He could no doubt watch a few and keep himself busy till Brian came back. Justin truly hadn't been into having sex at all last night being that he was more afraid of the emotional onslaught from Brian's reactions to his mood and the reasons behind the mood. Justin thought back to the evening before and turned to look over his shoulder at the freshly made bed. That bed had served as the stage for the majority of his sexual encounters with Brian and Justin could now add 'the worst attempt at faking ever performed' to the list of events the bed had seen. Justin smiled to himself as he remembered the way Brian had slept close to him last night and the way he'd kissed him that morning. Brian had surprised him and now Justin was definitely looking forward to adding a more pleasant chapter to the history their stage had seen. 

Justin's eyes dropped to the lower shelf of the cupboard and he skimmed his eyes over the tapes housed here. This was what he'd come to the cupboard looking for. Instead of tacky printed porn titles, the crisp white labels on these tapes bore Brian's distinctive handwriting. Although he'd watched a bit of Brian's store bought porn Justin had never had the pleasure of viewing Brian's homegrown stuff. Brian had never kept these tapes secret and Justin had been well aware of the uses for which Brian made of his high-end camcorder and the tripod he kept in the back of his closet. Justin sat back from the cupboard a bit and considered his options. The thought of watching Brian with someone else was both revolting and strangely intriguing. In all the months he'd known the tapes existed, Justin had never looked at them for fear that he'd discover that Brian was the same way with him as he was with any ordinary trick. Justin thought back to all that had happened between he and Brian since the Saturday night after Gus's party and some of that old fear dissipated. There was no way on earth that Brian felt the same things when he was with these other men. 

Justin would take a look at Brian fucking while he waited for the man to come home so that they could make love. 

"Shit." Justin spoke his word out loud as he backed up for a better view of the television. The picture on the screen had come into clear view and Justin immediately recognized the surroundings. This little home movie had been shot in the bedroom behind him. 

There were two men lying naked on Brian's bed and Justin could hear Brian talking to them. The angle of the camera and the slight jiggling of the picture suggested that the camera was being mounted on a tripod and Justin figured Brian was the one putting the camera into place. One of the men was looking towards the camera now and Justin could hear Brian laughing and telling the guy to turn over. 

"You wanna see my good side huh?" The blond man on the bed responded to Brian's off-camera request before turning over to show his ass to the camera. 

"Higher and spread your legs." The man got on his hands and knees and spread his legs wide. Brian's voice was still calling out instructions from off camera and Justin watched as the picture zoomed in for a tight shot of the guy's ass. Not wanting to leave the naked brunette out of the action, Brian called out to the other man. "He's in need of a sound fucking but he's still too tight. Wanna give him a hand or at least a couple of fingers?" Brian was laughing again. In the back of his mind Justin took note of the laughter. 

Justin settled himself against the cushions of the armchair as he watched the second man running his fingers up and down the blond guy's crack. Brian called for him to rim the blond and the second man moved in to oblige his request. Justin watched for a few more minutes as the action progressed. The two men on the bed were moaning and writhing against each other seemingly completely oblivious to the presence of the camera. The tape had been running for the last ten minutes but Brian had yet to make an appearance. The scene continued for another fifteen minutes and Justin listened as the blond man got louder and louder. It was here that Brian made his first appearance on camera. 

Justin watched as Brian walked across the shot and came to stand by the side of the bed. Justin had been sporting a slight erection during the entire twenty-five or so minutes he'd been watching the tape but as Brian came on camera he went from semi-hard to rock hard in an instant. Brian was naked and he was playing with himself as he watched the show developing on his bed. 

"Make some room for me." Brian was grinning as he knelt down on the bed and moved towards the other two men. The blonde man lifted his head up from the pillow beneath him and turned to face Brian's cock. Brian was still moving closer and Justin watched Brian put his dick into the guy's mouth. 

Justin swallowed hard and relaxed himself further into the chair. He didn't know what he was supposed to be feeling about the images playing out in front of him. If this tape kept to theme that had already revealed itself, Justin would be treated to a documentation of Brian in a threesome. Justin wasn't quite sure he wanted or needed to see that but he was acutely aware of the fact that he had yet to make any effort to stop the tape. 

Brian was thrusting into the blond man's mouth now and Justin could hear the guy moaning around Brian's length. The other man, the brunette, had eased away from the blond guy's ass and had moved up behind Brian now. Justin watched as Brian turned to eye the man behind him before pulling his head in for a kiss. Justin thought that 'kiss' wasn't quite the appropriate word for what Brian was doing to this man. Brian was licking the other man's lips and sucking on the guy's tongue. Justin was hypnotized as he watched Brian suck at the man's tongue like it was a cock. Brian arched his back into the movements of the mouth on his dick and pulled the man behind him closer against his body. 

"Shit." Justin spoke the word aloud again. The man kneeling behind Brian was bending him over now and Justin watched as the blond man moved away from Brian's cock to allow Brian to get on his hands and knees. The blonde guy repositioned himself flat on his back under Brian's body and Brian lowered his face towards this man's groin. Now Brian had a real cock in his mouth instead of the dark haired man's tongue and the dark haired man's tongue had moved to Brian's ass. 

Justin focused his attention on Brian's face. It was one thing to be on the receiving end of one of Brian's blowjobs but it was an entirely intoxicating experience to watch detached from the situation as he gave one to someone else. Justin felt a pang of jealousy and a twitch from his already painfully hard dick. 

The blue lights from the fixtures behind them cast the entire scene in a wash of color. Brian looked up towards the camera once and Justin jolted in his chair as Brian focused on the lens. In that split second he could feel Brian's lips on his own cock and Justin had a flash of Brian meeting his eyes during one of the many blowjobs Brian had given him. Justin was perspiring now. He'd started to panic about getting caught. It was after four-thirty and since Brian hadn't said it would be a late day at the office, Justin had no idea when he would be back. For the first time in the last half-hour he gave serious thought to stopping and rewinding the tape. On the screen Brian let out a loud groan and Justin realized that the brunette had added a finger or fingers to the movements of his tongue in Brian's ass. Justin couldn't see exactly what the man was doing because of the angle of the shot but by the movements of the man's arm, Justin could hazard the guess. 

Justin swallowed hard again and cupped his hands over his cock and balls. He'd watch just a little bit more. 

The blond guy lying under Brian was pleading with him to stop sucking while trying to warn him that he was about to shoot. Brian raised his head up to look at the guy's face before addressing him. 

"What the fuck are you waiting for?" Brian clearly intended on bringing this man to this state. 

The blond man dropped himself back against the sheets and grabbed at either side of Brian's head as he arched himself into Brian's movements. Justin watched as Brian pulled back in the second before the guy shot his load and put his tongue against the side of the man's dick. Brian let the guy cum in his mouth and he swallowed all of it in one greedy gulp. Brian turned his attention to the man behind him and straightened up as the trick continued to finger him. They were kissing again and Justin watched as the brunette let his free hand find Brian's hard cock and play with it. Brian was smiling into the kiss and Justin watched as the blond man caught his breath and rejoined the action. The blond man moved up to kneel in front of Brian and Brian alternated between kissing the man in front of him and kissing the man behind him. 

The tape cut to static just then and Justin was jerked out of the absent-minded massage he'd been performing on his crotch through the fabric of his jeans. "All good things must come to an end." He spoke to the empty room as he moved to pick up the remote and hit the stop button. 

The picture was back. 

The blond man had his shoulders against the pillows and his ass high in the air. Brian was behind him and they were positioned so that their profiles were to the camera. Brian was fucking the man mercilessly and the brunette was nowhere to be seen. Justin watched Brian's cock repeatedly appear and disappear between their bodies. He could see that Brian's eyes were closed and that Brian wore that blissed out expression that he got when he was really close to cumming. 

The brunette reappeared in the frame just then and crawled across the bed to lean against Brian's back. Brian slowed his movements and moved his legs apart as he leaned over the blond trick's back. 

"What the fuck?" Justin's jaw dropped as he realized what was happening. 

The brunette had one hand on Brian's hip and the other hand on his glistening cock. The man pressed his body against Brian's and reached around to spread the fingers of one hand against Brian's stomach. The brunette was pushing into Brian now and Justin watched Brian's mouth fall open before turning up into a drowsy looking smile. 

"You're driving the train." Brian had been breathing hard and his voice was low as he called to the man over his shoulder. 

The brunette began to rock his hips slowly and Justin watched Brian's expression change. The drowsy smile gave way to something akin to pure ecstasy and Brian closed his eyes again. When the brunette would push into him, Brian would pull out of the blond and when Brian would push into the blond, the brunette would pull out of him. The rhythm was steady and slow and made it so that Brian experienced the slide out of the blonde's greased hole just as the brunette was filling his. Justin had watched this particular scene performed in any number of the pornos he'd seen. He'd even spent many an evening jerking off to the thought of just what it would feel like to be the middleman in that kind of scenario. Now a sweaty Justin was seeing through the eyes of Brian himself exactly what it felt like to fuck a guy while you had a dick up your own ass. Justin's cock twitched under the weight of his hands. 

The phone on the desk was ringing now and Justin moved towards it warily. The phone hadn't rung at all since the strange call early that morning. Justin muted the television and looked at the display. It was the diner. 

"Hey Debbie." Justin tore his eyes away from the action on the large television screen behind him. He still hadn't made any move to actually stop the tape. 

"Don't 'Hey Debbie' me. You don't come home last night and you don't call? When since do you stay out all night and not call? Vic was worried sick." Debbie's voice was shrill and Justin held the phone away from his ear so as to avoid further damage. He suspected Debbie was the one who'd been worried. Vic seemed to have a sixth sense at understanding the pull that Brian could exude so he probably just assumed Justin was spending the night at the loft. 

"I was just tired and I went to sleep pretty early. I'm sorry Deb, I forgot." Justin knew the excuse was flimsy. 

"Tired? Do you take me for a fool? First off, Brian's bed is the last place to try to get some sleep if you're tired and second, you gave me that sad excuse on Tuesday. So cut the bull. What's going on and how come you haven't gone home yet?" Debbie spoke firmly. 

"Brian said I could stay. I didn't have any other plans for the day so I'm just hanging out here." Justin sat down behind Brian's desk and swiveled the chair so that he could face the muted television again. He'd brought the remote with him when he came to answer the phone and he fingered the buttons lightly. 

"Sunshine. Did Brian do something to you? Cause you know you can tell me. I've got Brian's number and I'm not afraid to put him in his place." In a split second Debbie had swung from angry to sounding like she was stroking a little pet and then back to angry again. 

"Deb. There's nothing wrong with me. I already told you that. Brian didn't do anything to me and don't you dare say anything to him. That'll just make problems and ensure that there will definitely be something wrong with me." Justin leaned back in the chair and relaxed his fingers over the remote. "Do you here me? Don't make any trouble for me with Brian." 

"Oh God...Fuck...Oh God...Aaaaaaaaaaaaah." Brian's ecstasy filled voice suddenly boomed through the space of the loft. Justin had accidentally turned off the muting. 

"Holy shit! What the hell's going on over there?" Debbie had heard the moaning loud and clear. "Is Brian there?" 

"Shit. Shit. Shit." Justin muted the television again. "Don't worry about it Deb. Forget about it okay. I'm gonna go, okay?" 

"The fuck you are." Debbie chuckled. "Is Brian there or not?" Debbie's interest was more than peaked. 

"He's not okay. Don't say anything about this Deb. Please." Justin was frantic. 

"You're watching home movies huh?" Debbie was grinning. "Well, man cannot live by dirty movies alone. You turn that shit off and come over here. If you've been at Brian's all day I wouldn't be surprised to know that you've chewed off your own arm out of starvation. You need to eat so come over here." Debbie commanded. 

"Brian's got lots of food Deb. It surprised me too so food's not a problem. I've been eating a whole bunch of leftovers from the stuff I made last night." 

"Leftovers from last night huh? I thought you said you were tired and went to bed early." Debbie thought she'd found evidence that Justin was lying. 

"I was tired okay. But I was hungry too. I made something to eat first." Justin recovered easily. 

"So you've gone through all the leftovers and you're still there so what's for dinner tonight?" Debbie was still focused on getting Justin to come to the diner. She'd get a chance to feed him and she'd get a chance to see for herself if his mood had indeed improved. 

"We'll order some take-out when Brian gets back. Don't worry about it Deb." 

"Don't worry about it? Your mother has left you in my care so that allows me to worry as much as I want. You get your bubble butt over here and let me fix you something to eat. You can even take something back to your overgrown charge if you'd like." Debbie ignored the patron who was signaling to her over the counter at the diner. 

"Deb, really. Come on." Justin didn't want to go over to Liberty. 

"Come over here now unless you want me to pay you a visit over there." Debbie struck a blow she was sure would get Justin to come to her. 

 

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Justin slid the door closed on its tracks and locked it behind him. He'd been balancing his backpack and a large take-out bag in his arms while trying desperately not to spill the container of soup that Debbie had made him take from the diner. He dropped the backpack in a heap beside the chair and just missed spilling the soup all over the white upholstery when he tripped on one of the straps on his bag. He didn't notice Brian until after he'd safely stowed the take-out bag on the kitchen counter. 

"You're here. I was hoping to make it back before you got home." Justin spoke over the top of the tall take-out bag. He was instantly distracted by what he saw. 

Brian had been leaning in the bedroom doorway closest to the bathroom and he didn't offer any response to what Justin had said. Justin could tell from Brian's wet hair that he'd been back long enough to take a shower. Justin's eyes panned over Brian's bare chest and he took in the smoldering look that Brian was giving him. His thoughts immediately returned to the kiss Brian had left him with that morning. The man in front of Justin had a small smile playing over his flushed lips and Justin tore himself away from the smile to take in what Brian was wearing. 

He'd never seen Brian look hotter than he did in that minute. 

White was a color that Brian rarely wore. When he did wear white it was only ever as a color of a shirt or some variation of a cream color or a light gray. Tonight Brian was wearing pure white and Justin could tell from the lightness of the material and the sheen that it was silk. Justin's eyes dropped from Brian's bare chest to the draw strings of the silk pajama bottoms. Brian hadn't bothered to tie them and they hung seductively against the shape of his cock. Justin took in Brian's bare feet and the muscles of Brian's chest, stomach and arms. Every breath that Brian took caused the light to play over each ridge and depression in his torso. Justin didn't realize that he'd been licking at his lips the entire time that he was looking across the room. 

From where Brian stood Justin's face was a play of expressions. Justin may have gone to pick up their dinner but Brian had managed to whet his appetite for more than food. Brian continued to watch his face from behind sly eyes. After Justin's less than award winning performance the night before, Brian had decided that if Justin was up to playing tonight, he was going to have to work for it. Brian tapped the fingers of one hand against his leg as he watched Justin move out from behind the counter. Brian smiled a little more. This was going to be fun. 

"What's for dinner?" Brian took the steps in slow languid movements and came to stand next to Justin at the counter. The shifting of the material and the way it floated over the muscles of Brian's thighs as he walked had transfixed Justin. Brian repeated his question when the other man didn't answer him. 

"Um...I went to that Thai place that you like and I got some soup from Debbie for tomorrow." Justin spoke quickly and he reluctantly stepped out of the way as Brian brushed pass him at the counter. 

Brian was pulling plates from the shelf above the sink and Justin's eyes drifted over the play of the tight muscles in Brian's back as the man reached above his head to the shelf. Justin watched as those muscles disappeared under the waistband of the pajama bottoms that hung low against Brian's hips. Brian had definitely just taken a shower. The skin on his back was moist and the sheen of the water made Brian's skin look polished or oiled. Justin dropped his eyes lower and he noticed that the dampness on Brian's skin had molded the material against the shape of Brian's ass and the backs of his thighs. Tonight more than any other night Justin thought Brian looked like he'd been sculpted out of marble. Justin swallowed hard and Brian heard him. Brian still had his back turned to Justin and he rolled his lips into his mouth to stifle a smile as he heard Justin's reaction. Brian knew Justin had a thing for seeing wet skin and he'd made sure to leave just enough mist on his skin for Justin's benefit. 

"I haven't eaten anything all day. Tonight I'm hungry." Brian said his statement with a much deeper and more seductive tone than this simple string of words usually warranted. Justin watched as Brian set two plates on the counter and turned again to retrieve the cutlery from the drawer behind them. Justin had been rooted to a spot in front of the counter and Brian decided to shake him out of his trance. "Why don't you get comfortable?" Brian gestured towards the light jacket Justin was sporting and Justin immediately moved to shrug it off. 

Brian pulled the take-out containers from the bag and opened them while keeping his eyes planted on Justin's face. Justin had been so focused on studying Brian's body that he didn't notice the other man's keen attention to his reactions. Deciding to up the stakes a bit, Brian dipped a finger into a container of whitish colored sauce and brought the dripping finger closer to his lips. Brian dropped his eyes from Justin's face and kept his expression blank as he pretended not to hear Justin swallow hard again. Brian moved his finger closer to his lips while he studied the contents of the other containers. He made sure to be messy with his actions as he pushed the finger into his mouth. Justin followed the path of the finger as it pushed between Brian's lips. Justin watched as much of the sauce spilled over the man's lips and hung dangerously against the corner of his mouth. Brian looked up at him just then and Justin watched Brian's tongue as it cleaned the remainder of the sauce off his finger and searched his lips for any leftovers. 

Brian was dishing food on to his plate as Justin fought the urge to reach over and lick at the drop of sauce that still hung at the corner of Brian's mouth. Brian went about his movements seemingly oblivious to Justin's stare. As well as pretending not to notice how turned on Justin was getting, Brian was pretending not to notice the sauce that he was sure was still on his face. 

"You want some of everything?" Brian had turned his actions towards filling the second plate. 

"Yeah." Justin's managed a choked response. His attention was still firmly grounded on the sauce at the corner of Brian's mouth. 

Brian pushed a loaded plate towards Justin and dropped a fork beside it. Justin watched as Brian ditched the take-bag on the floor beside the counter and pulled two beers from the fridge. Brian pushed a bottle towards Justin before picking up his own plate and moving towards the living room. Justin turned to follow Brian's ass as it walked away. The silk was drying but the cling was as noticeable as it had been before. Judging from the perfect fit, these pajama bottoms had been tailored for Brian. 

"I found that in the VCR." Brian sat back on the couch and pointed towards the tape on the coffee table in front of him. Justin picked up his food and moved to stand across from Brian. His heart skipped a beat as he realized he'd forgotten to return his afternoon entertainment to the bedroom cupboard before leaving to see Debbie. 

"There wasn't anything on so I thought I'd..." Justin's voice trailed off as he moved to sit across from Brian. 

"...Jerk off?" Brian finished Justin's sentence. That small smile was still playing about his lips. 

"I didn't..." Justin dropped his eyes sheepishly and looked nervously between the tape sitting between them on the table and the drop of white sauce that still perched at the corner of Brian's mouth. "...Debbie called. I didn't get a chance to." 

Brian smiled and caught himself just before he made the mistake of absently licking the sauce from the corner of his mouth. He planned on Justin licking it off and he would wait until Justin made his move. Brian looked down at the tape and then looked back up at Justin. The thought of Justin jerking off to his fucking someone else was a turn on and Brian's thoughts flashed on images of Justin sprawled in the armchair with his pants around his ankles. 

"How much did you watch?" Brian kept his tone nonchalant. To all appearances you'd think he was asking Justin how much of the evening news he'd managed to catch. 

"I watched until they started to fuck you." Justin spoke quietly. He was staring at Brian's crotch now. Despite his play in indifference Brian was starting to get hard. 

"You watched that much huh?" Brian brought his beer bottle back to his lips and took a deep swallow. 

Justin pushed his fork into the noodles on his plate. "You never said I couldn't look at them." He suspected that Brian could well be pissed about the invasion of privacy but he considered himself pretty safe since Brian had never hidden where the tapes were or what they were. 

"No. I never said that." Brian was looking at him closely. "So what did you think?" Brian's voice was silky and it was a mere breath. 

Justin kept his eyes on his plate as he answered. "I thought it looked hot." He looked up at Brian quickly and smiled before dropping his eyes again. 

"So, seeing me and somebody else didn't bother you?" 

"Like you said Brian, it's just fucking." Justin copycatted the flippant tone Brian always used whenever he said these words. 

"Why don't you pop it back in? There's probably nothing good on T.V. anyway." Tonight Brian's motives were all about veiled seduction. 

Justin looked at Brian before setting his plate on the table and retrieving the tape. Brian watched him get up and move towards the television. Justin put the tape in place and picked up the remote before reclaiming his seat across from Brian. He leaned over and pushed the remote across the coffee table into Brian's reach. Justin didn't bother to pick up his food again. He knew exactly what he wanted to eat and it couldn't be found on his plate. 

Brian leaned over and took the remote. He fixed his eyes on Justin's face as he hit the play button. 

"Aaaaaaaaaaah...Oh God yeah." 

"Oh fuck me...Yeah...Oh fuck me..." 

"Oh yeah baby...Oh yeah...Ah...Ah...Oh yeah...Yeah do it...do it to me...Oh. Fuck." 

A symphony of voices filled the loft. 

Brian dropped the remote on to the couch and found his fork again. He'd already lived and seen the action playing out on the television before them. Right now the only thing he wanted to watch was Justin's reaction to the tape. 

Justin fought to keep his eyes on Brian's face as the men on the screen got closer and closer to orgasm. He could hear Brian's voice among them and he wanted so much to see just what was eliciting that response. Justin's eyes wandered over to the television of their own accord. He couldn't fight the pull anymore. On the screen, Brian slammed into the man in front of him and growled as the man behind him pushed in deeper. Justin swallowed hard again and looked back towards Brian's face. Brian was watching him intently and Justin was starting to see the pattern in Brian's behavior this evening. He was sure that Brian was covertly trying to turn him on. 

'Well it's working on both of us.' This thought flashed through Justin's mind as he looked back at Brian's crotch. 

Brian pushed another forkful into his mouth and chewed slowly. He could see Justin's skin flushing and the way Justin kept licking at his lips. On the screen the threesome was coming now and Brian listened to his own moans in surround sound. 

Justin turned his full attention towards the screen to take in the climax. Brian's skin was slick and his jaw hung open. When it was all over Brian had dropped himself against the body beneath him as the brunette pulled out and fell on his side. From the looks of things Brian had definitely killed again. 

Justin was breathing a little harder and he suddenly felt hot all over. Brian noticed the swollen lips and the moisture that had settled above Justin's lips. Justin had just about reached the limits of the amount of teasing that he could take from Brian. Brian set his plate down on the table and waited. 

Justin swallowed hard again and looked back at Brian. 

"Come to me." Brian's voice was liquid velvet. 

He watched as Justin got up from his seat and moved to stand in front of the sofa between his open legs. He eyed Justin's swollen crotch and lifted his eyes to find Justin's face. Brian reached for the remote and stopped the tape. He didn't say anything for the longest while. 

"I can't take much more of this Brian." Justin had been aching ever since he spotted Brian in the bedroom doorway. Hell, he'd been aching ever since Brian left that morning. 

Brian stood up slowly. He rubbed his body against Justin's as he did it and he could feel Justin's cock pressing against his thigh. Brian ran his fingers along Justin's sides and took in the pained expression Justin was throwing at him now. He reached around to cup Justin's ass in his hands and he let his mouth fall open as he heard Justin sigh. Brian dipped his head to Justin's ear before whispering his next few words. 

"You want it? You have to ask me for it. Nicely." 

Justin furrowed his brow as he tried to figure out just how far Brian planned on taking this game. "What do you want me to say Brian?" 

"Tell me why I should fuck you." Brian was smiling. 

Justin was quiet for a little while before a huge grin bloomed across his face. He reached up to cup his right hand between Brian's legs and squeezed. The man was hard. "You should fuck me because you want me so bad you can practically taste me." Justin punctuated his words by raising his head to lick at the drop of sauce that had been taunting him for the last several minutes. 

Brian smiled and stepped aside out of Justin's reach. He looked over his shoulder as he walked away towards the bedroom. "I'm going to bed. I'd invite you to come along but you're wearing too much in the way of clothing." Brian was grinning now. 

From where he stood, Justin could see Brian standing by the side of his bed and Justin held Brian's gaze as he started to undress. He toed off his shoes and socks and reached for the buttons on his shirt. He undid them quickly. Within a few seconds Justin's pants joined his shirt, as it lay thrown across the back of the sofa. 

"Underwear too." Brian demanded from the bedroom. 

Justin dropped off his briefs and walked towards Brian. "Now who's overdressed?" Justin threw a look towards the white silk. 

"I thought you liked seeing me in this." Brian's eyes washed over the protruding cock that had come to stand in front of him. 

"I love it but we can't fuck if you're still wearing it." Justin licked his lips and reached down to stroke himself. 

Brian didn't move to undress himself. If he remembered correctly, Justin liked to do that for him. Brian watched as Justin stepped forward and reached for his waistband. Justin tugged at the band gently. It didn't take much effort to tease the light fabric over Brian's hips and it slid lazily down Brian's thighs and came to pool around his ankles. Justin eyed Brian's cock hungrily and he opened his mouth in anticipation. Brian grabbed at Justin's arms to stop him as Justin moved to drop to his knees. 

"Let me do it Brian. I want it." Justin reached up to lick at Brian's lips again. 

"You didn't ask me nicely." It was getting harder and harder to resist him but Brian was determined to make Justin beg. 

"Brian I want you." Justin opened his mouth and reached up to kiss Brian again. The man pulled away. 

"That all you got?" Brian wasn't satisfied with Justin's choice of words. 

Brian's lips may have been out of reach for now but Justin was well aware that there were other things to do with a mouth besides kissing. Justin looked down Brian's body and Brian let him drop to his knees. Brian didn't stand a chance as Justin closed his lips tightly around the length. Justin buried his face in Brian's pubic hair a set about sucking Brian's cock at a furious pace. He pulled Brian deep down his throat, pushing past his gag reflexes to challenge the last of Brian's resolve. Brian tightened his fists into Justin's hair and closed his eyes. This was all going exactly as he'd planned. 

Justin pulled back from Brian's cock and looked up at his face. "You don't want to cum like this. You want to fuck me. I want you to fuck me. Please Brian." Justin closed his lips around Brian's cock again and sucked it gently. When Justin raised his head again he could feel Brian reaching down to pull at his shoulders. 

'Bingo.' Justin thought. Now Brian was going to give him what he wanted. Brian pulled him to his feet and sighed against Justin's lips. He could smell himself on Justin's breath and he leaned in for a taste. Within seconds the light tasting gave way to a crushing breath-stealing kiss. 

"All you really ever had to say was 'please'. Brian taunted before leaning into the kiss again. He turned Justin and pushed him down against the mattress before crawling on top of him. "Open up for me." Brian breathed against Justin's neck. The man beneath him spread his thighs. 

Brian licked across Justin's throat and bit into the skin lightly. Justin hissed and tightened his grip on Brian's body. He could feel Brian's hands moving across his thighs and Justin pulled his knees up on either side of Brian's body. Brian was licking at his earlobe now and Justin turned his head to give Brian greater access. He was grinding himself against Brian's stomach as he thread his fingers through Brian's hair. 

"Fuck the foreplay Brian. Those pants alone were enough, not to mention the tape. Just fuck me." 

Brian chuckled against Justin's neck. "You didn't say please." 

"What the hell is it with you and good manners tonight?" Justin was getting desperate but Brian was having too much fun to stop his teasing. 

"Turn over." Brian pulled out of Justin's hug to kneel between his legs. "Go on. Let me see your ass." 

Justin got up on his knees and turned his back to Brian. He could feel Brian's eyes on his body as he slowly moved to rest his shoulders against the mattress leaving his ass high in the air. It didn't take long before he felt Brian's fingers trailing across his ass and between his cheeks. Justin reached above his head to grab a condom from the bowl and he thrust it over his shoulder and into Brian's fist. 

"Do it." 

Brian chuckled again at Justin's heightened desperation. "You don't want me to use lube?" He was really enjoying this. 

Justin looked up again to find the lube. The tube was nowhere to be found. What Justin didn't know was that Brian had stashed it under the edge of the mattress having planned this little exercise in sensual torture right down to the last detail. 

"I don't see it. Get another tube out of the drawer." 

"I was down to my last one. I haven't been to the drug store in a while." Brian kept his voice devoid of emotion even though he was grinning from ear to ear. 

"No fucking way. I know you Brian. You'd buy lube and condoms before you'd buy food. Stop playing around." Justin looked over his shoulder and caught Brian's grin. 

"I told you. I'm out of lube. But if you want I could be persuaded to provide a more natural source of lubrication." Brian licked his lips and watched the relief spread across Justin's face. 

"Lick me." Justin dropped his face back against the sheets as he waited for Brian to make his move. 

Brian leaned in and closed his lips over Justin's hole immediately. The torture would come to an end soon enough. His tongue pushed into the small contractions and Justin let out a low groan. Tonight the sounds Justin made would be the real thing. Brian grabbed at his cheeks and spread them wider as his tongue continued to wet Justin thoroughly. Justin's skin was hot under his hands and Brian pulled away from the pucker to kiss across Justin's cheeks and up his tailbone. Justin wiggled against Brian's face and begged for more. 

"Hold still Justin." Brian's breath was hot against Justin's skin. Brian pulled back to retrieve the tube of lube before crawling back across the bed to Justin's body. He had no intention of fucking Justin with just spit to ease the way. Brian settled himself at Justin's opening and rubbed his cock back and forth against the hole. He was tearing at the condom now and he moved away from Justin long enough to slip it on his dick and coat it with lubricant. "You still there?" Justin had gone silent since just after hearing the condom package being ripped open. 

"Yeah. Come on Brian, fuck me." Justin panted. 

Brian slipped into Justin's body easily. He held still for a second or two and listened for Justin to start breathing again. He was barely breathing himself as the muscles of Justin's ass contracted tightly around his length. 

"Oh God." Brian fell against Justin's back and wrapped an arm around Justin's body before reaching for his cock. "Breathe Justin." 

"Aaaaaaaah. Brian." Justin slitted his eyes and gripped the sheets above his head as Brian began to move inside him. He could feel the weight of Brian's body against his back and Justin pushed up into it. 

Brian eased in and out of Justin's body slowly. Justin threw his head back and Brian moved to kiss at the side of his face. They found their rhythm naturally and the sounds of their moans filled the loft. Brian's body covered Justin's and Justin reached back to grab at what he could of Brian's skin. They rocked against each other increasing the tempo of their movements and the depth of the strokes. Brian always started out shallow before moving to invade Justin completely. 

Justin reached down under their bodies to find Brian's balls and Brian moaned deep in his chest as he felt Justin's fingers caressing him. "Squeeze 'em Justin." Brian moaned against Justin's ear again as Justin tightened his hold ever so slightly. Justin rolled Brian's testicles around in his palm and pushed back into Brian's thrusts. They were still moaning loudly and Justin figured the noise from their twosome could easily rival the taped threesome any day. "Oh God." Brian licked across Justin's neck and bit into the skin there. He licked over the same spot again and crushed the skin beneath his lips. Justin bruised easily so Brian wouldn't have to work too hard to create a love bite that matched the one Justin had left him with a few nights before. 

"Aaaaaaaah. Brian...Oh fuck." Justin bit into the sheets under his face and arched his back as he felt his balls tighten. Brian pushed into him again and Justin released a primal growl. Brian was biting his back and Justin barely managed to speak his warning. "I'm gonna cum...Brian I'm gonna cum...Aaah." 

Brian's own orgasm was imminent and he tightened his grip on Justin's cock and moved in for a final stroke. They were both shaking violently now as their combined orgasms rocked through them. Brian could taste the salt of Justin's sweat on his tongue and he could smell their sex in the air. 

 

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Brian crawled out of the bed at a little passed eight and padded naked to the kitchen. He was hungry having eaten ass instead of eating his dinner. Justin lay sound asleep buried under the covers at the center of the bed. From the kitchen, Brian could barely see his small body for all the sheets and pillows that covered him. It was no wonder that Justin liked the idea of topping; he loved burying himself in tight warm spaces. This disjointed thought floated through Brian's mind. 

Brian grabbed at the containers on the counter and threw a disgusted look at the now congealed sauce. He rummaged through a container of spiced pork that still looked appetizing and popped a piece of meat into his mouth. He'd been in the middle of his counter picnic when he heard the knock at the door. Whoever it was had to have the entry code to the building or had snuck in unannounced. 

"Who is it?" Brian called out as he moved towards the closed door. 

"It's me." 

Brian smiled a little as he recognized the woman's voice. "Me who?" He was still in teasing mode. 

"Just open the fucking door and let us in." 

Brian pulled the door wide open and settled his eyes on Lindsay's face. 

"Asshole." Lindsay pushed past him into the loft. She'd been balancing Gus on her hip. If she'd even noticed the fact that Brian was naked, it certainly hadn't fazed her. 

"Thank you for that. Welcome to my home." Brian made a sweeping arm gesture towards the space behind him. He hadn't invited her in. Brian pulled the door closed and bobbed towards the kitchen counter. 

"Do you walk around naked all the time that you're home alone?" Lindsay set the sleeping baby down on the sofa and turned to follow Brian. His nakedness was now temporarily hidden behind the counter. 

"Who says I'm alone?" Brian stuffed another piece of pork into his mouth and watched as Lindsay froze to examine the darkened bedroom behind her for evidence of company. She didn't see anything on the bed but sheets and pillows. 

"There's someone else here? I had dinner at the diner. Michael said you'd been working late all week and that you were home tonight." 

"When was the last time you knew me to stay home alone?" Brian was chewing slowly as he leaned across the counter. "And why do you have Sonny Boy out so late? Where's Muncher Mel?" 

Lindsay cocked an eyebrow at Brian's burst of paternal concern. "Mel's at work and Gus has been napping all day. Plus this'll guarantee that I get to sleep right through the night tonight. So where is this guy anyway?" Lindsay scanned the loft again. "I'll put up with seeing you naked but other than my son, I don't want to see any other dicks tonight." 

"You know you love it." Brian teased. 

Lindsay dismissed his quip. "You're bad. You know that right? I came over here to talk to you about Justin because you haven't returned any of my calls, and what do I find you doing? Fucking around just like old times. I didn't see Justin at the diner and Debbie starts chattering to me about you doing something to him. I don't know where your head is right now Brian but you seriously have to stop what you're doing. I know for a fact that lots of shit is coming down the pipes for Justin very soon and I know he won't be able to handle any of it if you keep this up." Lindsay gestured towards Brian's nakedness. 

"Lindsay don't talk to me about Debbie's bullshit and before you stuff your foot any further down your throat you might want to go up and say hi to Justin." Brian gestured towards the bedroom. 

"Justin?" 

"Yeah Justin." Brian pushed away from the counter and moved to pick up the uneaten plates of food from the coffee table in the living area. He cast a quick look at his sleeping son before turning back towards the sink. 

"Sorry." Lindsay spoke meekly. "But I'm still pissed at you for not calling me back. I wanted to tell you about the stuff I heard from his mother." 

"His mother? Don't add her bullshit to this too." Brian threw her an annoyed look. 

"It's not her bullshit, it's his father's. She told me some stuff about how the man feels that I think you should be warned about." 

Brian huffed a little laugh and turned back to face the sink. He hit the switch for the trash compactor and fed the uneaten food to the mechanism. "I've heard all about the musings of Mr. Craig Taylor. I even have the swollen knuckles to prove it." Brian barked over his shoulder. 

"What? What happened?" Lindsay moved around the counter to stand next to him. 

"Knocking up Jennifer Taylor didn't give that man any right to do what he did to Justin. I helped him to see the error of his ways." Brian looked at her as he spat his words. 

"Shit Brian. What are you talking about?" 

"Justin saw his father on Tuesday so I've already heard first hand what the man thinks of him." Brian dropped the empty plates into the sink and ran the faucet for a few seconds to rinse them. 

"What did you do?" 

"We had a talk." 

"When since do your knuckles get bruised from talking?" Lindsay grabbed at Brian's hands to examine the extent of the damage. The knuckles of Brian's right hand were indeed pink and swollen. 

"Shit. You hit him!" 

Brian snatched his hands away and moved to clean up the containers on the counter. He'd abandoned his spiced pork when Lindsay's discussion topic became distasteful. 

"He fucking deserved it and you've gotta know that I'd do it again. That bastard has done worse to me." Brian chucked the containers into the take-out bag he'd stashed beside the counter. 

Lindsay reached around to grab at Brian's arm and she looked at him carefully. She started to smile a little as she looked at how upset Brian was and she realized how easily his mood had changed at talk of Justin being hurt by his father. "You did this for him. You are so fucked Brian. You love him so much." Lindsay smiled a little harder and continued to look at him. 

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and met Lindsay's eyes before answering. "So what if I do?" 

 

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Lindsay kept her eyes focused on Brian's face. They'd known each other for years and had been present for some of the most horrific and most wonderful moments of each other's lives. As a result of those experiences the two shared more of a bond than even the people closest to them could ever understand. Lindsay could feel the tension in Brian's arm as she held on to him and she read the anger their discussion had stirred in him from the set of his jaw. On top of the tension and the anger she was also reading something else from both Brian's spoken words and his silent communications.   
She was reading 'clarity'. 

Brian wasn't confused and he wasn't torn about anything he was saying. His feelings had become very clear to him and he wasn't afraid to speak them or act on them. 

"You love him." Lindsay uttered the words as a statement of fact as she reached up to touch his face. "God help us all Brian because I believe you." Falling in love and admitting it was something that she'd predicted would be next to impossible for Brian and Lindsay could see very clearly that living in love would be an even greater challenge. 

Brian dropped his eyes. He could feel the warmth of her hands on his face. "Is this the part where we're supposed to cry in light of the significance of my little revelation? Because if it is, then count me the fuck out." Brian pulled out of her hold just then and Lindsay wasn't surprised. In fact she'd been surprised that Brian had let her hold him for as long as he did. 

"Does he know? I mean he knows, hell we all knew, but did you tell him?" Lindsay followed him to the living area and tried to keep her voice low. She'd glanced quickly at the form under the covers that Brian had said was Justin. Brian grabbed the discarded shirt off the back of the sofa and sat down next to Gus. He used to shirt to cover himself as Lindsay came to sit on the coffee table in front of them. 

"Does who know what?" Brian had ignored the last part of her statement/question and opted instead to play dumb. 

"Justin. Did you actually tell him how you feel?" Lindsay suspected that getting Brian to admit his feelings didn't mean that he would admit them to the one person who it really mattered to. 

"We're not talking about this anymore." Brian turned to look at Gus now. The baby had taken to sucking on his thumb over the last few months and Brian had joked that it was a good sign that they wouldn't have a breeder on their hands. 

"Just this one more question." Lindsay pleaded with her eyes. 

Brian looked up at her and thought about just how much it would cost him for all of his friends to know. He'd been thinking about that when he asked Justin not to say anything for a while. Brian specifically thought about what this little piece of information would do to Michael. Deciding that Lindsay wouldn't leak the details until he was ready for everyone else to know, Brian responded to her question. "I told him. He knows." Lindsay sat back on the table and continued to eye him and Brian added, "You gonna look at me like that all night or are you gonna take your kid home so he can sleep in his own bed?" 

Lindsay kept smiling and then the teasing that Brian had expected began on cue. "I'll leave you two love birds to it then. Justin must be getting cold with you gone from the bed so long." Lindsay offered him a coy look as she bent over to pick up the baby. "Before I forget, in light of all I've heard here tonight..." Brian punctuated her statement by rolling his eyes. "...There was one other thing that I wanted to ask you." Lindsay caught the suspicious look he was throwing at her and quickly added, "It's not about you and Justin...I was hoping that you could take Gus on Saturday, maybe overnight? Mel and I have plans." 

"And what if I had plans?" Brian was genuinely glad for the change of topic. 

"You always have plans Brian. But since it's your son we're talking about and since you haven't taken him for an overnight in at least two months, you'll be more than happy to change your plans, right? Plus, I'm sure Justin would help if you asked nicely." Lindsay was back to teasing again and Brian was back to rolling his eyes. 

He got up from the sofa and tossed Justin's shirt in a heap on the coffee table. "And you wonder why I don't tell you shit?" Brian smiled as he crossed the room and pulled the door open. 

"You know I'm just playing with you. I mean now that you've crossed over to the dark side like other mere mortals I'll have someone to commiserate with on relationship stuff." Lindsay was still teasing a bit since she was well aware of Brian's second nature hatred of the word 'relationship'. 

"Out." He brushed his lips lightly over Gus' forehead before guiding Lindsay through the open door and locking it behind her. 

Brian had been replaying his conversation with Lindsay as he climbed the steps to the bedroom and crossed to the bathroom. He'd turned up the spray in the shower and had been rummaging through the stand in the corner of the room for conditioner when he heard Justin behind him. 

"What happened with you and my dad?" Justin had been wide-awake since Brian released the hold on his waist and left the bed in search of food. 

Brian turned to face him and set the bottle of conditioner on the counter. He took in the brilliant blue eyes. "How much did you hear?" 

"Everything." 

Brian watched him for a little bit before turning and opening the door to the shower stall. He'd forgotten the bottle on the counter and he turned again and picked up his conditioner before getting into the shower. 

"Brian." Justin watched him close the door behind him. "Brian. My father is my problem not yours. I don't want you making trouble for yourself where you don't have to." Justin continued to speak to Brian's form behind the glass. "My dad...my dad does things without thinking about it first...and...he could..." 

"Justin." Brian spoke up from behind the glass. "Since you heard what I said to Lindsay you don't have to ask me why I did it. Just leave it alone." Brian kept his back to Justin as he spoke. 

"Brian. You've seen first hand wha..." 

"Justin." Brian raised his voice a little this second time and for the longest while the only noise in the room was the sound of water striking at Brian's skin. "I'm going out later. Come if you want." 

Justin dropped his eyes to the slate floor in front of him before looking up at Brian's form again. He was quiet for a little while before saying anything else. "What time?" 

"Eleven." 

Justin sighed deeply. "Brian we have to talk ab..." 

"Go back to bed till then Justin." The man had whispered these words and Justin barely heard them above the water. Brian closed his eyes and turned his face into the spray. After about a minute or two he could hear Justin padding across the floor back into the bedroom. 

 

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"The prodigal son has returned." Emmett threw Justin a wide grin and a huge hug as soon as the younger man had made his way through the crowd to where the three friends stood. Emmett reached out to dust away some of the glitter that had fallen into Justin's hair. "We were worried when you didn't come out to play." Justin hadn't been seen by the trio since the events at Woody's on Monday night and all three men took keen note of the fact that Brian was nowhere in sight. 

"Hey you guys." Justin returned Emmett's hug and nodded a greeting in Ted's direction. Justin had made eye contact with Michael from across the room and had offered him a smile that was in vast contrast to the other man's guarded expression. Michael made a second attempt at his greeting by handing Justin a beer but he still hadn't managed much more than a wary smile. "Thanks." Justin accepted the proffered drink and turned to lean against the railing in front of them. 

"So you. How've you been? Where've you been?" Emmett knew that Justin wouldn't provide any explanation for his absence unless prodded. 

"Just haven't really felt like dancing, that's all." Justin took a sip of his drink and tried to turn his attention away from Emmett. 

"Where've you been then? I haven't seen you since Monday?" The way Emmett was pressing you'd have thought he was accustomed to seeing Justin at least twenty five hours a day. 

"Just hanging out." Justin called above the din of the music. 

"We haven't seen Brian since then either. Have you two at least been hanging out together?" Emmett drawled his question. 

Justin took another sip of his drink as the subject of the discussion appeared over Emmett's shoulder. He tore his attention from Emmett's questioning and studied Brian's approach. 

"I heard my name." Brian slipped the two little white pills on to his tongue before reaching towards Justin and grabbing the beer bottle. Justin released it easily enough and rested his elbows against the railing as he watched Brian's deep swallowing. Brian had been avoiding all talk of what had happened with Craig Taylor and Justin knew that getting drunk and high was another way for Brian to escape the discussion. They'd have to talk about this eventually but it definitely wouldn't be happening tonight. 

"Look who's here too. It's Brian! You've been just as elusive these last few days and now we have you both back on the same night. What a coincidence?" Emmett threw a look at Ted as if to say 'See, further proof that something is afoot.' Ted rolled his eyes and sipped at his own beer. 

Brian scrunched up his brows at Emmett's barely veiled sleuthing before turning his attention to Michael. "You missed me too?" 

Michael widened his previously half-dead smile before responding. "Why? Have you been somewhere? I hadn't noticed." Unlike Emmett and Ted, he'd talked to Brian every day this week and he already knew where Justin had been spending his time. 

Brian handed the bottle back to Justin only after he'd succeeded in relieving it of all its contents. Justin turned the bottle over and theatrically illustrated the fact that Brian had literally left him with droplets. 

"I was thirsty." Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and smiled as he watched Justin's little performance. "How ever will I pay you back?" The man reached out and grabbed the empty bottle with one hand before closing the fingers of his free hand into the fabric of Justin's t-shirt. He pulled Justin closer to him as he turned to stash the bottle on the bar next to where the group had been standing. 

"What if I just wanted you to get me another drink?" Justin was smiling as Brian slipped an arm around his waist. 

"Be right back." Brian offered these few words to the surprised looking group before moving Justin on to the dance floor. Michael turned and watched as Brian pulled Justin in close and the two began swaying to the rhythm around them. 

"Now what do you make of all that Mr. Holmes?" Ted offered his comment to a rapt Emmett. He'd expected Emmett to have already developed a full explanation/speculation within the seconds since the pair had begun their gyrations. 

"They're still fucking. That's for sure and I'd say they've already fucked once tonight." Emmett's musings were accurate but not entirely remarkable since sex was a safe assumption where this particular duo was concerned. 

"Would you two give it a rest already?" Michael addressed his comments primarily to Emmett. "Fine. You wanna know what's going on? Have I got a scoop for you." Michael bent in towards the other two as though he were about to reveal the secrets of the universe. "Brian and Justin have been spending nearly every waking minute together. They're crazy about each other and they can't get enough of each other. Brian has confessed his undying devotion and Justin has selected green as the color of the bridesmaids' gowns. I'd say this sounds just about as believable as the crap you've already been peddling so why don't you spread this story around too." The sarcasm practically dripped from Michael's voice. Despite his own suspicions, he couldn't admit publicly that there was even a grain of truth to anything that he'd just said. 

"Say something constructive or don't say anything at all." Emmett elbowed Michael in the ribs and then turned back to look at the dance floor again. He'd been all for believing Michael's little story right up until the part about the green gowns but that part had sounded wrong since he'd always thought that blue would go better with Justin's eyes. 

Brian and Justin continued their dance oblivious to the watchful eyes of the trio as well as a few of the other patrons around them. Emmett had indeed been fleshing out his suspicions with his own unique flair for storytelling and now half of Liberty was already buzzing that Sir Fuckalot was no longer on the prowl but now committed to the worship of a certain blonde king. Emmett had supplied the story with high drama and used Monday's events at Woody's and Justin's mysterious absence as the evidence of what he'd described as a spectacular showdown between Brian and Justin. 

There was even a brand new rumor, one not of Emmett's doing, circulating very quickly. According to this rumor Brian had even come to blows with a certain father over the object of his affections. The rumor mill certainly worked efficiently at delivering news about a fight that had taken place on the other side of the city only hours before. 

"I'm getting another drink. Ted you coming?" Michael turned away from the railing and Ted happily followed him. 

"Come on Em. There isn't much material in what they're doing anyway. Brian and Justin grinding at Babylon is old news remember." Ted teased as he reached for Emmett's Lycra covered arm. 

Brian focused his attention on keeping to the rhythm while at the same time expertly undoing the top few buttons on Justin's jeans. Fathers and friends had been long since forgotten. Tonight he just wanted to have some fun. 

"Brian what are you doing?" Justin could feel Brian's movements even though he couldn't see them because of the tight press between their bodies. 

"Everybody's looking at us so I'm giving them a show." Brian laughed his words against Justin's throat. 

"Show 'em yours not mine." Justin grinned and pulled out of Brian's hold on his waist as he redid the buttons. He'd stepped back into Brian's reach when the man started pulling at the buttons of his own jeans. "The sick part is that I know that you'd actually do it." Justin settled his face in the crook of Brian's neck as the man's arms encircled him again. 

Five songs later the pair hadn't left the dance floor and Brian hadn't released his hold on Justin's body. The two had danced every song pressed against each other while Brian whispered nasty little things in Justin's ear. Brian had explained the uses that one could make of an empty beer bottle and Justin revealed the offer he'd received for just the kind of activity that Brian was suggesting. 

"What did you tell him?" Brian pulled back from Justin's face after the younger man had finished describing the proposition in vivid detail. 

"I told him he couldn't do it to me but that I'd be all too happy to do it to him." Justin wiggled his hips under Brian's hands and stepped in a little closer. Brian huffed a little laugh and ground his pelvis against Justin's body again. Justin could feel the growing attention and he brought his lips to Brian's ear as he spoke his next few words. "You know if you keep this up people might actually think that you like me or something." Justin smiled against the skin on Brian's neck and prepared himself for Brian's scathingly witty rebuttal. 

"From what Michael says they're already pretty sure of that." Brian finished his statement as Justin pulled back to look at him. "Emmett's been spreading stories." 

"And you'll no doubt work overtime tonight to prove these stories wrong?" Justin wasn't entirely prepared to spend the rest of the evening watching Brian tricking to prove his single-hood and he was starting to wish that they'd just stayed in and gone back to bed. 

Brian eyed him steadily before finally responding by leaning in and sealing his lips over Justin's mouth. Justin reached up to hold on to the back of Brian's neck as Brian pulled him in even closer. They kissed like that for several minutes before Brian released him slowly and stared at Justin's half-opened eyes. He moved in towards Justin's ear. "Lindsay knows. It's just a matter of time before everyone else does too. That doesn't matter just as long as you remember the ground rules." 

Justin closed his eyes again and thought of the trade-offs. Now he had a relationship with Brian, albeit a very sexually open one in which it was like pulling teeth to talk about anything important. 

 

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"Hello." Jennifer whispered as she picked up the telephone on her bedside table. Molly had been tucked in beside her and sleeping soundly again for the last two hours having woken earlier from a bad dream. 

"Jennifer, it's Kathleen. I'm glad that you're still up." The woman's voice boomed out of the receiver. 

"Kathleen it's after one. Why are you calling?" Jennifer addressed her soon to be ex mother-in-law with a biting tone. 

"I'm calling to find out whether or not you're aware of the shame your son has brought on this family yet again." 

"Justin? What are you talking about?" Jennifer reached over to rub Molly's back as the little girl started to stir in her sleep. 

"I just got off the phone with Craig and I'm disgusted by the things he told me." 

"Okay. I don't want the sermon tonight alright. I'll just say goodnight Kathleen." Jennifer moved to hang up the phone as civilly as she could. She'd already been treated to repeated descriptions of Kathleen Taylor's outrage at Justin's 'lifestyle'. 

"No you don't. You listen to me. My son is going to press charges. He wanted to find this Kinney man and beat him senseless but I told him to press charges. That bastard had no right. Craig had clients with him. Everyone heard what that bastard said and saw what he did. Craig will never live this down. All because you don't have any idea about how to control your own son." The woman spat across the line. 

"What? Kathleen what are you talking about?" Jennifer was passed just mere annoyance at the call. She'd momentarily forgotten her sleeping daughter after the last few things the other woman had said and she spoke loud enough to wake Molly up. 

"I'm talking about that lothario that Justin has taken up with. That man attacked Craig today in the middle of a restaurant in the middle of the lunch hour. Craig's black and blue from what that bastard did." 

"Brian? Craig saw Brian today?" Jennifer saw images of the rage her husband had directed towards Justin just two days before and she could only guess at what the man must have done when faced with the true focus of his anger. 

"Didn't you hear what I said? This Brian attacked Craig and hit him repeatedly. I've told Craig that he should press charges. Nobody can hit someone like that for no reason and get away with it. My God, hasn't this man done enough damage to this family. Our reputation alone has been ruined and now he wants to make a direct impact on Craig's livelihood." The woman continued her rant across the telephone line. Craig Taylor had obviously spared his mother the details of his destroying Brian's car and his vicious mauling of the man outside Babylon. 

"Kathleen you don't have any idea what you're talking about so stop counseling Craig to make this situation any worse." 

"How can it become any worse? Your son is sleeping with another man. He's having sex with a man nearly twice his age and that man has made it his life's work to destroy my son and destroy the good reputation my husband has worked hard to attach to our name." 

"Damn it Kathleen. Would you just keep out of this? For once in our lives, would you let Craig deal with his own problems without your input and your dictates?" Jennifer spat into the phone and ignored Molly's pleading to tell her what was going on. 

"I know how to take care of my family. I know how to keep things together. All you've managed to do by telling Justin that it's okay for him to live this way is push this Kinney man further and further into our lives and Craig's damned well not going to stand for it anymore." The woman slammed the receiver down and Jennifer only realized that she was shaking when she made a trembling attempt to settle her own phone in its cradle. 

"Mommy what's wrong? Why's Gamma so mad at you?" Molly face was full of concern. 

Jennifer pulled the girl on to her lap and thought about what the woman had said. She looked back at the clock on the nightstand. She'd call Justin just as soon as she settled Molly back to sleep. Brian had just managed to up the stakes in an already dangerously cruel game. 

 

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Michael was slumped into a chair on a platform overlooking the dance floor. Emmett had gone to dance with some guy he'd picked up at the bar but Ted still sat beside Michael. 

"You know that if you asked to cut in I'm sure Justin would let you dance with him." Ted cocked his head towards to the only two people on the dance floor who hadn't changed partners all night. 

Michael rolled his eyes before dropping his beer bottle on the floor beside his foot. "I don't see you dancing with anyone." 

"Well, you know my problem and I'm guessing that I know yours." Ted gestured towards himself to indicate that he was his own problem before turning to gesture towards the dance floor and the source of Michael's problem. 

"Brian is not my problem. You guys are." Michael got up from his seat and leaned against the railing in front of him. 

"You know that there are a million other guys in here checking you out right." Ted got up to stand beside him and touched a hand to Michael's arm. 

"Yeah, right. I'm gonna head out okay?" Michael pulled his arm out from under Ted's hand and moved away from the railing. 

"What? You're not even gonna check to make sure he has someone to drive him back home?" Ted teased from where he still stood. Michael offered him the finger and a small smile as he moved off towards the exits. 

Just below them on the dance floor Justin had pulled out of Brian's hold on his waist when he felt the little phone vibrating against his thigh. Brian had felt it too and he teasingly pulled Justin against his body again. "More. That felt good." Whatever Brian had taken earlier had definitely kicked in and now Brian was high and in full predator mode, a very potent combination. 

"Wait a second." Justin placed a hand against Brian's chest to hold him back as he read the display in changing light levels. "It's my mom. Something's gotta be wrong. I've gotta call her back." He quickly stepped out of Brian's grabbing fingers and moved towards the doors. 

In the ten seconds since Justin had walked away three different men invaded Brian's personal space eager to catch his attention. Brian eyed the men through the drug haze that obscured his vision. He selected a dance partner quickly and pulled the man towards him. The man folded himself into Brian's hold as Brian reached around to grab the guy's ass. 

"I'm Jessie. My friends call me Jess." The man pressed his lips to Brian's ear and spoke above the beating rhythm of the music. From what Brian could see of him he had curly blonde hair. 

"I didn't ask you that and I'm not your friend." Brian responded nonchalantly as he continued to grind his previously hard cock against the shorter man's belly. 

The other man smiled a little having been warned about Brian's use 'em and toss 'em attitude. He reached up Brian's leg to touch his hand to Brian's balls. He planned on having a good story to tell and finally getting Brian Kinney to fuck him would make for a great story. Having also been warned about Brian's potentially new found status as part of a couple, the man was trying to get Brian off the dance floor before Justin came back. "Can I suck your cock?" 

"I don't know. Can you?" Brian teased the other man for his eagerness. 

"I mean...I...want to..." Jessie was quickly losing his composure in the face of actually dancing with Brian and feeling his hands on his body. 

"I know what you want to do." Brian drowsily eyed the other man's lips. They were flushed and pink and reminded Brian of Justin's lips. Brian's drug addled mind was finally recording the fact that Justin had gone somewhere and he pulled out of the other man's grip and looked around the crowd for Justin's blonde head. He slowly weaved his way towards the flight stairs at the corner of the room. One set of stairs led upstairs to the exits and the other led downstairs to the backroom. Brian chose the stairs down to the backroom. All the time that he'd been moving through the fog in his mind and the crowd in the club, he'd been dragging young Jessie by the belt loops behind him. 

 

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"Mom. What's going on?" Justin stuffed a finger into his other ear in an attempt to drown out some of the noise around him. He'd managed to make it outside the club but the crowd waiting to get in still made it difficult to hear anything. 

"Justin?" Jennifer could here the noise around him more clearly than she could hear his voice. She'd called Debbie's first and woken up both Vic and Debbie in an attempt to find Justin. To her great concern she'd learned that her son had spent both the previous night and day with Brian. Jennifer had regrouped and had even called the loft having been very certain that if Brian and Justin were there they wouldn't be asleep. She'd tried Justin's cell phone as a last resort when Brian's terse answering machine message came across the line. "Justin? I can barely hear you. Where are you?" 

"Mom. Are you okay? Is Molly okay?" Justin got to the point quickly. He hadn't talked to his mother since she'd dropped him off at Debbie's on Tuesday afternoon. 

"We're fine. It's nothing like that. Justin I need to talk to you about something. Can you get somewhere less noisy?" Jennifer tried not to raise her voice too much so as not to wake Molly who was now asleep in the other room. 

"It's not gonna get any quieter than this Mom. If you guys are okay, why don't I just call you in the morning?" Justin yelled his response into the phone. 

"No. I need to talk to you tonight." 

"Mom. The only way I can leave here now is to take Brian with me and he's..." Justin paused. What exactly was the proper protocol for telling your mother that your lover was having way too much fun to want to leave the club just yet and too wasted to get himself home without your help? 

"Justin. Let Brian look after himself. I need to talk to you." 

"He can't Mom and if it's not an emergency then I can't leave. I'll call you first thing in the morning, okay?" 

"Justin." The woman pleaded into the phone. 

"Mom, say it's okay so I can go." Justin waited for her response. He didn't want to hang up on her or cut her off. 

"Fine Justin but you call me first thing." 

Justin listened for her to hang up before slipping the phone back into his pocket. He'd turned around to go back inside and instead had walked right into Michael. "You know you can go if you need to. I can take Brian home." 

"No. I'll take him home, I'm going back with him anyway." Justin ignored the fact that not once since he'd known Brian had he ever been sure the man would take him home after a night at the clubs. 

Michael considered Justin's response for a few seconds before turning again to walk away. He turned around again when he was a few feet away and offered Justin a small smile. "I told you that you'd go back." 

Justin looked at Michael before turning and walking back to the entrance of the club. 

 

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Brian leaned heavily against the cool wall. His mind told him that he'd taken two hits of Ecstasy but his body was telling him that that wasn't what he'd done. His skin felt hot and he was hypersensitive to the light and the touch of the man kneeling in front of him. He watched disjointed from the action as his own hands wound themselves into the curls of the man's head. He could feel the guy's tongue against his balls and he wanted to laugh out because the guy's technique was tickling him. Brian closed his eyes for a few seconds and opened them to find Justin looking back at him from the other side of the room. For a while Brian couldn't distinguish between Justin's presence at least twenty feet away from him and the sensations that were now coursing through his body. His mind was telling him that everything he was feeling was as a direct result of what Justin's mouth was doing to him. 

Justin deflected two offers to show him the night of his life as he continued to watch Brian across the room. Brian had been looking at him for the last several minutes and Justin didn't like what the saw. This wasn't like watching Brian and some past trick on a tape. This was watching Brian in living color. The man who'd made love to him less than a few hours before and who'd held him close all night had slipped away with someone else in the minutes that he'd been gone. Justin kept his eyes planted on Brian's face and willed him to push the trick aside and come back to him. 

Brian closed his eyes before opening them again to look down at Justin sucking at his cock. The other man looked up at him just then and Brian saw brown eyes not blue. He saw a different nose and hair that was way too long and he saw freckles where the skin should have been perfectly even. Brian looked back across the room and found Justin's stare again and he reached out to him just as his own head exploded into a million colors and sounds. He was cumming now and the man on his knees in front of him was relentless. Brian closed his eyes again and grabbed at the back of the man's head. He held on tight as the last of his orgasm bled away through his buzzing body. 

Justin had watched it all. He crossed the room slowly and continued to watch as Brian did up his pants. The trick was getting to his feet and Brian was ignoring whatever the man was saying to him as Justin got closer and closer. Brian pushed the man aside and stepped forward to greet Justin with one word. 

"Sorry." Brian definitely had to be high and out of his mind if he was going to apologize for getting caught tricking less than three hours after reminding Justin of the ground rules. 

Brian's grinning response threw Justin off balance and he reached around to support Brian's weight as the man stumbled against him. "Brian what did you take?" Brian's eyes were swimming and dark and even in the dim light his pupils looked way too dilated. 

"I have no fucking idea." Brian smiled a little drowsily and Justin watched him become fascinated by the look of his own hands. "But whatever it was I took two of them." Brian held up five fingers to demonstrate his point. 

"You're totally fucked up. I'm getting you some water and then we're going back to the loft." Justin steered the taller man up the stairs and out of the room. 

"And when we get there you'll be the one who's totally fucked." Brian thought his own joke was hilarious and he almost fell backwards on the stairs as he laughed at it. 

 

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Half an hour later Justin had fed Brian a bottle of water and gotten Ted to help him put the man into the Jeep. Brian had been just about asleep as Justin put the car in gear and fumbled with the clutch. He hated driving stick and the ride back to the loft would definitely be a bumpy one. 

Driving with the cool air on his face was starting to wake Brian up a bit and now Justin wished Brian would go back to being half out of his mind and drowsy again. With the exception of Michael, Brian absolutely hated the thought of anyone else around the wheel of his car but him. Brian had awoken to find himself folded against the passenger seat with a bottle of cold water in his lap and he'd promptly tossed the bottle out the window before turning to eye Justin angrily. 

"You're stripping my fucking gears?" Brian hissed at Justin as the Jeep lurched forward and the engine groaned audibly. 

"I'm not. Just relax." The Jeep lurched again and Brian had heard enough. 

"Pull over." Brian grabbed for the steering wheel and missed it by several inches. He'd felt a little steadier when it came to reality but his vision was still very blurry. 

"I plan to arrive alive so you're not driving." Justin pushed Brian's hands back into his lap and focused on the road again. 

"And I plan to be able drive my car again in the near future so you're not torturing it anymore." Brian rubbed at his eyes in an attempt at clearing them. "Are you even pressing the clutch when you change gears?" 

"Yes. We'd be stalled already if I wasn't doing that." 

"We're fucking stalling now." The engine revved violently and the Jeep shuddered around them. "Jesus Christ Justin. Somewhere there are fucking cruelty laws about doing shit like this to a car." Brian reached for the steering wheel again as Justin struggled to remedy his mistake. 

"I was doing fine until you woke up and started freaking me out so would you just shut the fuck up?" Justin was sweating and nervous as the few cars that were still on the road whizzed by them and Brian was definitely making it worse. "You're acting like it's the first time I've driven us back." He'd in fact retraced the route to the loft several times and earned Brian's wary compliments on a few of those occasions. Tonight as annoying as Brian was being, Justin figured that the man's nerves were just shot from the drugs. 

Brian slumped against the seat as the sound of the engine started to grate at his ears. "You fucking suck at this?" 

"And you're too fucking wasted to do any better so shut up." Justin snapped as he turned off Tremont and on to Ross Street. Brian was mumbling something nasty under his breath as Justin pulled up in front of the building. "We're here and you're not dead and your Jeep's not dead. Can anyone say 'thank you Justin'?" Justin paused a little before adding. "I didn't think so." 

He'd walked around to the other side of the Jeep before Brian had even managed to get one foot out the passenger side door. 

"Are you going to fucking help or just watch me fall on my face?" 

"If you did fall you'd probably just blame me for making the concrete so hard." Justin laughed a little as he reached forward to pull Brian into a standing position by the side of the car. Getting Brian's legs to respond to the simple task of taking the low step up on to the curb was an entirely different matter. 

"Don't forget the alarm." Brian had taken a slightly shaky step towards the front door and now he turned back to look at Justin over his shoulder. He watched Justin lock the door and he listened to the familiar tones of the alarm being armed. 

"Wait up. There's no way I can pick you up if you actually fell over." Justin reached a hand around Brian's waist as the two slowly crossed the sidewalk towards the steps at the front of the building. 

Brian felt the crushing against his chest somewhere between taking his next step and watching Justin fumble with the keys. He realized that he was lying flat on his back from the new angle the world had taken on. Justin was still standing somewhere next him and Brian figured he'd fallen over just as Justin had predicted. He'd been about to reach up to Justin for help scraping himself off the sidewalk when the world went black with the first blow to his side. 

"Dad!" Justin didn't even have time to process the fact that Brian wasn't standing beside him anymore before his father pounced. Justin screamed at the man and moved to intercept him before he could kick at Brian's side again. He was too late and Brian doubled up as the man's boot found his rib cage again. "Stop! Get off him." Justin threw all his weight against his father's form and managed to push the man back a few steps. 

"Get out of my way Justin." The man shoved Justin back violently and rushed towards the figure on the ground again. Brian had been reeling from the pain in his side and he fought to get himself to his feet in the few seconds that Justin had bought him. He wouldn't have had enough time to get up even if he had been sober and he felt the kick to his gut as the other man came to loom above him again. "You goddamned bast..." Craig drew back for another blow and stopped in mid-movement as he felt Justin's fist hit the side of his face. He'd been stunned enough by the blow to give Justin the time to pull a writhing Brian to his feet and push him against the Jeep. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" Justin had positioned himself between Brian and his father and he'd turned to face his father's angry stare. 

"You get the hell out of the way." The man watched intently as Brian braced himself against the sideboard of the Jeep and forced himself to straighten up. Craig had watched as the Jeep pulled up to the curb and he'd steeled himself for taking on the man who'd knocked him to the ground earlier that same day. Craig Taylor had hissed angrily when he spotted his son getting out of the car but he'd smiled deviously when he realized from Brian's staggering just how far gone the other man was. 

"No. You get the fuck out of here before I call the cops." Justin tried to keep one eye on his father and one eye on Brian behind him. 

"Call the fucking cops..." The man rushed towards Brian again. "...And then I'll explain to them why I killed this pervert." Craig Taylor snarled as he grabbed at Justin's shirt and pushed him aside. He stopped only momentarily to eye Brian angrily. Brian had managed to straighten up but hadn't managed to catch his breath having had the wind knocked out of him by the man's last blow. The older man had let his fist fly towards Brian's face just then and he'd watched dumbstruck as it connected with Justin's temple and not Brian's. His son having thrown himself in front of Brian at the last second. 

Justin dropped to his knees in front of his father and fought to hold the man's attention even as the night had started to close in on his peripheral vision. His head was swimming and he could feel the blood dripping into his eye. His father's blow had managed to split the skin above his left eyebrow and nothing but sheer will was holding Justin up in those next few seconds. 

The man pulled his eyes between his son's face and his own fist. Craig Taylor had put everything he had into that punch and he'd intended to do nothing less than level Brian Kinney. He'd meant to hit the man with such a force so as to knock him senseless. He'd hoped to hurt Brian and he'd even hoped to make him bleed. With Justin as a witness he'd hoped to show his son something of what Brian really was. After all, his mission ever since he'd discovered the man's existence had been to open Justin's eyes to his terrible mistake and to get his son as far away from Brian Kinney as possible. 

He was angry but he wasn't angry with Justin. He'd never intended to level Justin and he'd never intended to make him bleed. 

Justin eyed his father steadily even though every part of his body wanted to crumple to the ground and close his eyes. He could feel the dirt under his hands as he knelt on the sidewalk and he could hear Brian's labored breathing behind him. 

"That one didn't bring me back to my senses either Dad. Maybe one more would do the trick." 

Craig Taylor reeled at the sight of Justin's blood. He hadn't been privy to witnessing the actual effects of Christian Hobbes' bat having never come to the hospital that night. The closest he'd come to seeing the tangible evidence of the attack was the close up that one of the news stations had shown of the puddle of blood in the parking garage. The man had never even gotten a proper look at Justin's scar having just glimpsed it as the teen eyed him down only a few days earlier. He watched as the blood ran down Justin's cheek and ran into his eye. The man had never seen his son's face marred with blood and he'd never imagined that he would be the one to cause it. 

Justin's body swayed slightly and a still barely breathing Brian made a decision. Either stay standing, his best defense for when Craig Taylor finally turned his rage back on him, or catch Justin before he hit the ground. Brian dropped to his own knees behind Justin's body and grabbed for him just as Justin slumped forward towards the pavement. He brought Justin's head up to lean back against his shoulder and eyed the other man. 

"You wanna hit him again?" Brian's words sounded choked as he barely managed to pull enough air into his lungs to finish his sentence. He watched angrily as the other man staggered back a few steps before turning back towards his car. The man had looked over his shoulder a couple of times and he'd been watching when Justin finally passed out. 

 

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"Mr. Kinney you'll be happy to know that your x-rays don't show any broken bones. There's quite a bit of tissue damage and the bruising will probably be present for the next few weeks at least." The woman pulled back the curtain as she entered the room and slipped Brian's x-rays on to the light board beside the bed. 

"Then why the fuck can't I breathe?" Brian opened his eyes and looked up at the woman. She'd been studying the black and white images and she turned to press at Brian's side again. 

"Well you've suffered another similar injury within the last year so I suspect the area will be quite sensitive for a little while. Your lungs are clear and you'll feel a bit better as soon as your system is able to handle the medication." Brian had had to stick the last few hours out without anything for the pain because he was still coming down off whatever he'd taken earlier. The woman checked him over again and Brian watched as she signed off on his chart. She'd prescribed a heavy dosed pain reliever but Brian intended to rely on his own private stash. He sat up slowly and pulled his shirt over his head as the woman continued her scribbling. He stood up from the bed gingerly. 

Brian stepped into his shoes and grabbed his jacket as he moved through the doorway and out into the corridor. At three-thirty in the morning the emergency room hadn't been very busy but the triage nurse had still managed to have he and Justin waiting for an hour before they were seen. Brian moved towards the woman at the desk and stopped in front of her. He'd had a few choice words for her at around the half-hour mark of watching Justin sopping at his head with gauze. Brian had found it difficult to understand why Justin wasn't considered serious enough to be seen right away. After all Justin had suffered a very severe head injury within the last three months and he'd blacked out from this one. 

"What examination room is Justin Taylor in?" Brian addressed the woman dryly. 

The woman looked up at him only momentarily before checking her chart. "Room four. It's that way." She extended an arm to point the way and then promptly dropped her head back to her work again. Brian would have offered her his best in sneers if he'd even given a shit about offending her. He turned away from the counter and walked in the direction that she'd suggested. 

"Hey." Justin called to him from around the nurse who'd just finished dressing his cut. 

"What'd they say?" 

"It's not bad. Doesn't need stitches or anything." 

"What about you passing out?" 

"My blood sugar was really low. Remember we skipped dinner." Justin smiled a bit at remembering the fact that he'd eaten very little of his Thai takeout. All Brian saw was the two little white strips holding the cut closed. 

"You can take the bandage off later today and wash the area with just water. Aside from that you should probably take it easy for the next day or so. This will heal up on its own and it probably won't leave a mark." The woman patted Justin on the shoulder and picked up her tray before moving towards the door. Brian stood aside out of her way before crossing the room towards where Justin sat at the side of the examination table. 

Justin hopped down from the bed and Brian carefully knelt down to help him put on his sneakers. "Thanks." Justin steadied himself with a hand on Brian's shoulder. He was still feeling dizzy and he really wanted to lie down. "What about you?" 

"I'll live. Come on. We'll get a cab back." Brian slipped a hand around Justin's waist as they moved through the doorway and back out into the corridor. 

 

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Jennifer pulled up in front of the loft at just after nine the next morning. She'd dropped Molly off at friends and gone to Debbie's when she couldn't get any answer on Justin's cell phone or at the loft. Vic had told her that Justin was definitely with Brian so Jennifer had made her way over there determined to see Justin whether or not he expected her visit. She rounded the corner and pulled up behind Brian's Jeep. At nine o'clock on a Friday morning Brian was still at home and it would seem that she would have the chance to talk to him as well. 

Jennifer hit the intercom button to the loft and waited for someone to pick up. She waited for only a few seconds before putting her finger over the buzzer again. Someone was coming out the door just then and she stood aside to let the woman pass. She watched the woman walk away and managed to slip inside just as the door was about to close. She wouldn't bother to think about the reasons why neither Brian nor Justin was answering the door. 

The elevator wound its way to the top floor and Jennifer emerged slowly and crossed the hallway to the door. She knocked a few times and then waited. She'd been about to knock again when she heard Brian swearing and heard him making his way towards the door. 

"Who the fuck is it?" Brian was hung over and in pain and the sound of the buzzer had almost driven him out of his mind; the sound had been constant as though someone had been holding a finger over top of the button. He'd gotten up to disconnect the feed to the intercom when the buzzing finally stopped and he'd been in the kitchen refilling Justin's icepack when the knocking started at the front door. 

The woman stood aside in the doorway and spoke up. "It's Jennifer Taylor. Is Justin here?" 

Brian stopped in mid-stride as he heard the woman's voice and he turned to look back at Justin's crumpled form on the bed. Brian reached for the door and pulled it open. He eyed the woman in front of him and she eyed the bruises that had formed on his bare chest. Kathleen Taylor hadn't described the fight in vivid detail but Jennifer had never doubted that Brian and Craig's confrontation had been serious. "Justin's asleep." Brian spoke flatly. He'd had enough of parents to last him a lifetime, his own parents and now Justin's. 

"I'd like to see him if I could." The woman met Brian's eyes and stepped into the loft as the man stood aside. She noticed the icepack in his hand and she figured he'd gotten it for his own obvious injuries. Jennifer walked slowly towards the bedroom and kept an eye on the jean-clad man as he moved behind the kitchen counter and pulled the refrigerator open. He obviously wasn't going into the office this Friday morning. 

She turned her attention back towards the bedroom and climbed the steps to stand next to the bed. She'd never seen the bed from this angle and she'd never actually seen Justin lying in it. From where she now stood the bed looked huge and her son looked smaller than he'd looked since she'd seen him in the hospital. She couldn't see his face but she could see the rigid set of his shoulders. "Sweetheart?" She reached out to touch Justin tentatively and he stirred under her touch and turned towards her. "Oh my God. What happened to your face?" 

There was a puffy bruise on Justin's forehead and Jennifer could see the dried blood peaking out from between the two strips of medical adhesive that were holding the small gash closed. She turned to face Brian who had climbed the steps to stand behind her. "What happened to his face?" 

Brian smiled wryly and tossed the icepack on the bed beside Justin before moving off towards the bathroom. He threw his words over his shoulder as he slid the bathroom door closed. "We got mugged." 

Jennifer threw a distressed look back at her son and pleaded with him to tell her what had happened. "Justin. What happened to you?" 

Justin pulled himself to a sitting position and stashed the icepack on the nightstand. He not only succeeded in moving the cold bag away from his side but he also succeeded in drawing his mother's attention towards the bowl of condoms on the stand. "Dad happened to me." Justin adjusted the pillows and relaxed against them again. "He was waiting for us when we got back here last night. He did that to Brian's side and he did this to me." 

"What? He did what?" Jennifer was reeling. Brian maybe, but she'd never expected Craig to attack Justin. "He hit you?" 

"Yeah Mom. He hit us. He kicked Brian in the ribs until he couldn't breathe." His mother seemed to be having trouble acknowledging the fact that Brian had also been a victim in the altercation. 

"Your grandmother called me last night and told me what Brian did. Your father is out of his damned mind where Brian is concerned and I knew all that Brian did would only serve to make everything worse." The woman had picked up the icepack and was now trying to touch it to Justin's head. 

Justin pushed her hand back. "All that Brian did?" 

"Brian hit your father yesterday. He actually hit him in a restaurant. I'm betting Brian didn't bother to tell you that he did that." 

"You're betting wrong and what about everything that Dad's done? Everything he's done to Brian and everything that he's done to me. What about all that Mom?" 

"Justin. Two wrongs do not make a right. Brian should have known better." She was kneeling on the platform that ran around the edge of the bed. 

"Damn it Mom. Stop trying to sweep away what Dad did. Stop trying to make things all civilized and make everything add up." Justin pushed back the sheets and stood up. His head swam with the sudden movement and Jennifer reached out to steady him. He pushed her hand away and leaned himself against the doorway of the bedroom. Brian came back into the room just then and eyed him for a few seconds before moving off down the stairs and back to the kitchen. 

"Brian. Look at Justin's face. You've seen what Craig can be like. How could you do...?" She was following him into the kitchen and her voice trailed off as she caught sight of the expression on Brian's face. 

"Mom don't start this shit again. Brian didn't do anything to me and it's not his fault." Justin made another attempt to put himself between Brian and one of his parents and Brian immediately saw what he was trying to do. 

"Justin go back and lie down." 

"No." Justin eyed him defiantly and Brian slammed the glass he'd been holding on to the counter and turned to face Jennifer. 

"You think I'm the worst thing that has ever happened to Justin and you think I'm the worst bad luck that has ever happened to your family. I fucking know what you think of me so you don't need to waste your time saying anything else." Brian addressed her angrily before turning back to look at Justin again. "Go lie down." 

Justin slowly drew back towards the bedroom and pushed the glass panes open so that he could see the kitchen area. His mother looked like she was about to burst and Justin wasn't sure that Brian could withstand another assault. 

"My son deserves more." Jennifer's voice was quiet at first and it got louder as she got her thoughts together and finally spoke the words she'd been meaning to say to Brian Kinney from day one. "He deserves peace in his life. He deserves to be happy. He does not deserve to be hurt all the time and he doesn't deserve the way you wreak havoc in his life. I am not defending anything that Craig has done to you but I know that you must see where it's coming from." The woman kept her voice strong despite the throbbing of the vein at Brian's temple. 

"Where it's coming from? I'll tell you where it's coming from. You and your husband fucking hate what I am. You hate the very idea of what I do and you especially hate the idea of what I do with Justin. This is coming from hate. Not love. Hate. So don't give me any of your bullshit about your son deserving to be happy. Neither of you has ever fucking asked him whether or not he's happy with his life or whether he's happy with what he's doing." Brian threw the dishtowel he'd been holding into the sink and leaned back against the fridge. Justin didn't like the look he saw in Brian's eyes and Jennifer Taylor liked it even less. 

"I believe that you think that you're trying to do right by Justin. But you're not." The woman was tearing up now but she continued speaking. "I can't stop him from seeing you and I can't stop anything that's happening with you, Justin or his father. All I know is that when you're tired of him he'll be left to deal with the aftermath of all this and I'm asking you to think before you do things that can only have a negative impact on Justin's life." 

"Mom." Justin spoke up from the bedroom and Brian silenced him with a look. 

"I don't give a fuck what you think about my motives. You don't know shit about me or about what's going on between Justin and me." 

"I know that Craig's family is pushing him to press charges, I know that Justin has come to rely on you more than he should and I know that you do not love my son." The woman clenched her fists and spat her words through her tears. "He deserves more and when you finally get tired of having him warming your bed all that will be left for him is the reality of what's happened. His family is already long gone and he'll see that he has wasted..." Jennifer's words trailed off as her tears overcame her. She truly wasn't angry with Brian. She was simply desperately afraid for her son. 

Brian stood and looked at her for a few minutes. He watched tears fall against her cheeks and he looked back towards Justin standing by the panes in the bedroom. Brian was agitated and Justin saw the way he'd folded his arms around his body. Despite his discomfort Brian's voice was steady when he finally spoke. "I've hurt Justin a million times already and I'll probably hurt him a million more times before he's done with me. He's not stupid. He knows me and he knows that I care about him." 

"That's not good enough." The woman's voice quaked. 

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth to stifle the bitter half-laugh that was threatening its way up his throat. "It doesn't matter whether or not you think it's good enough." Brian watched as the woman pressed her face into her hands and turned to face Justin in the bedroom. 

"Justin? What happens next? You all keep bruising each other in the street? Your father has just attacked you so you go back and attack him in another restaurant when he's not expecting it? Your father presses charges and then Brian presses charges and then we all meet in a courtroom in a few months?" 

"Mom it's not like that." 

"Then tell me how it is. Brian should have known better. Your father should have known better. This is only going to get worse. Saying that you have your eyes open doesn't make the situation any better. It only makes it worse if you're willing to walk blindly into what Brian is doing." 

"Brian isn't doing anything. Why can't you hear that?" Justin was getting angry now and he moved back towards the doorway so that he could see his mother more clearly. "God, Mom. I need your help. I don't need for you to blame everything on Brian." 

"Justin please let me take you back over to Debbie's. For that matter, please let me take you home." The woman pleaded with him as she moved towards him. 

"For what?" Justin looked at her carefully. "You think that if I leave here anything will be any different? You think I won't come back here?" 

"I wish to God that you wouldn't come back here but I know that you will." The woman spoke weakly and stopped moving towards her son. 

"Shit Mom. Do you really think that it would change anything if I came with you? Do you think Dad would hate me any less. Do think that we could forget everything and pretend that my own grandparents don't hate me." Justin sighed heavily. "I love Brian. That's the root of the problem here and it's not going to go away any time soon." 

Jennifer stood with her back turned to Brian as she tearfully spoke to her son. "But Sweetheart he doesn't love you." 

Brian dropped his eyes to the hardwood floor in front of him as he heard this last comment. He figured he didn't really stand much of a chance of changing the woman's opinion so he'd actually made his next statement for Justin's benefit. "You're wrong about that but like I said I don't give a fuck whether or not that's good enough for you." Brian had fixed his attention on the woman's tear-stained face as she turned back to look at him. 

"Those are just words Brian." Jennifer stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jacket and moved towards the door. "You have no idea how much I want to believe you but those are just words." 

 

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Justin woke up again at a little after noon to the sound of Brian on the phone with Cynthia. He'd been leaving instructions for meetings on Monday and Justin listened to Brian's annoyed response to his secretary's request to have the rest of the afternoon off and her promise not to tell Ryder that he was playing hooky. 

"I don't give a fuck what you tell him. Just make sure that you finish up all that I said before you leave." Brian hung up and when he looked up from his desk he caught Justin looking at him through the blinds. "You hungry?" Justin shook his head no as Brian slowly stood up and crossed the space towards the bedroom. "You need more ice?" Justin was lying on his back and Brian eyed the little bandage and the sleep lines that the sheets had left on Justin's chest. 

Justin shook his head no before actually speaking. "I want you to come back and lie down with me." He reached out to take hold of Brian's hand and then moved over as the man got into the bed. Brian had been wearing a t-shirt and jeans and he pulled his shirt off before settling into the warm spot Justin had left him. "I need to talk to you Brian and I just need you to listen okay." Justin eyed Brian closely and he ignored the tensing in Brian's jaw. "I want you to forget about my dad. I mean I saw the way he looked at me after he hit me last night. He's not going to come back so just please leave it alone." 

"Do you really fucking believe all of this is just gonna go away?" 

"Yeah, I do. He's not gonna come back here and if he was gonna go to the cops about you hitting him he would have done it yesterday and he wouldn't have been waiting for us last night." 

Brian sat up in the bed and grimaced as the pain flashed through his side again. "And why the fuck shouldn't I have him arrested?" 

"My mom may want to bury her head in the sand sometimes but she's right. Two wrongs don't make a right. You can call it a draw if you want Brian because it's not gonna get any better if we just keep pushing this. You act like you don't care but I know for a fact that you need more attention drawn to us about as much as you need another hole in your head." Justin eyed Brian's profile warily. 

Justin had walked his mother out of the loft after her impromptu showdown with Brian and Justin had thought that she looked extremely tired. Brian's parting words hadn't seemed to be much comfort to her but Justin was still glad that she'd heard them. This new phase of he and Brian's relationship would only be a week old tomorrow and already the impact was being felt all around. 

 

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"Justin why are you getting up?" Brian turned on to his back at a little after nine on Saturday morning to find Justin getting out of the bed and stepping into his jeans. 

"I have a shift and I've gotta go to Deb's first to get some clean clothes." He'd been at the loft since Wednesday night and by Saturday morning between cum stains and the bloodstains, he didn't have anything else to wear. "I'll be back to help you with Gus by about two." 

"You're supposed to be taking it easy." Brian sat up to watch him go into the bathroom. He flung his legs over the side of the bed and followed Justin into the other room. Justin had been eyeing his cut in the mirror. He'd pulled off the two adhesive strips the day before but the gash was still red and very noticeable. 

"What do I tell Deb about this?" 

"Tell her your Dad punched you in the face. This telling the truth thing is a pretty novel idea but I think there might be something to it after all." Brian eyed the bruising on his chest and side and he gritted his teeth as Justin poked a finger into one of the reddest patches. 

"Can you breathe any better?" 

"Yeah. I'm fine now but Gus is gonna kill me today." Brian bent over slowly to wash his face and Justin watched his pained movements. He handed Brian a towel as the man straightened up. "Hurry up. I'll give you a ride to Deb's." 

Brian had dropped Justin off and been back at the loft just in time to help Lindsay unload a truckload of stuff that she'd assured him Gus couldn't live without. He'd managed to help her unload the bags without drawing any attention to the fact that he was in pain and by that token had been spared a replica of the interrogation Debbie had subjected Justin to when she caught sight of him from the front porch. Brian had pulled away from house just as Debbie was vowing to hunt down Craig Taylor and castrate him. Justin would no doubt fill her in on all the events of the week and Brian wouldn't hold his breath waiting to get the woman's apology for her mistaken assumptions. 

Now Brian set the sleeping baby on his back in the center of the bed. He arranged pillows on either side of Gus' body and double-checked that there was nothing under the two pillows that were still at the head of the bed. During one of Gus' last visits to the loft Brian had come back into the bedroom to discover a previously sleeping Gus about to swallow a dollop of lube. Deciding that he was better off safe than sorry, Brian picked up the bowl of condoms and the clock from the nightstand and set these on top of his chest of drawers. 

Brian emerged from the moderately child proofed bedroom and took a look at the disaster zone that his loft had become. He'd been alone with Gus for less than an hour and already the space had been transformed into an explosion of stuffed animals, toys and spilled food. Brian had managed to keep a soup covered Gus from touching the white sofa but he hadn't been able to save the white swivel chair closest to the door. He figured he'd start the clean up there before the stain set in permanently. White was definitely not a color to decorate in when a toddler was running around. 

Brian crossed the space to the kitchen and grabbed a dishtowel before filling a container with warm water. He just missed tripping on a squeak toy that had exploded from a bag that was entirely devoted to Gus' toys. "Fuck Lindsay. He's gonna be here for one fucking day and one fucking night." Brian cursed at Lindsay's over-anticipation of Gus' every whim. The phone rang just then and Brian decided to ignore it. He quickly rethought his previous decision when Gus started to wail at the offending sound. "What? You just fucking left here. What do you want now?" Brian had checked the call display before picking up the phone. 

"Stop yelling, you'll scare Gus." Lindsay was in the midst of stuffing the last of Melanie's toiletries into their weekend bag. 

"You already did those honors by calling here. He was sleeping, the ringing woke him up." Brian dropped the container of water on to the desk with a loud slosh. 

"I told you to turn down the ringer, didn't I?" Lindsay sat up from her task. She could hear Gus screaming in the background. "Brian go and check on him." 

"He's fine. I can see him from here. He's just pissed you woke him up. Now what the fuck do you want?" Brian rubbed at his ribs as he looked back into the bedroom. 

"I can't believe I did this but...I left with Gus' diaper bag still in the car." Lindsay prepared for Brian's rage. He'd accused her of trying to move Gus into the loft as she loaded the four other bags, the stroller and the playpen out of her car. 

"You mean none of this shit that you left at my place includes his diapers?" Brian surveyed the damage to the loft again. 

"I noticed it just when I was taking some of our bags down to the car. Brian you've got to go to the supermarket right now. Gus had his last changing a little while ago and since you just fed him lunch, he's bound to need changing pretty soon." 

"Fuck me." The man could still barely walk and now he was faced with venturing out in the company of his overly energetic one year old. 

"Exactly. If you think he's pissed now just wait until you give him a real reason. Just go now and remember to check the weight category on the package." Lindsay's voice continued to drone out of the phone and Brian clenched his jaw tightly. He cut her off and threw the phone on to the desk. 

"I'm coming Gus." Brian dropped the dishtowel next to the phone and slowly climbed the steps back up to the bedroom. Gus was sitting up in the center of the bed and his cries settled into quiet whimpers as he spotted Brian. Brian reached over and winced as he picked up the little boy and settled him in the crook of his arm. "We gotta go for a drive Sonny Boy. You like that right? You like to go in your old man's car right?" The baby stopped whimpering now and let out a loud squeal. He definitely liked the car rides. 

Brian walked back towards the door, grabbing his wallet, cell and keys on the way and stepped into his shoes. He pulled the door open and stepped outside into the hallway. "Can you stay put for a little bit while I close the door?" Brian set the baby on his feet next to his own legs. It had been hard enough opening the door with the pain in his side and he realized he'd need both hands to lock it again. Gus was shuffling towards the steps just as Brian turned back to pick him up and the man grabbed him in mid-stride. "Oh it's me you want the Munchers to kill, huh? You fall down the stairs on my watch and I get the medal for the worst fucking father of the year?" Brian ignored the searing pain in his side as he held on to the wiggling body. 

The baby giggled wildly at Brian's feigned anger. Brian figured that Gus knew that he'd be caught before he actually reached the stairs and the fact that Gus had been so confident in Brian's quick reaction time and so fearless disturbed Brian greatly. He couldn't remember a time that he'd ever been that secure that his own father would come to his rescue. 

Brian gingerly piled the baby into the car seat in the back of the Jeep before climbing into the driver's side and pulling out into traffic. Gus had occupied himself with spinning the toys that were attached to the little tray that ran across the front of his seat. Brian watched him in the rearview mirror and he couldn't help the smile that started to spread across his lips. The cell phone rang just then and Brian flipped it on. 

"What do you want Lindsay?" The woman's call was as expected as the sunrise. "We're in the car and we're going to buy diapers. Are you not satisfied?" 

"I am and don't forget the wipes, soap and lotion. You guys have fun and I'll see you tomorrow." Lindsay hung up. 

Brian dropped the phone back on to the seat beside him and turned on the radio. Gus protested loudly at his father's choice of music and Brian popped a tape in. The closest market was ten minutes away and Brian figured he could survive a serenade from the 'Little Mermaid' soundtrack until they got there. "Fine we'll listen to your shit Gus but we're listening to mine on the way back." The baby barely acknowledged him and continued to play with the buttons and the toys on the tray of his car seat. Brian had always gotten his way but he was starting to learn that Gus had inherited both his demanding manner and stubborn streak. On top of that, the baby had already come to the dangerous realization that his father was putty in his hands. 

Brian pulled into a parking spot close to the doors of the market and flipped off his seatbelt. They were only at the outskirts of suburbia but this place still looked like the middle of the American family dream. Brian barely missed hitting a woman juggling a grocery bag and three fat children as she beat a hasty retreat back to her car. Each kid was gnawing on a massive candy bar and Brian thought the woman looked shell-shocked and regretful. Gus made him feel shell-shocked pretty near all the time but it had been awhile since Brian had any regrets. 

Brian got out and walked around to the other side of the Jeep to retrieve Gus. He pulled open the door and flipped up Gus' tray and seatbelt. The baby jumped up into his hands and Brian almost cried out in pain as he balanced him on his hip. He managed to push the passenger seat back into place and lock the door without biting into his own cheek from the strain in his ribs. Brian had decided that packing and unpacking the stroller would have been even worse than carrying Gus and he was hoping to stash him in a shopping cart as soon as they got inside the store. 

The two crossed the parking lot and entered the doors to the Big Q. Gus promptly clung to Brian's shirt as the man tried to lower him into the seat of a shopping cart. Brian sighed heavily. The place was as terrible as he remembered and he had yet to figure out how Michael could stand to keep working there. 

Brian approached a large blonde woman at the cash register closest to him. "Where do I find diapers?" 

The woman dropped her eyes and unabashedly took in his body before settling her eyes on his face again. "Over... over in...in aisle three." Marly adjusted her hair and smiled widely as she took in Brian's face and the muscles of his forearms. "What a cute little boy. He looks just like his daddy." Marly was actually batting her eyelashes at Brian now and the man thought he'd never seen a more unattractive sight. He grimaced a little before moving off in the direction of the diapers. Marly followed his retreat with her eyes before turning towards the clerk at the cash register beside her. "Have you ever seen a more gorgeous looking man?" She grinned and watched Brian some more until he disappeared out of her view. 

Brian knew exactly why he didn't like to set foot inside the Big Q or any supermarket for that matter. In his hunt to find the diaper aisle he'd had to make his way through at succession of desperate smiles and gasps from most of the women he passed on the way. Apparently much of the female population relied on the supermarket as a good place to meet people. One woman had followed him when he mistakenly turned into the pet food aisle and then pretended to be looking at a bag of chew toys when he caught her staring. 

"Let's get your stuff and get out of here before they attack." Brian cooed to the baby as he found what he was looking for. Brian took in the vast selection and tried to remember what kinds of diapers Gus used. He'd forgotten to get Lindsay to remind him of the brand name. 

"Brian." 

Brian turned towards the sound of his best friend's voice. 

"I thought that was you but I figured there was no way you'd come in here...oh I see why you came. Come here Gus." Michael reached for the baby and Brian happily handed him over before turning to face the sea of diapers again. 

"Why the fuck are there so many different kinds?" Brian stood with his hands on his hips as he eyed the different colors and codes on the packages. 

"Just pick one that's for boys and find the one made for Gus's weight and size." Michael stepped forward to point Brian towards the right selection. "That one." 

"Thanks Mr. Manager." Brian pulled out two packages. He intended to keep an extra one at the loft from now on in order to avoid a repeat of today's events. "You still working Saturdays, huh?" 

Michael smiled a little and looked down at Gus. "Yeah well, we don't all get to spend Saturdays with our dads." Michael traded the baby for the diapers Brian held in his hands and turned around to retrieve wipes and some other toiletries from the shelf behind them. "I saw Justin at my Mom's this morning and I heard what happened with his dad." Michael turned to look at Brian over his shoulder quickly. "I know you won't press charges and Justin says his dad probably won't but what if you'd been really hurt?" Brian adjusted Gus' weight on his hip instead of answering Michael's question and Michael shook his head and walked a few steps down the aisle. "Come on. I'll get you a discount on these." 

"In that case I want two more." Brian turned to grab another package of diapers before following Michael down the aisle. He'd followed Michael back to the checkout counters and now he and Gus stood in Marly's sights again. She watched from two counters away as Brian paid for his purchases and turned to peck Michael on the cheek. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Michael's hand flew up to his cheek as he threw a cautious look around and spoke to Brian under his breath. 

Brian narrowed his eyes and looked at Michael. They'd gone back to the normal routine of insults and teasing and had even managed to slip in a few kisses here and there. Michael's reaction caught him by surprise but Brian figured it out soon enough. "I'm saying thanks. I'd offer you a firm handshake instead but my hands are kind of full right now." Brian teased as he shifted Gus's weight to his other side before picking up one of the shopping bags. "Happy hiding Mikey. I'll call you later." Brian grabbed the other bags and walked out of the store. 

 

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Brian pulled up to the curb and cut Ariel off mid-note. Gus had indeed gotten his way and they had listened to the 'Little Mermaid' soundtrack on the way back as well. He got out of the car and walked around to the other side without noticing the woman who got out of her own car across the street. Brian had been busying himself with packing up the stuff they'd gotten as the woman continued to approach the Jeep. He'd already flipped up the tray and seatbelt of the car seat and put one of the bags on the curb before he noticed her. 

"What are you doing here?" Brian pushed the seat belt back into place and a confused Gus tried to figure out why he'd been freed and then restrained in a manner of seconds. Brian closed the passenger door and walked towards his sister. 

"Brian you didn't return any of my calls. I needed to see you." 

"I didn't return your calls because I have no interest in talking to you." Brian leaned an arm against the side of the Jeep and flicked a finger towards the woman. "You know Claire, I don't remember telling you where I lived." 

"You didn't. Brian please I need to talk to you. Can we just please go up?" Claire pushed her hair out of her eyes as she looked at him. 

Brian thought back to Gus in the back seat of Jeep. There was no way that his family knew about Gus and he had no intention of letting his sister get a look at him. "No we can't just please go up. Get the fuck out of here." Brian turned and moved back towards the passenger side door. When he looked back in Claire's direction she still stood firmly rooted to the spot where he'd left her. 

"Brian I need your help. I know you don't owe me shit but you helped me before with all that stuff that was going on with my divorce and I need your help again. Please." The woman was on the verge of tears and despite the fact that her nose was already red and raw looking, Brian decided that she was faking. 

"Fuck off Claire. You're right I don't owe you shit." Brian stood waiting for her to leave. The woman looked down and scrubbed the toe of her shoe through the dirt at the side of the curb. So many other times before he'd managed to put away his feelings long enough to do what he had to but in those seconds Brian still saw the spoiled little girl who'd made it her pleasure to play the innocent in hopes of earning him a beating. He'd helped her before but he had no intention of doing it again today. 

"Brian. Look I'm trying to fix some things in my life and I need your help to do it." She wiped away the tears from her eyes before they had a chance to spill over on to her cheeks. 

"You haven't said a word to me since the funeral and even that only counts if screaming at me and trying to hit me is your idea of talking. Actually come to think of it you might just take after Jack in that regard. That was his idea of talking too." Brian was getting impatient and Gus was struggling to undo his own belt and free himself from his confines. 

"Please Brian." 

"Money Claire?" Brian's jaw clenched angrily. 

"No not money Brian." She couldn't meet his eyes. He'd given her thousands over the years and even she'd known better than to make empty promises of paying him back. "I need to talk about some things and you're the only one I can talk to. Brian please, Mom won't help me. She's totally into her whole don't say anything don't feel anything way right now. She won't even acknowledge the fact that Daddy existed or even talk about it or talk about you." 

Brian laughed bitterly. "What? She won't hold your hand and cry with you twenty-four hours a day and you come here thinking that I'll do that? Get a fucking shrink Claire." Gus started crying in the backseat and Claire turned her attention towards the sound immediately. "Just get the fuck out of here." Brian turned his back and started to pull the door open. He hoped that Gus would calm down a little if he could at least see him. 

Claire's thoughts flipped between what she could say to get her brother to listen to her and the sound of Gus' cries. "Brian I am getting some help and that's why I'm here. I did some really shitty things to you, that's true. I'm not perfect and you're not perfect. We're as fucked up as everybody else. I'm trying to get some help for that. I'm trying to deal with everything and move on." She looked up and searched his face. "All that shit that happened with Daddy and Mom, I didn't wanna hear it or think about it...I just wanted to cry about it but that's not working for me anymore and I need your help." 

"Exorcise your demons with your shrink Claire and while you're there get some more of your fucking happy pills." Brian reached into the Jeep to stroke at Gus' cheek. He'd have to keep Gus calm while he tried to keep the woman at bay. Brian could smell Gus from where he now stood and Gus screamed even louder. He wouldn't wait another second for Brian to get him out of that seat. "Damn. Come here Gus." Brian flipped the seatbelt and Gus sprang into his arms again. He ignored Claire's expression as he pulled the baby into her view, instead opting to grab the bags from the front passenger seat and the curb. Brian kicked the door closed, set the alarm and climbed the steps to the building without throwing a backwards glance at the woman. 

"Brian please, they're your demons too." Claire whispered dejectedly. 

Brian heard her loud and clear and he let the front door to the building shut behind him buffering any further pleas. First Craig Taylor and now his sister. Brian wondered just who else was planning to show up on his doorstep this weekend. 

 

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"Shit." Justin took in the explosion of toys and food splatters all over the kitchen counter. The door to the microwave stood gaping open and Justin could see the drying soup that coated the sides and the inside of the door. "Did anybody make it out alive?" He moved closer to the bedroom and now he could hear the sloshing of the water from the bathroom. Brian was down on all fours in front of the open door to the shower stall and Gus was sitting in his little blue bathtub as Brian poured water over his already drenched hair. "Can I be next?" Justin called out seductively. 

Brian turned to look at him over his shoulder and smiled. "No you cannot be next. You make a bigger mess than Gus does." 

Justin turned to look at the space behind him again. "Me and Gus don't do half the shit to this place that you and Gus do when you're babysitting him." 

"Me and Gus have more fun. Isn't that right Sonny Boy?" In the few seconds since Justin had been in the room Brian had been remiss in his duty of pouring warm water over Gus' head and Gus reached for the little bucket in Brian's hand. If he wanted something done right he'd have to do it himself. 

"I think you're fired." Justin chuckled as Gus began filling the bucket with water. He crossed the room and retrieved a towel before settling himself on his knees beside Brian. 

Brian was soaked and the jersey of the shirt he'd been wearing was stuck to his chest. Justin could see from the deep blue color that the fronts of Brian's jeans had taken on that they were wet too. Brian caught Justin's interest in his wetness and spoke up quietly. "You help me finish this up and I'll show you all the wet skin that you can handle." He licked Justin on the cheek as the other man reached over to push him away with a laugh. 

"You think I'm that easy huh?" 

"You're a fucking slut where I'm concerned." Brian was grinning and he forced himself not to look at the cut above Justin's eyebrow. He'd been determined to put the outside world out of his mind for the rest of the weekend. That included not thinking about Craig Taylor and not giving a second thought to anything Claire had said. 

"Right so I'm the only slut here? Well it so happens that I know for a fact that I could just sit here and not lift a finger and you'd still show me your wet skin." 

"I'm the one with the self-control where sex is concerned Justin. You'd hump a fucking tree if I stood on the other side talking dirty to you while you did it." Brian smiled at the obvious flaw in his statement. 

"When did you acquire all this self-control where sex was concerned and where was I when it happened?" Justin was feeling a little more playful. He'd dealt with enough reality this week to last him for months and he'd catch his breath by playing Brian's little game of ignoring everything. 

Brian reached into the tub and flicked a handful of water in Justin's direction. Justin returned the favor and all the cavorting earned a loud giggle from their audience of one. The telephone rang just then and Justin stood up to get it. Remembering Claire's earlier visit, Brian grabbed Justin as he reached the bathroom doorway. 

"You dry him off and I'll get the phone." He moved passed Justin and crossed the space to grab the phone on the stand beside the bed. "Yeah?" Brian settled the telephone in the crook of his neck and dried his hands on the front of his jeans. 

"I was wondering when I'd see your face in the diner again." Debbie was twirling the telephone cord around her finger as she spoke. 

Brian kept the smile out of his voice as he responded. "From the way you treated me the last time I was there I figured I'd just be begging to be poisoned if I came back any time soon." Brian drawled his words slowly. 

"A fucking Drama Queen is what you are Brian." Debbie spoke quickly. She was uncomfortable at the prospect of having to deliver an apology, let alone an apology to Brian. "Look, Sunshine explained what's going on. I wanted to tear him a new one for not just coming right out and telling me but I guess I understand why he didn't...Anyway...I shouldn't have just assumed it was you that had done something to him and I shouldn't have stuck my big foot in the middle of all of it...You know what I'm trying to say right?" Debbie hadn't paused long enough for Brian to respond before she launched into the rest of her words. "I heard what you did to that fuck faced father of his on Thursday..." Brian huffed a laugh at that description. "...He deserved it and I'm really sorry about what happened to you two after. I just wanted to call and say that since you haven't bothered to come back down here..." 

"That it?" Brian was smiling. 

"Yes that's fucking it. What? Do you want I should crawl over to your place on my hands and knees and say it again with more feeling?" Debbie was getting a little pissed at Brian's goading. 

"I'll be here all afternoon. What time should I expect you?" 

"Look, you finally did something right for a change, don't make me take it all back." Debbie was pointing a finger as if Brian was actually standing in front of her. 

"Bye Deb." Brian listened to the woman hang up before he dropped the receiver back into place. 

"That was Debbie?" Justin came out of the bathroom with Gus half-wrapped in a towel. The baby was definitely slippery when wet and he hadn't made it easy for Justin to get him out of the water. 

"Yeah. Her version of an apology." Brian crossed the room and pulled out a change of clothes from one of Gus' many bags. 

"Like you do apologies any better than Debbie." Justin batted his eyelashes at Brian far more attractively than Marly had done earlier. He'd laid Gus on the bed and had been struggling to hold him in place as Brian gathered all the supplies they'd need. 

"That's why I never apologize." Brian managed to keep Gus lying on his back as Justin took over with the powdering and diapering. 

Justin didn't bother to say anything else to Brian's last comment and he simply offered the man a coy smile as he finished up with dressing Gus. Brian may not have been too keen on apologizing with words but he did it by deeds all the time. Justin looked up as Gus crawled away towards the edge of the bed and he found Brian staring at him intently. "What?" Justin spoke softly and watched as Brian made his body into a wall to stop Gus' mission to get off the bed. 

Brian picked the baby up and moved to stand up. "You asked me if you could be next. Why don't you go get the tub out of the way and I'll be right in." Brian was throwing his best in seduction into the tone of his voice. 

"You'll powder me too?" Justin smiled as Brian walked down the steps to the living room and set Gus in his toy littered playpen. 

"Only if you promise not to behave during your shower." Brian watched as Justin got up from the edge of the bed. 

"Sounds good but you can't." 

"Oh I assure you that I can." Brian rubbed a hand over his crotch as he walked back towards the bedroom. Bruised ribs aside, they hadn't done anything but sleep next to each other since Thursday night. 

"No. We can't be in there if Gus is awake out here. He could hurt himself or something." Justin flicked a finger towards Gus who was now shoving a Teddy Bear paw into his mouth. 

"He's fine. He's in his cage." Brian reached down to pull the paw out of Gus' mouth and watched as the baby pushed it back into his face again. 

"No Brian..." Justin looked at the baby for another few seconds. "...But I can think of a compromise. One that'll allow you to keep an eye on Gus while you keep an eye on me too." Justin smiled as he started to undress. 

Ten minutes later Brian was sitting on a stool just inside the doorway to the bathroom while Gus sat in the playpen in the corner of the bedroom. From where Brian sat he could see Gus through the mesh of the pen and he could see Justin behind the glass of the shower stall. Justin had had to keep the water cool to keep down the fogging on the glass and he'd made sure to lean against the enclosure every now and then so that Brian could see the press of his skin from the other side. 

Justin stroked himself as he watched Brian through the glass. He eyed the growing tenting between Brian's legs as he rubbed over his chest slowly and ran his fingers across his hardening nipples. Brian watched as he tugged on the little ring and he watched Justin's cock swell without any direct attention. He'd leaned back against the back of the stool and took a deep breath as he watched Justin finally dip a hand towards the light treasure trail of hairs that ran below his bellybutton. Justin stepped forward and pressed his cock against the glass as he ran his fingers through his wet pubic hair. He played with his cock lightly before turning his back towards Brian. From this angle Brian could see Justin running his hands across his ass and he watched intently as Justin moved to spread himself. Brian was laughing a little at this new play in voyeurism but he was thoroughly enjoying it. 

Justin lifted his face into the spray and he continued to play a finger over his hole as he imagined Brian's reactions behind him. He couldn't hear Brian's breathing over the noise of the water but he knew all too well what each specific sight could do to the man. Justin moved his fingers in small circles and he could imagine Brian shifting himself to escape the tightening in his jeans. He dipped a fingertip just inside his opening and he could imagine Brian touching himself. He pushed through completely and could imagine Brian squeezing at the head of his cock. Justin dropped his shoulders forward and pushed his hands and ass back against the glass behind him. He rubbed back and forth against the glass as he pushed his fingers deeper and deeper inside himself. He could imagine Brian fisting his own cock greedily now. 

Justin heard Brian's words clearly as the man finally spoke up behind him. 

"I hope you realize that I'm gonna fuck you to within an inch of our lives as soon as Gus falls asleep." 

Justin smiled and closed his eyes. He scissorred his fingers inside himself and pressed back against the glass. He still couldn't see Brian but now he could imagine the feel of the man's cock buried deep inside him. 

 

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian rubbed his nose across Justin's. He was smiling and Justin reached up to lick across the smile. Brian had rested all his weight on his elbows and he had both hands on Justin's face. He thread his fingers through the younger man's hair and rubbed over his ears. 

Justin turned his face into the touch and he could smell the baby powder on Brian's hands. Brian had indeed powdered him and now Brian was pampering him. Not in the diapering sense but in the indulgence sense. He kissed across Brian's hands and looked at his eyes. "I really like you." Justin breathed his words across Brian's cheek and waited for a response. It would either be by words or by deeds but now Justin was confident he wouldn't be disappointed either way. 

Brian looked at him and smiled some more before he closed his fingers in Justin's hair. "I know." That's all he said. 

Justin smiled and relaxed against the pillows under his body again. "That all you got?" 

"No." Brian rubbed himself against Justin's thigh to punctuate his statement. 

He listened to Justin's sigh before leaning down to rest his face under the other man's chin. He kissed across the pulse point and licked Justin's Adam's apple. He could feel Justin's hands on his back and shoulders and Brian moved his face against the pulsing skin. He moved one hand away from Justin's hair and ran it across his face and neck to come to rest on Justin's hip. Brian kept up the kissing at Justin's neck and ran his tongue against the skin. 

Brian had chosen to respond to Justin's confession with deeds. 

"You love me." Justin smiled and closed his eyes. 

Brian's sigh was a low rumble. He'd been kissing across Justin's chest now and he crushed his lips against Justin's right nipple. He raised his lips away from the burning skin only to touch down a few inches away and inflict the same torture. 

"You love me." Justin closed his hands around the back of Brian's neck and guided the kisses lower. 

Brian licked across his bellybutton and let his tongue dip into the slight indentation. He felt Justin shiver under him and he pushed in deeper. He moved his hand against Justin's stomach to hold him still and planted several more kisses against the skin and the light line of hairs that led to Justin's cock. 

"You love me." Justin sighed again and urged Brian lower. 

Brian followed the urgings and knelt between Justin's legs. He ran his hands over Justin's thighs and Justin pressed the soles of his feet against the bedding as he bent his knees. Brian traced a path from Justin's knees up to his hips and then down to his knees again. He watched as Justin let his legs fall open and he lowered his face to kiss against the inside of Justin's thigh following the path that his right hand had just taken. 

"You love..." Justin's breath caught in his throat as Brian's tongue grazed over his length. 

Brian licked him voraciously and Justin called out his name as he bucked up into Brian's mouth. Brian had reached up to hold on to his hips and Justin closed his hands over top of Brian's. He opened his eyes to watch what Brian was doing to him and he watched as he disappeared and reappeared between Brian's lips. 

Justin opened his mouth to speak his little mantra again and Brian met his eyes and answered him before he could say anything else. 

"Yes." The word was a breath before Brian lowered his eyes and his face again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Justin blinked hard and tried to push back his thoughts of the hours Brian had spent kissing and touching him over the past weekend. He hadn't been able to think of much else during his shift and he looked around suddenly to see if anyone had noticed him zone out in the last few minutes. 

"No it's not that kind of sick. It's just lovesick." Debbie swatted Justin on the back of the head and further knocked him out of his recollection of the highlight of his weekend. "You ready to go home or you feel like working the dinner shift too?" Debbie had her purse in hand and she was jingling her keys against her hip. 

"I'm ready." Justin was blushing and he pulled at his apron as he moved off to get his stuff from the change room. 

Debbie turned to watch him go before she leaned over the counter to talk to the other waitress again. "It's gonna be a little less bright in here when he starts back to school." 

"Oh he'll still be in here for shifts Deb. He'll still need the money." The other woman was just coming on shift and she turned her back to Debbie for help tying up her apron. 

"He doesn't need the money now. Not really. Half the time I think he just does it to keep me company." Debbie smiled a little and walked towards the door as Justin came back out of the change room with his backpack and jacket. "See you guys tomorrow." Debbie waved her goodbyes as Justin walked passed her and held the door open. His face was still flushed and Debbie looked at him with a grin. "Brian made it a weekend to remember huh?" 

Justin remembered Brian's confirmation of his repeated statement and he echoed the word. "Yes." 

 

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Brian stepped off the elevator and pushed his briefcase into Cynthia's arms. She was trying to say something to him but he cut her off before she could get more than a few words out. He'd been subjected to a six-hour production session and there were at least twenty-five things that he needed to get done before the end of the day. Cynthia had scheduled a few hours off for a dentist appointment but from the looks of things she'd have to cancel. If Brian was swamped then she was swamped too. 

"There is someone..." Cynthia didn't get a chance to finish her statement. 

"You need to call and cancel my four o'clock and get those two shitheads to meet me at five instead of four-thirty." Brian was unceremoniously referring to Bob and Brad as he tossed his reworked day planner at his secretary. He'd had his hand on the doorknob and been in the midst of pushing through the doorway when Cynthia finally managed to get more than a few words in. 

"There someone waiting for you in your office. Mr. F..." 

"Why are you here?" Brian didn't shake the hand that the man had offered him. Instead he moved around to the other side of his desk and shrugged off his suit jacket. Cynthia dropped the briefcase by the door as she retreated closing the door behind her. 

"How's your hand Brian?" The man sat down again and followed Brian's movements as he laid his jacket across the back of his chair and crossed the room to stand beside the blinds. 

"Your deal's done and you have underlings to handle half the shit that's left. A busy man like you must have something better to do besides stalking me?" Brian flicked a finger at the man as he tossed his insult across the room. 

Clifford Forsythe smiled up at him before speaking. "It seems that we're going to try our hand at having a meal together again. I've got some investor companies who are looking for new advertising. Their success reflects directly on my company and me. I mentioned that to Marty Ryder and he thought you'd be very interested in exploring these new possibilities." 

Brian smiled a little and came around to stand in front of his desk. "And why would you be so interested in seeing that I got more business. What? Another 'you scratch my back and I fuck you' kind of proposition?" Brian had come out swinging. 

"Nothing like that Brian. This is business and sometimes, not often but sometimes, a deal is exactly as it appears on the surface. You make them look good and you look good. You make them look good and you make me look good too. These benefits, plus the fact that money will change hands for everyone involved, should be incentive enough for us to deal." The words were professional but the leering in the man's eyes spoke differently. 

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth as he studied the man. "Some advice Cliff. Be very careful where I'm concerned. I've been known to bite." 

"Oh I've seen a bit of that firsthand now haven't I? Then again I can't imagine that you would bite the hand that feeds you." 

Brian clenched his jaw and came to stand in front of the man. "We're not in L.A. Don't fuck with me." 

Forsythe absently ran the pads of his fingers over his wedding ring and smiled as he stood up from his chair. "Oh I could only dream of fucking with you Brian." He brushed passed Brian as he moved towards the door. 

"Cliff..." Marty Ryder pushed through the door before Forsythe could make his exit. "...I'm glad that I caught you. Brian, I'm sure you've been brought up to speed on this opportunity." Ryder had turned to speak a few words to Brian before turning his attention back to the client again. "I've had my assistant make a reservation for tonight at seven-thirty. I'm hoping that fits into your schedule." 

Forsythe answered Ryder directly but he turned to face Brian as he did it. "Tonight would be perfect. You do good work here and I'd be more than happy to make a few introductions." He turned again to eye Ryder as he finished his statement. "I'll send over some information on the executives we'll be meeting tonight. They're all good friends of mine so it'll be quite informal." 

Brian watched as Ryder ushered the man towards the door. 

 

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"Hey Mom." Justin eyed the woman warily as he set his backpack down on Debbie's couch. Between the visit to the loft on Friday and the events of the past week, Tuesday evening seemed to be too soon for his mother to be making another personal visit. 

"Sweetheart. How are you feeling?" She eyed the healing cut above Justin's brow as she straightened the creases in the front of her skirt. 

"I'm fine Mom. What are you doing here?" Justin moved in to kiss her cheek as she offered it. 

"I just wanted to see you...I've been having a nice visit with Vic. I didn't think you were working today but he let me know that you two would be back soon so I stayed." Jennifer offered Debbie a smile and opened her arms for a hug. 

"Hon, I've been on my feet for hours and I'm telling you if that shift had been any longer Justin would have had to carry me to the car and then drive us home. I'm not kidding and we both know that I'm not the most forgiving of loads." Debbie was sporting a self-deprecating smile as she leaned in to hug Jennifer. Justin had told her about some of the tension he was feeling where his mother was concerned and now Debbie could feel some of that tension for herself. 

Debbie moved off towards the kitchen and watched as Justin sat down across from his mother. She signaled to Vic to vacate the armchair he'd folded himself into in order to let the other two have a minute alone. Vic hadn't gotten her message and instead he reached forward to hand Justin the envelope that had come for him earlier. 

"This came for you. It's from P.I.F.A. It's fat so it's probably another class catalogue for you to pour over like you did the last one." He handed Justin the package and sat back. Vic thought that he'd actually be helping the obvious tension by giving Justin a relatively safe topic of discussion with his mother. 

Justin turned the package over and looked at it before setting it on the coffee table again. "I don't wanna bore you guys. I'll just look at it later." 

"No, go on Sweetheart. I'd like to hear some more about your classes." Jennifer picked up the package again and handed it to Justin. She smiled as he slowly ripped the envelope open and pulled out the papers inside. 

Justin turned the sheets of paper over in his hands and read the first page. "It's just my first-year tuition payment forms and some information about the dorms." He looked up again and then dropped the papers on to the table. This was the last thing that he wanted to get into with his mother on top of all that had already been going on. 

"Well I should probably take those." Jennifer reached for the papers as she looked at Justin. "I'll see that they get to your father's lawyer." 

Justin reached out to stop her. "No. You don't have to." 

"Justin it'll be easier. You won't even have to talk to him." She'd suspected that his reluctance had a lot to do with what had happened with his father only a few days before. "This was all arranged honey. None of what's happened has anything to do with it." Like Justin had asked her to, she'd done her best to talk to Craig about his choice to attend P.I.F.A. and in the face of the divorce she'd actually managed to work things out very favorably for Justin. The man hadn't been pleased about his son's choice not to go to Dartmouth but one of Jennifer's demands had been that he release the investments he'd made over the years for Justin's college fund. 

"I don't want him to pay for this." Justin took the papers and folded them back into the envelope. 

"Sweetheart we owe you an education and nothing has changed in that regard. This was settled months ago. I'll just send these over and it'll be taken care of." 

Debbie caught Vic's eye just then and she saw the worry and realization pass over his face. They both knew about the actual arrangements Justin had made for his college tuition and now they couldn't decide whether it would be best for them to vacate the room entirely or offer Justin some moral support for his impending revelation. 

"You guys don't have to pay for it. My expenses are covered." Justin spoke up as he met his mother's eyes again. 

"You didn't tell me that you got scholarship money." Jennifer waited for him to explain. 

"I didn't...Um...Brian is paying my tuition." Justin rolled his lips into his mouth and waited for her reaction. 

"What did you say?" She was shocked, dumbstruck and every other word for surprise that applied to the situation. 

"This was decided before Mom..." 

"Absolutely not. This isn't something Brian should be paying for." Jennifer stood up and looked at Debbie for some confirmation that she'd known about this all along and had let it happen. 

"Brian knew about the problems with the divorce and all that stuff...I didn't want to make any more waves and I was trying to save for it on my own...maybe work during the school year too if I needed to...Debbie said I could stay here with her a while longer and I needed a way to cover first-year. I can figure something out for the other years...I'm saving..." Justin was out of breath by the time he was done talking. 

"Justin no. What happens with your father and I has nothing to do with your education and what happens with your father and you has nothing to do with that either. We've planned for this for years and this is something that we should be doing for you." 

"You don't have to Mom. It's covered." 

The woman turned to look between Debbie and Vic. "You two knew about this and you didn't let me know?" 

"Honey, Justin made it really clear he wanted to talk to you about this on his own time." Debbie put her hands up in defense. 

"Mom it was a gift." Justin could remember the offhand way that Brian had agreed to foot the bill for his first year at P.I.F.A. Brian had actually called it an investment and he'd said that Justin could pay it back over time. Brian wouldn't accept a thank you and in all honesty Justin knew that he wouldn't accept any repayment either. Brian had been the one to insist that he take the job at the diner and that he pay back every cent of the credit card charges but Brian had also been the one who'd given Justin back a cheque for that exact amount just after his eighteenth birthday. 

"Justin socks are a gift. A new sweater is a gift. A case for you to keep art supplies in when you're in class is a gift. Thousands upon thousands of dollars in tuition and expense payments is not a gift." Jennifer tried her hardest to keep calm. 

"I'm sure Brian can afford it." Vic kept his voice low. He'd been trying to make a joke in hopes of lightening the mood of the situation. He'd instead earned dirty looks from Jennifer and Justin and earned a punch in the arm from Debbie. 

"Justin..." 

"Mom don't say anything else. This is just Brian's way of trying to help and to me it's just an investment. An interest free loan that I can pay back in a few years and..." 

"Absolutely not. You hear me. Brian's not paying for this." Jennifer took a step forward and snatched up the papers. "Justin this isn't something that you can just pay back in a few years." 

Justin stood up and reached for the envelope again. "I don't want Dad to pay for this. As for how I pay it back, that's for me to figure out." He took the papers out of his mother's hands and picked up his backpack from the couch. "I didn't feel good about taking his money back then and I definitely don't like the idea now. Please try to understand that." Justin moved off and climbed the stairs. He could feel his mother's eyes on him the entire way. 

 

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Brian sat at his desk in silence. He wasn't replaying his conversation with Cliff Forsythe. He was thinking about his father. Something Jack had said to him was stuck right at the back of his mind and Forsythe had unwittingly reminded him of it. Jack Kinney had always accused him of biting the hand that fed him. To hear Jack tell it, Brian had a knack for doing just that. He did it when he wasn't quiet enough when Jack was trying to sleep or when he didn't shovel the snow off the driveway within minutes of the first inches starting to accumulate. Brian's perceived disrespect of his father's sacrifices had always earned him a bruising reminder meant educate him on the evils of biting that proverbial hand. 

"There's a Claire Kinney for you on line two. Any relation?" In answer to her question Cynthia noticed the tensing in Brian's shoulders. "I'll tell her you're not in." The woman was moving away from the door when Brian stopped her. 

"I'll take it." He reached across the desk and picked up the receiver. "Close the door." Brian dropped his eyes back to the telephone as he punched the key for the right line. "I didn't give you my work number either. What the fuck do you want?" 

"I can't say it any other way than how I said it before Brian. I need to talk to you. It won't take long. Just a little of your time. Please." She'd spoken her words without taking a breath and Brian thought she almost sounded winded when she was done. 

"I'm not listening to your shit Claire. I told you to go see a shrink." Brian leaned back in his chair and got ready to hang up. He'd only bothered to take the call so as to make it very clear that she wasn't to call him or come to the loft again. 

"I wish to God that you weren't this cold Brian but I know now that it's not your fault." She wasn't sniffling yet but Brian could hear it coming. 

"And whose fault would that be, Mommy and Daddy?" Brian rolled his eyes. He wasn't trying to veil his sarcasm or his contempt. 

"I'm asking for a few hours of your time Brian. Please. I could come and see you again or you could come to my place..." 

"That's not going to happen Claire. I don't do family visits anymore." 

"Brian just meet me for a little bit. You decide if you'll see me again after that." 

Cynthia came back into the room just then and quietly dropped a package on his desk. Forsythe Industries. Brian fingered the flap on the large unsealed envelope and pulled out the information packages Forsythe had sent over. The man was pushing his buttons and Claire's call would earn her some of that resulting rage. "Get a fucking life Claire and stay the hell out of mine." 

"I'm trying to..." 

Brian hung up on her and cut off her next few words. 

Cynthia had closed the door behind her as Brian started shouting across the line at the woman. She didn't know exactly who Claire Kinney was but it was obvious that she wasn't on Brian's Christmas gift list. 

 

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Justin closed his door and listened to his mother saying her goodbyes downstairs. She'd managed to make her voice sound pleasant as she made her exit but Justin could definitely hear the Country Club Calm. She was angry and as far as she was concerned she'd just been given another reason to have misgivings about the role Brian was taking in her son's life. 

Justin tossed his bag in the corner and picked up the telephone beside his bed. He wanted nothing more than to call Brian but this was the last thing Brian needed to hear on top of what had happened in the last few days. He'd settle for calling Daphne and hope that his mother wouldn't push him on the idea of accepting money from Brian. 

Justin had been about to lift the receiver when the phone rang on the nightstand in front of him. He figured the call would be for Debbie or Vic so he listened for one of them to answer it. 

Vic answered. "You've got perfect timing. One minute earlier and you'd have been in the middle of the three-ringed circus aptly called 'Brian is ruining my son's life'. 

Justin listened to the one-sided conversation and he heard when Vic paused a little and then laughed at something the other person had said. 

"Let's just say that you certainly don't have any fans in one segment of the population but I guess you more than make up for that with other demographic groups, right?" Vic's voice sounded like he was smiling. "Yeah he's here. He's upstairs. Hang on a second I'll get him on the line." 

"Is that Brian?" Debbie's voice boomed through the house. "Tell him his troubles are far from over." 

Justin's ears pricked up and he reached for the telephone receiver. 

"Justin pick up the phone." Vic stood at the bottom of the stairs. He didn't raise his voice much since he was counting on the paper-thin walls to help deliver his message. 

"I got it Vic. You can hang up." Justin held the phone to his ear as he waited for Vic to hang up at his end. Justin could hear Debbie in stereo as her voice floated in the air of the house and echoed through the receiver. "Come on Vic hang up." 

"Allow an old man an opportunity for some real life drama." Vic laughed a little before turning to Debbie. "It's your fault that they knew I was still on the lin..." Vic's next word was cut off as he finally hung up. 

"What's going on over there?" Brian rocked back in his chair and waited for Justin's explanation of Vic's ribbing. Brian would never admit it outright but he'd actually needed to hear Justin's voice. 

"It's nothing. My Mom was here that's all." Justin was counting on this being enough information to stop any further questioning. He didn't want to hear the man's reaction to how Jennifer had taken the news. 

"Let me guess. The anti-Christ has been born and his initials are B.K." Brian was joking but Justin could tell that he wasn't amused. 

"It's not like that Brian. She's just worried about me." Justin sat down on the trunk at the foot of the bed and stretched out his legs. "Anyway what's going on with you? How come you're calling me?" He didn't expect Brian to be calling because he missed him but that didn't stop Justin from fishing for a compliment. 

"Just to tell you not to come by the loft tonight. I'm not gonna be back until late." Brian flipped through the papers on his desk for dramatic effect. "I'm entertaining some clients." 

"You're busy?" Justin was more than a little disappointed. He hadn't seen Brian since Sunday afternoon when Lindsay had given him a lift back when she picked Gus up. 

"Yeah. Come tomorrow night if you want." Brian could hear the disappointment in Justin's voice. 

"I want. But I could still come tonight and just wait." Justin thought the words were a little desperate but he was hoping that Brian wanted to see him as much as he did. 

"Don't bother, it'll be really late. Tomorrow I can pick you up from Deb's after work and then we can go out if you want." 

"No, I want to stay in." Justin sighed heavily and leaned back on the bed. "I wish it was still Saturday and we were at the loft together Brian." 

Brian laughed a little before answering. He and Justin were channeling the same memory. "Tonight when you're in bed you can pretend it still is." 

"Will you do the same thing?" 

"What? Pretend that Gus is spilling soup all over my furniture and screaming when you won't let him out of the playpen?" Brian dropped the pile of papers on his desk and immersed himself in his memories of the highlight of his weekend. 

"Not that part of Saturday. I meant the part where Gus was asleep and I had your undivided attention." Justin twirled the telephone cord around his finger and smiled. 

"Oh that part. I remember something about you liking me." Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and waited for Justin to correct him as to the real focus of their little talk during sex. 

"Actually I remember something about you loving me." 

Brian laughed. "Hmmm. Must have missed that part cause I don't remember that." Brian was smiling now and it showed in his tone of voice. 

"Course you don't." Justin ran a hand through his hair and listened to Brian's breathing. Brian had this funny little wheeze that showed up when he'd been exercising or fucking or laughing or sleeping and Justin couldn't get enough of it. "What time am I gonna see you tomorrow?" 

"Around six." 

"You gonna call me again before then?" 

"Don't know." Brian's intercom light was flashing. "Gotta go." 

Justin opened his mouth to answer but Brian's end of the line had already gone dead. He'd have more than twenty-four hours to relive his memories of Brian on his own. 

 

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Jennifer sat back in her seat and toyed with her car keys. She eyed the house beside her and looked up towards what was now Justin's room. She didn't quite know what to think of this new piece of information. She understood Justin's reservations about Craig paying the tuition but that didn't cool any of the worries that she had where Brian was concerned. Based on what she'd heard and seen of this man, she didn't know what to make of his motives. He'd managed to occupy so much of Justin's focus and Justin had altered so much of his life in response to Brian's presence. Jennifer knew for a fact that Justin loved him and even though she'd heard Brian's words at that loft on Friday, she couldn't take what he'd said at face value. 

Why would this man agree to make this kind of contribution to Justin's life? 

 

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Justin listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before replacing the receiver. He thought about calling Daphne and he decided to put that off until later. He hadn't talked to her in days and he didn't feel like rehashing all the events in order to give her an update. He let his fingers slip off the phone as he turned on to his side. He could hear Debbie and Vic talking downstairs and he could tell they were still talking about Brian. Justin thought back to his mother again and he immediately pushed all these thoughts aside. He didn't want to think about problems right now. If he could have his way he'd happily be back at the loft again helping Brian to pretend that they didn't have a care in the world. 

Justin was reliving their Saturday afternoon again as he closed his eyes and ears on the house around him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Aaaaaaah." Justin leaned back against the pillows as Brian closed his lips around his length again. Brian was running his hands up and down Justin's sides as he licked at him and now he moved his hands to Justin's hips to still his writhing. They'd been playing slowly for the last hour and Justin was straining for him to move it along. 

Brian relaxed his throat and took Justin deeper inside as Justin continued to thread his fingers through his hair. Gus was asleep in the living room and Brian figured he'd stay that way for at least another hour. He and Justin had some time to play and Brian intended to make use of every second. He reached down to push Justin's legs apart even further and he licked over skin below Justin's cock. The other man hissed and Brian did it again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Justin." Vic was knocking at the door and Justin slowly opened his eyes on reality again. 

"You can come in." Justin sat up on the bed and moved a shirt on to his lap to cover his budding erection. 

"I looked out the window and noticed that your mom was still parked outside." Vic gestured towards the window to offer Justin the chance to see for himself. "I'm guessing she's still got more to say to you so why don't you go talk to her?" 

Justin got up from the bed and brought the shirt along with him to the window. His mother's car was still parked at the curb but from this angle Justin couldn't quite see her. If she was just sitting out there then Justin could hazard an easy guess that she'd either be crying or steaming over what she could do to 'fix' the situation. "Thanks. I'll go down in a minute." He didn't bother to look back over his shoulder as Vic slipped out of the room. 

 

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Brian parked the Jeep and fed the meter before turning to cross the thin evening traffic to the other side of the road. The reservations had been made in Forsythe's name and Brian waited as the host located the name on the list and showed him to the table. 

"Brian." Cliff Forsythe stood to greet him and the other four men stood up as well. "I've got some people here who've been looking forward to meeting you." Forsythe started with the man on his right and made the introductions. By the time he was done Brian had faces to attach to the biographical information he'd spent the afternoon reviewing. All of them self-made millionaires, these men were friends of Cliff Forsythe's and from Brian's evaluation they unlike their friend, were straight arrows. 

Drinks and dinner were ordered and the discussion progressed from Brian's work on Forsythe's campaign, to politics, the economy and then to wives and divorces and family. Brian accepted a cigarette that was offered by one of the other men and lit up while he listened to Cliff Forsythe recount the tale of his twin daughters' first ballet recitals. To all appearances and by his own accounts, the man was the epitome of the little guy who'd made it big through hard work and innovation and he'd managed to secure that image with the perfect picture of the wife, the dog and the two point five children. 

Brian took a deep drag of his cigarette and smiled to himself as he waited for his turn to tell a wholesome family story. 

"So Brian. All except Cliff, we're all telling stories about the ones that got away and what they took with them when they left. How about you?" The man wore a good-natured smile. He'd spent the last five minutes updating the group on his latest divorce settlement and the benefits of holding assets in multiple company names so as to avoid crafty divorce lawyers. 

"Brian's not married. No Kids. Play the field when you're young. You know the game." Forsythe piped up over top of his glass of vodka. He eyed Brian quickly. It was obvious that Forsythe's friends had missed some of the reports that had made Brian somewhat notorious in the last few months. It was also quite obvious that Clifford Forsythe had made an error in his assumptions about Brian's life. 

"That's the way to do it. Skip the wife, skip the kids and go straight to the mistresses." This comment from another of the men earned a rousing peal of laughter from the rest of the group, including Forsythe. 

Their waiter brought their orders just then and Brian settled down to his red meat and potatoes. There were so many other things that he would rather be doing and eating instead. 

One other thing in particular. 

 

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Justin tapped on the window and waited for his mother to turn around. She jumped a little when she saw the face in the dim light but popped the lock as soon as she recognized who it was. 

He got into the passenger side. "How come you're still here?" 

Jennifer shrugged her shoulders and wiped at her eyes. She turned to face the street in front of her again before speaking. "Do you believe him?" 

"What do you mean?" Justin had been looking at her profile since he got into the car. 

"I mean...I know how you feel about him but do you really believe what you say about the way he feels about you? Do you believe what he says?" She didn't turn to look at him as she spoke. 

"Brian doesn't lie Mom. He'd rather just not say anything at all instead of lying. So when he tells me with words how he feels then I can't help but believe him." Justin spoke quietly in the close space. 

"You accepting this kind of money from him, it isn't right. Even if you want to think that it's just altruism on his part..." 

"What else would it be besides altruism Mom?" Justin thought he was seeing a glimpse of his mother's real reservations about the idea. 

She turned to face him and answered quickly. "It could be guilt. Guilt that you choose to see as something else. Guilt that you've managed to talk yourself into believing is something that it's not." She watched as Justin dropped his eyes and looked away. At the time that Brian had last made the offer Justin was one hundred percent sure that the man's motives were entirely based in guilt. 

"It's not like that Mom. At least not any more." 

"What do you mean 'not any more'?" Jennifer turned in her seat so that she could face him full on. 

"He offered this a long time ago. First after when I found out you guys were getting divorced and then after I got out of the hospital and things with Dad were starting to look really bad. I was worried about paying for school and I thought he just wanted to make it one less thing that I'd have to worry about." 

"Justin this is exactly what I was concerned about." 

"I said it's not like that anymore. I told him no the first time and I thought about it really hard the second time. Brian does things for the people he cares about. He tries to help in any way that he can. Giving money is just one of those ways." 

"Even if he's not feeling guilty about what has happened this is only his way of tying you to himself. Justin you can't take money like this from Brian. It's not right." The woman was pleading with him now. 

"Why, because I'm sleeping with him? Does it make the situation that extra bit more lurid if I take help from him?" 

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it. This is too big an obligation for you to take on where Brian's concerned. How long is Brian going to be in your life? You don't know that. How can you set yourself up to be obligated to him years and years in the future. He has no ties to you but you've altered your entire life so that it rests on ties that connect you to him. You live with Debbie and you work at the diner. That keeps you right under his nose. You're staying in the state for school and now you're taking money from him. Everything that happens in your life is so tied up with Brian that I don't see much that isn't connected to him where you're concerned." 

"Where I live isn't Brian's fault. Where I work is my choice. Where I go to school is me following my dreams. Brian giving me money to do it is Brian loving me. Please stop trying to see only negative in all this." Justin turned to face her again. "You asked me whether or not I believe him and I told you that I do. I have no idea what's gonna to happen with Brian tomorrow or the next day. I can't predict that. All I know is that today he loves me and I love him. He's offered me some help and I need it because I won't take Dad's money. Brian doesn't want anything in return and he's not trying to make me feel obligated to him. Please try and understand that Mom." 

Jennifer looked at his eyes carefully. "Sweetheart..." 

"Please trust me. I told you before that I had my eyes open." 

 

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Brian straightened his tie and ran a hand through his hair as he eyed his reflection. He'd swapped the brown shirt and tie he'd been wearing at the office for deep blues instead and now he adjusted his cuffs and got ready to rejoin his dinner company. He'd been studying himself in the mirror when the other man came into the room. 

Brian eyed him in the mirror for a few minutes and tracked the man's movements across the room to the urinals. The guy was trying to make a show of it while he concentrated on pretending not to notice Brian's interest. Brian turned to lean on the counter and unabashedly watched the other man. He took in the dark hair and the dark eyes and he watched as the guy kept turning around to look at him every few seconds. Brian didn't think the man looked particularly uncomfortable with having an audience and he smiled as the guy turned and presented him with evidence of the effect Brian's attention had had on him. Brian smelled a fuck. 

The door opened behind them just then and the guy turned to face the urinals again. 

Forsythe had caught the man's quick movements and he eyed Brian's relaxed posture. "Didn't mean to interrupt the show." 

"No. You actually wouldn't mind if you could take a seat beside me. Right?" Brian teased the older man as the guy at the urinal zipped up uncomfortably and moved towards the sinks. He kept up his quick looks at Brian and eyed Forsythe suspiciously while he did it. 

"Well some of us are of a more discerning taste Brian. I know exactly what kind of show I'm looking for." Forsythe ignored Brian's sneer and watched him turn away to exchange looks with the other man again. 

"Do you have a card?" Brian crossed the room and addressed his question to an obviously very willing new playmate. Brian watched as the man fished through his breast pocket and then he reached in to retrieve the pen that he could see hiding in the man's pocket as well. Brian threw a look over his shoulder at Forsythe before turning to look at the dark eyes in front of him again. "I'm just gonna give him my number." Brian licked his lips and rolled them into his mouth as he wrote out his number and handed the card back. 

Forsythe watched as Brian leaned in to say something to the other man that he obviously wasn't meant to be privy to. He watched as Brian smiled slowly, reached between the man's legs and kissed him before turning back to walk towards the doorway. 

"Now you've taken to following me into washrooms." Forsythe was behind him now and Brian stopped to let him catch up as they walked across the lobby of the restaurant. Brian was ready to turn the tables on this man and he dared him to make just one more pass. 

"I saw him slip out of the room after you and I thought there might be a show. I go where the action is." The man was smiling and Brian turned to eye his profile. 

"You want action, huh?" Brian furrowed his brows as a devilish looking smile started to spread across his lips. Forsythe didn't notice the smile as Brian moved towards the men that still sat laughing and drinking at the table. "What say we see what your dinner company thinks of your more non-professional interest in me?" Brian shot a look over his shoulder at the man. He retook his seat at the table and signaled for a refill of his drink. Forsythe sat down next to him and threw him a suspicious look. 

The other men were talking about pussy again and Forsythe took the opportunity to slip in close to Brian's ear to ask his question. "What are you talking about?" 

"You've seen first hand that I'm not shy about playing in the middle of a restaurant. You wanted to play Cliff. I say this is as good a time as any." Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and turned his face to breathe against the man's cheek. Forsythe swallowed hard as he realized he'd only have to lean in an inch or two to reach the younger man's lips. Brian started to smile again as he heard the sound from the man's throat. Their faces had been much too close to each other for far too long for this situation to look casual and Forsythe realized it as he pulled back quickly and looked around to see whether the others had noticed. 

Brian took note of Forsythe's uneasiness now that others could possibly observe their contact and he licked his lips again as he leaned back in his chair. He was fully prepared to put on quite the spectacle for Forsythe's colleagues and he watched to see just what the older man would do with this new variable in their game. 

Forsythe swallowed hard again and pulled his eyes away from Brian's face. 

"Brian." One of the men turned to clap Brian on the back once he'd noticed him at the table. "Steve is telling us about the nightlife in L.A., since you were there recently tell me, did you manage to get to Club..." The man turned to the others to get confirmation of the name of the club before finishing. "...Club Zanzibar?" The man set his hands in front of his chest in what Brian assumed was an illustration of sizable breasts. 

"No. I guess I missed that one but Cliff did promise to be my tour guide when I was in L.A. again. Maybe we'll hit that one next time." Brian turned to look at Forsythe. 

"Cliff? No way." One of the other men scoffed at the idea. 

"He's our good example and Celeste would never let him live that down." The man sitting next to Forsythe teased as he slipped an arm around his shoulders. 

"Yeah she'd take you to the cleaners Cliff." Another of the men piped up to finish the comment. 

"Didn't Celeste introduce my second wife to her divorce lawyer." The first man spoke up again and the entire group was thrown into another burst of laughter, everyone except Clifford Forsythe. 

Brian took in the look on the man's face and soaked up all the information that he could about Forsythe's status as the dedicated and devoted family man. Along with his image, it would seem that this man had a lot to lose after all. 

 

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Brian pulled off as the light changed and traffic started to move again. He thought back to the way he'd left things at the restaurant and he smiled. He'd made some great connections that he could turn into solid accounts and he didn't think he'd look quite so tasty to Cliff Forsythe any more. His cell phone was ringing and he reached into his breast pocket to get it. 

"Yeah." Brian pulled out from behind a sedan full of women and ignored the looks they were giving him as he passed on the passenger side. 

"Hey, it's me. Where are you?" 

"In the car. Where are you?" Brian held the phone between his ear and shoulder as he lit a cigarette. 

"I'm heading over to Woody's. Are you gonna come?" Michael was stuffing his shirt into the waistband of his pants as he balanced the phone at his ear. 

"Are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum gonna be there?" Brian released a breath of smoke as he listened for Michael's response. 

"Ted and Emmett are already there." Michael both confirmed and ignored the insult. 

"Then no. I'm not in the mood for them tonight." Brian turned off on to his street and pulled up in front of the building. 

"So then what are you doing? Oh wait, don't tell me." Michael expected an update of Brian's plans for the evening to include the company of a certain Twink. 

"I'm home now. I plan on taking a shower and then who knows." Brian flicked his ashes out the window as he pulled his briefcase from the backseat. 

"Alone?" 

"Alone." 

"Justin's not coming?" Michael stopped in mid-movement and listened. 

"No Mikey. He's not." Brian drawled his answer as he stepped out of the Jeep. 

"What did the Boy Wonder do now?" Michael was smiling a little. 

Brian didn't say anything. He'd never joined in Michael's ribbing of Justin's age and there were a million different reasons why he didn't talk about Justin with Michael. 

Michael listened to the non-answer and then spoke up again. "You want company? Are you hungry?" 

"No food but come if you want." Michael and Justin were the only two people who had ever received an actual invitation to visit the loft. 

"I'll come over...I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?" Michael stepped into one of his shoes and hopped over to the other one. 

"Let yourself in." Brian punched the keys for the security code and pulled the front door open. He listened to the door closing behind him as he dropped the phone back into his breast pocket. He'd crossed the lobby to the mail slots before climbing the stairs. He planned to soak in the shower for at least half an hour and then cuddle up with his favorite bottle of rye. 

 

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin closed his legs around Brian's head trapping the man's face against his balls. Brian pulled back and swatted his thigh in protest. "If you suffocate me how are you gonna explain to your mother what happened?" 

Justin opened his eyes to the sting of pain against his leg and he offered Brian a drowsy apology along with an invitation to finish what he was doing. 

Brian watched as the muscles in Justin's thighs relaxed again and he looked back at the moisture that was collecting at the tip of Justin's dick. Justin was reaching up towards his face now and Brian let himself be pulled back into place. 

"If you don't finish this now then Gus is gonna wake up and I'm gonna go jerk off in the bathroom and leave you to balance a baby and a hard on without any help." Justin looked drugged but he spoke his words clearly. 

"Hmmm. That sounds like a threat?" Brian felt Justin pushing his hand away from his cock and he watched as Justin took over and stroked himself. Obviously Justin thought he could do this without any assistance. "Stop." Brian knocked Justin's hand away. "This is mine so keep your hands to yourself." He pushed Justin's thighs open again and reached under him to spread his cheeks. 

Justin had pulled his knees up and he was smiling now. Brian could be very predictable. 

"Don't suck it. Just fuck me." Justin reached above his shoulder to grab a condom and he dropped it on to Brian's outstretched palm. "If you start now we might actually have a chance of finishing before Gus wakes up." 

"I'm not interested in a quickie Justin." Brian dropped the condom into the sheets beside them as he rubbed over the contractions between Justin's cheeks. He moved his lips across Justin's hole and the other man groaned either his approval or disapproval of Brian's actions. 

Justin had been pushing back against his tongue and Brian stiffened it and pushed through the tight ring of muscle. He'd watched through the glass as Justin washed himself and now Brian intended on making use of that little exercise in cleanliness. 

"Put it back in." Justin sighed as Brian pulled his face, and consequently his tongue, away from his ass. 

Brian was admiring his handiwork. Justin was spasming wildly and Brian watched as his sphincter slowly closed in on itself again. He watched the muscles tighten and he waited until the very last moment before he slipped a finger into place. 

"Aaaaaaaah...Oh God..." Justin held on to the back of his knees as he bucked up into Brian's movements inside him. 

Brian pushed all the way in before slowly pulling out again and repeating his movements. Justin moaned and closed his eyes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Brian...Where are you?" Michael called out as he took a look around the loft. He could hear the water running in the bathroom but he figured he would give his friend fair warning that he'd arrived. 

Brian pushed one palm against the tiled wall of the shower enclosure to hold himself up as he continued to pump his dick in his fist. His knuckles had gone white with the pressure and he didn't hear when Michael called out. All he could see was Justin laid out in front of him and all he could hear was the sound of his own blood in his ears and the water rushing around his head. 

Brian let his eyes slip closed and he let his head hang back as he moved closer and closer to orgasm. He could feel the hot water beating down on his face and he could feel his balls tightening with each stroke. He dropped his head forward to lean against the wall with his entire body. Both hands now free, Brian continued to fist his cock while he stroked at his balls with the other hand. He was close and he let a low groan escape his lips. He'd turned around to lean his back against the wall and he looked down at his now reddened cock through the steam. He didn't hear Michael walking across the bedroom and he didn't see him as he leaned in the doorway. 

Michael had been about to call out again as he walked by the doorway to the bathroom. Brian was obviously taking a shower and Michael thought to make sure that Brian knew he was there and then go get himself a drink. Michael froze when he heard the pleasure in his friend's low moan and he realized what Brian was doing. 

Michael looked up in that second and was treated to a side of Brian that he'd seen only once before. Sure Michael had seen Brian naked at least a zillion times when they were kids or at the gym and he'd even walked in on the man doing something very similar only months before, but he'd never seen Brian this close to cumming. Within another second or two Michael found that he had to revise his thought. Brian wasn't close to cumming any more. The thick white streams on the glass and the throaty moans were evidence that it was happening right before Michael's eyes. 

Brian jerked his cock from base to tip one more time as his orgasm continued to curl his toes. He took a deep breath and relaxed his muscles. He laughed a little as he thought about how powerfully he'd just come and he fought to straighten out the fingers of his right hand. He'd closed his eyes during his orgasm and now he opened them again to take in the streams of cum that were running down the glass and being carried away towards the drain. Brian rolled his shoulders slightly as he stood up from the wall and looked across the room to the doorway. Michael had managed to move his feet out of the spot they'd been rooted to and Brian turned back to face the spray. Brian would never know about the performance he'd just treated his best friend to. 

 

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"I need you to say that you'll stand by me Mom." Justin leaned a little further back into his seat and looked at the road as the streetlights started to come on. 

"I will always stand by you Sweetheart. You know that. I worry about you and you know that too. I just want you to be happy Justin. That's all that I've ever wanted for you." 

"I know. When I'm with Brian I'm happy, except for when he's driving me crazy that is, but you know what I mean." Justin looked over at his mother. She hadn't taken her eyes off him in the last several minutes. 

"Promise me something." She waited for Justin to steady his eyes on her face. "Promise me that you'll tell me what's going on and that you'll let me help you and that you'll look out for yourself." 

"If I say yes, are we okay?" 

"Justin, we couldn't ever not be okay. I won't stop worrying about this or about Brian and your father. I'm gonna take Brian by his actions, not his words but I'm your mother first and foremost and I will always stand by you." She reached over to stroke at his cheek. "I understand why you can't take money from your father right now but you can take money from me." Justin started to protest and she dismissed him. "I don't mind if Brian wants to help but that's all Justin. He can help but I don't want him feeling like he has to pay for everything and I don't want you feeling obligated to him for your education." He'd opened his mouth to offer another challenge and she silenced him with a finger. "Let me do this much Justin. Please." 

 

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"Mikey." Brian crossed the bedroom with a towel firmly fixed around his waist. Michael had waited quietly for the shower to turn off before opening and closing the door to the loft again. He wanted to make sure that Brian wouldn't suspect that he'd had an audience. 

"I'm here." Michael tossed his jacket across the chair closest to the door and took note of the little reddish stain on the side of the chair. "Did you see this?" He pointed to the stain as Brian approached. 

"Yeah, a present from Sonny Boy on the weekend. You want something to drink?" Brian moved passed him to the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator. 

"You got beer?" Michael had been eyeing the bruising on Brian's side. It was worse than he'd thought it would be. 

"You're asking me whether or not I have liquor?" Brian tossed a bottle across the counter and Michael deftly caught it. Brian poured himself a drink and walked back towards the living area. "Get comfortable. Let me get dressed." He set his glass down on the table and moved away towards the bedroom again. 

Michael could see his blurry form moving behind the glass dividers as he crossed to sit down on the sofa. "So how come you're back so late?" 

"Dinner meeting. I got some new clients today." Brian called out from the bedroom as he pulled on his underwear and stepped into his jeans. 

"Did it go okay?" Michael was making small talk as he glanced over his shoulder to chart Brian's progress. 

"I didn't fuck anybody if that's what you're asking." He caught Michael's eyes and grinned as he walked back out into the living area and sat down across from the other man. 

"Maybe not at the restaurant..." Michael knew him all too well. "...but I'm sure you made some arrangements for later." He dropped his eyes to Brian's bruised chest again. 

Brian just smiled before finally speaking. "Fuck off." He'd reached out to take a sip of his drink as Michael continued to laugh. 

"You know that your little stunt at the Big Q on the weekend earned me some suspicious looks for the rest of the day." 

"That's all in your head Mikey but like I told you, happy hiding." Brian dismissed the comment and took another sip from his glass. 

"It's not just in my head. Marly couldn't get enough of asking me who you were." Michael took in the puzzled look on Brian's face before offering some clarification as to who 'Marly' was. "She's that woman who tried to set me up with Tracey...I told you about her coming into work with that gross hickey." Brian still looked puzzled and Michael shook his head to dismiss his own words. "Never mind...you weren't at her cash register so you probably didn't see her. So what else is going on with you?" 

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and shrugged. He huffed a little laugh as he remembered one of the many low points of his day. "Claire called me at work today." 

"Claire? I thought she hadn't talked to you since the funeral. Called you a piece of shit and all that." Michael waited for Brian's explanation. 

"She came here on the weekend too. She saw Gus. She was here when I came back from seeing you." Brian sat back in his chair. 

"Shit. She was waiting for you?" Michael studied his friend over the top of his beer bottle. 

"She wants to talk. Like that's fucking gonna happen." Brian got up from his chair and crossed the space to flip on his computer. Michael had known him long enough to know that Brian was only mentioning Claire because he wanted to hear what someone else thought about it. This fact didn't mean that Brian would ask outright for advice and it didn't mean that he would sit still to listen to it. 

"Why does she want to see you?" 

"Claire wants to cry and she wants someone to watch." Brian wasn't the only Kinney that took pleasure in having an audience. 

"She wants to talk about your folks?" 

"What else?" 

"What'd you tell her?" Michael noticed Brian looking at him from under his lashes and he smiled a little before he answered his own question. "You told her to fuck off." 

"Claire's a cunt. What did you think I was gonna tell her?" Brian sat down at his desk and began scrolling through his messages. He was rummaging for something in his desk drawer and Michael watched him pull out a packet of cigarettes and light one. 

Michael shrugged his shoulders. "You could see her like she wants. I know...I know. Fuck off. But it might do you some good to talk about..." Michael stopped short with his next few words; he'd caught Brian's look. He got up from his chair to dump his empty bottle in the kitchen. "So what else happened with you this weekend?" 

"Nothing. It was quiet." Brian deleted six messages from would be admirers before turning back to look at Michael. Too much of his weekend was tied up with Justin so that meant that Michael would only be treated to minimal amounts of detail. 

Brian been favoring his side as he got up again and Michael thought it a good opportunity to ask the question that had been on his mind. "How's your side?" 

"Bruised." Brian crossed the room and dropped his glass in the sink. "That piece of shit has tried to break my fucking ribs twice." 

Michael watched him for a little while and toyed with the idea of asking about Justin. He decided against it. "You haven't heard anything about cops or any charges?" 

"He'd be a fool to press it." Brian walked around the back of the sofa and smacked Michael across the back of his head. "See if there's anything good on. I'll be right back." 

Michael turned to watch him disappear into the bathroom. His thoughts flashed on what he'd walked in on earlier and he quickly dismissed them as he turned again to pick up the remote from Brian's desk. Something in the drawer caught his eye and Michael reached in to pick up the little stack of photographs. There were a few shots from Gus' birthday party and one shot that Michael recognized from Vic's party earlier in the year. In the picture Brian was standing behind Justin with his arms draped around his shoulders and his face pressed up against Justin's cheek. Michael dropped the picture back into place as he heard Brian moving in the bathroom behind him. He'd been pulling a tape out of the VCR when Brian came back into the room a few minutes later. 

"What's on this?" Michael eyed the date that had been written on the label. 

Brian smirked a little and took the tape out of Michael's hand. "I'll tell you when you're older. Aren't you supposed to be looking for something on T.V.?" 

"There's nothing on so I was gonna pop in a movie instead." Michael eyed the tape in Brian's hand again. "Trust me I have no interest in watching you auditioning partners for your special brand of entertainment." 

"Course you don't Mikey. That's the last thing you'd wanna see." Brian had teased out his words before he realized the implication of what he'd said. He watched Michael's eyes darken. 

Michael looked down and then laughed a little. "Yeah, whatever." He'd tossed off Brian's comment without thinking about them too much and he noticed the relief that passed over Brian's face. They'd danced around the prospect for years and as far as Michael was concerned, they could dance around it for a few more years. They'd try to forget what had happened and go back to the friendly teasing and the insults. Michael for one would go back to pretending that none of what Brian said or nothing in the way Brian touched him was intentional. 

 

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~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin settled back against the sheets and opened his eyes. He watched as Brian kissed over his stomach and he noticed the look in Brian's eyes. They'd been taking this very slowly but Brian wasn't going to play with him or tease him anymore. 

"Turn over." Brian spoke his words against Justin's skin before pulling back to look at him. He was watching as Justin let go of his legs and rolled over on to his side. Brian hadn't taken his eyes off Justin's back or his ass the entire time that Justin was adjusting his position in front of him. 

"You gonna stare at it or fuck it?" Justin was looking at Brian over his shoulder as he handed him the condom he'd refused earlier. This time he watched as Brian accepted it and ripped it open. 

He'd slicked himself and slipped inside Justin within seconds and now his breath was catching in his throat as Justin tightened up around him. They'd been fucking for a year now but this was the part Brian had never gotten bored of and he'd never managed to duplicate with any other partner. This was the rhythmic crushing that Justin treated him to in the first few minutes after he'd slipped inside. Brian knew it was just Justin trying to stay relaxed and pace himself but it had always felt like a little massage right down to the base of his cock as Justin fought to adjust to his size and length. 

Brian dropped a hand to Justin's shoulder and one to his hip as he pulled out leaving just the tip of his cock still inside the other man. He was waiting for what he somehow knew that Justin would do next. Brian watched as Justin took a deep breath and pushed all the way back into his cock. It was Brian and not Justin who cried out from the force of the thrust and Brian dropped his face to Justin's back to catch his breath. 

Justin was panting into the pillow now and he worked his hips in a circle to make Brian move. The man lifted some of his weight off Justin's back and flattened his palms on either side of Justin's body. They'd been working up to this for the last hour and a half and Brian was sure that neither of them would last very long. 

Justin reached down between his legs and touched himself before rubbing over Brian's balls and cupping them in his hand. Brian slammed into him again and Justin squeezed involuntarily. 

"Aaaaaaaaah...Justin." Brian wasn't calling out in pain. He was on the edge now and the sensations from Justin rubbing him weren't doing anything to help him to hold back the tightening that he could already feel creeping across his lower back and balls. 

Justin took another deep breath and pushed back into Brian's length again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Justin turned on to his back and looked at the phone. It was after eleven and he thought about calling Brian. He was hard and he and Brian hadn't had phone sex in a while. He reached for the phone and it immediately started ringing in his hand. That was the second time this had happened for the day and Justin hoped history would repeat itself again and Brian would be the person on the other end of the line. 

"Hello." Justin's voice sounded a little raspy and he cleared his throat to repeat his word again. 

"Hey it's me." Bubbly and high-pitched wasn't the way that Brian sounded at any point in the day, let alone close to midnight. 

"Hey Daph. What's up?" Justin dropped back against the pillows again and listened for the sounds of anyone else stirring in the house. 

"I wanted my update on all that's been going on. I called the loft first hoping to catch you guys all hot and breathy and Brian said you were home." 

"You called Brian? He was there? What'd he say?" Justin was instantly alert. 

"Hey, one question at a time. I thought you might have been over there since you couldn't stop talking about how good he was to you when he found out about your dad. Anyway, he said you were home." 

"Do you know if he was alone?" 

"I don't know. I could hear the T.V. on in the background so he was probably just watching the Late Show or something." Daphne took note of the smudge on her toenail polish. She'd had to rush the drying process earlier and she'd scuffed her polish at some point. 

"Brian hates Jay Leno and he hardly watches T.V." Justin dismissed her conclusions. 

"Sorry Sherlock but I really wasn't listening for clues. Why don't you just call him and talk to him?" 

"For your information I was about to do just that when you called." 

"A little bedtime story or some bed time entertainment no doubt." Daphne teased. "Before you do that I want you to tell me what's going on. I walked passed your house today and your sister was on the driveway riding her bike. She said something about your father hitting you and then the sitter called her back inside." 

"That's a fucking long story Daph." Justin reached up to touch the cut above his eyebrow. 

"Well, the sooner you get started the sooner you get to call Brian and say goodnight." 

"At this rate I'm not gonna get to talk to him tonight." Justin didn't feel like reliving the events of the last week. 

"I think you'll live Justin. Now tell me what's going on." 

 

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Michael had come and gone and Brian flipped off the television and the lights before climbing the steps back to his bedroom. He thought about calling Justin and decided against it. It wouldn't serve his cause to let Justin know that he'd come home and jerked off thinking about him and it wouldn't help him for Justin to come to expect midnight calls just to say goodnight. 

Brian leaned back against the pillows and turned his face towards the scent that still lingered there. He thought back to the weekend and he was glad that he hadn't changed the sheets since then. He could smell Justin in the sheets and he could smell him even more clearly on the pillows. Brian closed his eyes and thought about the last time Justin had been laying in the spot where he was lying now. His thoughts traveled back to watching Justin looking up at him while they fucked and watching Justin's hands closing around the edges of the pillows as he came. Brian sifted through his memories of the weekend before selecting what he thought was the best one of all. 

He closed his eyes and thought back to their Sunday morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Justin pushed his face under the pillow to block out the light that had slowly crept across the room and thrown bright shards across his face. He could hear Brian's voice somewhere behind him and Brian was whispering. He was talking to someone and he was trying to keep his voice down. He didn't seem to want Justin to hear him and the sleepy man intended to help him out. Justin pulled two other pillows over his head and snuggled down into the sheets. That would definitely block out the light and now it would drown out the sounds in the loft as well. 

The seconds turned into minutes in Justin's mind and then those minutes might as well have been hours because Justin felt comfortable and warm and safe. He was falling asleep again and he could feel the weight of the sheets and pillows on his body. He was living that point in the morning when all the sheets were just the right temperature, the pillows and mattress were molded perfectly and the prospect of having to get out of bed sounded like the most cruel and unusual form of punishment imaginable. There was something about Brian's bed that made this room in the structurally cool and precisely styled loft, the warmest and most homey feeling place Justin could think of sometimes. 

He closed a hand around a fold in the sheets and snuggled in even further. It was Sunday morning and Brian was up but he'd sleep just a little bit longer. 

"Justin." Brian stood by the side of the bed and looked down at the slow rising and falling of the pile on the bed. If someone wasn't quite paying attention they could just as easily have tossed the entire mass of crumpled sheets into a laundry hamper and tossed Justin in as well. He seemed to have this knack for making himself one with his surroundings in any situation but Brian thought that on so many levels Justin had perfected his craft best when it came to being in bed. 

"Justin." He knelt down at the side of the bed and put a hand where Justin's back should have been. Brian could either do this gently or do this with a flair for the cruel. He thought about letting Justin wake up naturally or just unceremoniously grabbing an edge of the sheet and yanking Justin off the bed and on to the floor. Brian lifted an edge of the sheet and found Justin's relaxed hand sleeping under it. Brian watched as Justin spread his fingers slightly before slowly closing his fist around the fabric again. It was something Brian had seen Gus do in his sleep at least a thousand times already. That did it. Not even he was cruel enough to yank Justin out of bed under these circumstances. 

"Justin. Get up." Brian spoke his words quietly and then waited. 

The mound of bedding grunted unattractively and then stilled again. 

"Justin. You said you'd help with Gus so get up." 

Brian thought Justin might actually have told him to fuck off but the layers of sheets muffled the words. He wasn't sure if he was just projecting seeing as though that would have been his exact choice of words had Justin been trying to wake him up. 

"Justin." Brian closed his own hand over the previously sleeping one under the sheets. Justin was waking up now and he'd flattened his palm so that he could push himself up as he turned over. He'd been trying to turn away from the disturbance on the right side of the bed that wore Brian's cologne and Brian's voice. "Justin get up." 

"I can't." The voice was muffled but Brian heard what he'd said. 

"Why can't you?" 

"Because I died." Justin's voice trailed off and Brian figured he was still asleep. 

"You did what?" He squeezed Justin's hand and Justin squeezed back slightly. 

"I died." Justin was awake now and he was digging with his free hand to find an air hole to the surface of the covers. 

"What killed you?" Brian huffed a little laugh and the corners of his lips turned up slightly. He could see Justin's fingers working to free his face from under the pillows and now Justin's nose and mouth alone had come into view. 

"You." Justin was smiling. "You fucked me to death just like you promised." Justin was grinning as he pushed the last of the pillows off his head. His eyes were still closed and he was grinning widely. "You fucked me to death and..." Justin opened his eyes and found Brian's face. 

Brian had rolled his lips into his mouth and he loosened them again after he'd taken a breath. He'd had to take a moment to soak in all that he was seeing before him. Justin's skin was flushed and his lips were swollen and red. He had sleep lines all across his cheeks and his eyes were blue and sharp. The redness in his skin and the fact that Justin had crap in the corners of his eyes only served to accentuate the fact that he was still very much alive. A living, breathing, annoying, witty, headstrong, perverted, loyal, passionate, intense, kind, intelligent human being. 

"I fucked you to death and..." Brian repeated Justin's last sentence and waited. 

"...And I died a happy man." Justin tempered his grin to match the slow smile that was forming on Brian's face. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Brian closed a hand around Justin's pillow as he fell asleep. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Claire Kinney again. She's on line one. I told her that you were busy and she begged me to at least tell you that she was on the line." Cynthia poked her head around the doorframe and waited for Brian to tear into her. 

"You've told me so now you can go back and hang up on her." Brian had barely lifted his head from his work but he watched as Cynthia stepped back from the doorway and walked right into Ryder. 

"Sorry." Cynthia stumbled out of the man's way and walked back to her desk. Ryder had barely acknowledged her apology as he stepped into the office. 

"Brian. How did your meeting with Forsythe go last night?" Ryder came in and took up his favorite position; towering over a seated Brian from the other side of the desk. 

"It went very well. I laid a lot of groundwork that we can follow up on. I already have some ideas for the new companies he's introduced us to." Brian leaned back in his chair and watched the man's face. 

"I'm asking because Cliff Forsythe called me earlier this morning and informed me that one of his senior executives would be taking over the approvals for the rest of the campaign. It seems he'll be overseeing a few other projects and won't be able to spend as much time on this as he thought he'd be able to." 

"What exactly did he say?" Brian was more than a little curious. 

"He said that he'd leave the rest of it in your capable hands." Ryder looked suspicious but Brian could see that the man didn't have very much to go on. "The woman you'll be working with is a Lydia something or other. I'll get the name and give it to your assistant." Ryder took a step back and walked towards the doorway. He turned to eye Brian and the pile of papers on the desk before pulling the door open. "I'll let you get back to work then." 

Brian watched him pull the door closed and walk down the hallway. He huffed a little laugh to himself as he reviewed the content of this brief conversation. Of course Ryder was suspicious but the fact that the situation had resulted in more praise for Brian and more business for the agency didn't give the man much room to voice his displeasure. Brian had turned his attention back to the papers on his desk just as Cynthia buzzed through to his line. 

"What?" 

"She says she's sure that you don't want her to keep this up but she really only needs a little of your time." Cynthia got ready for Brian to cut her off. 

Brian took a deep breath. "Book a lunch if I'm free today. Let's get this shit over with." He hung up. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Was that baby yours?" Claire was trying to make conversation and she asked her question as though she was afraid that Brian would leap across the table and bite her. 

Based on the look that Brian gave her she was right to worry. He didn't respond to her question. He just stopped looking at his menu and set it down on the table. She could see his jaw clenching and unclenching and eventually she simply looked away. 

"He looks like you. I could tell from the eyes." Claire spoke to no one in particular and then looked back down at her own menu. "I'd like to know him if I could. I mean he's family, right?" 

"Don't go anywhere near him. He has all the family he needs." Brian's tone was flat and his statement was precise. 

Claire was quiet for a little while as she took in the greater implications of his choice of words. "I suppose you have all the family that you need too." She looked up at Brian's face again and met his cold stare. "But I don't...I don't have that Brian. I thought I did but I realize now that I was just pretending. Do you know what I mean?" 

"No. I'm still trying to figure out why the fuck I agreed to come here." Brian took a bite of her already weakened disposition. 

Claire was obviously still very good at pretending; she did an excellent job of ignoring Brian's last comment before pressing on with her own thoughts. "It's like I remember the way things were for us growing up and then again I don't. I barely remember Daddy, I don't remember Mom but I remember you." She looked across the table again and watched Brian lean back into his chair with a barely disguised look of boredom. "I remember that Daddy got me a bicycle when I was six. That's the earliest memory that I have as a child. He put it on the driveway and held on as he pushed me down the incline." Claire's voice trailed off and she sort of zoned out for a little as if she was reliving the memory. "I remember that he did that over and over until I got it. I ran over his feet a couple of times and I think the chain on the bike ripped his pant leg but he kept it up until I could ride that bike on my own." She trailed off again as she studied the hands in her lap. 

Brian turned to signal to the waiter. 

"Are you ready to order Sir?" 

"Nothing to eat. Just let me have a Scotch neat. You want anything?" He'd dismissed her jaunt down memory lane. 

"Just some water please." Claire was crying again and she was hurrying to wipe the tears away before they could spill over on to her cheeks. 

The waiter moved away to fill the order and Claire grabbed for her napkin to wipe at her eyes. "You know you could try to have just a little bit more compassion." She'd switched into the familiar preaching that Brian had last heard at the funeral and he was on the verge of treating her to the expletive coated reply that he'd given her back then. "I just need you to listen to me Brian. Please can you just do that?" 

"I'm gonna have a drink Claire. I'll listen to you whine while I do that and then I'll leave as soon as I'm done." For the few who had never experienced Brian at his best/worse with his family, the scene of the crying woman and the rigid man would have appeared uncomfortably cold. 

Claire exercised her powers of pretense again and continued to speak after a little while. "I don't remember Mom at all when I was a little kid. I don't remember her until somewhere around when I was in junior high. Even then the only clear memory that I have of her is that she came with Daddy to the graduation. That can't be right Brian. There's gotta be something wrong with me cause that can't be all that there was to it." 

Brian huffed a little laugh before he spoke. "And here I thought you were going nuts. By my count of Jack and Joanie's spurts of parental devotion that actually sounds pretty accurate." Brian reached out to grab the drink as their waiter returned to the table. 

"I remember what he did to you. I remember what I helped to do." She dropped her eyes again. "You've got every reason to hate me Brian. That wasn't just sibling rivalry...that was..." Claire shook her head at the memories of her teen years. 

"...Survival. Divert the attention away from yourself and fly under the radar." Brian smiled bitterly and sipped at his drink. 

Claire choked a bit on her tears and took a gulp of water. Her hands were shaking and Brian watched as she barely managed to put the glass back on the table without spilling the contents. He didn't feel particularly sorry for her and he didn't feel any urge to ease her guilt. Claire was working her way up to making an apology and as far as Brian was concerned, sorry was bullshit. 

"Brian. We're not kids anymore and we don't live in that house anymore. I want to move past that and get on with my life. I've tried talking to Mom. She doesn't want any of it. She prefers her Bible and her bitter memories." 

"And you prefer your crying and your bitter memories." 

"We all deal with it the best we can Brian. I'm sure you've got your coping methods too." Claire looked up at him and then dropped her eyes again. She was afraid that she'd said too much. She hadn't wanted to make any kind of comment on Brian's personal life having discovered what little she knew from the evening news. "I'm not trying to say anything about your life or anything...that's not what I mean..." 

Brian narrowed his eyes and looked at her. "What the fuck is this really about?" 

"I'm trying to say that I'm sorry Brian. I'm sorry for the way I was. It's been years since and I realize that I don't know anything about you and that I never did...I'm trying to get some help dealing with my own stuff but like Dr. Flaherty says, I can't do that in a bubble." 

Brian thought about the name for a few seconds and then he realized why it sounded familiar. "This is your shrink's idea?" Brian sat back in his chair as he tried to make sense of what she was saying. 

"It was her suggestion. She thinks that if I can reconnect with a member of my family it would help me to face a lot of that stuff and get past it." Claire's voice trailed off weakly. She'd finally come to the point of admitting what exactly it was that she wanted from Brian. "I've been seeing her for a while and she thinks I'm as far as I'm gonna get on my own." Claire took in Brian's suspicious expression before dropping her eyes and pressing forward. "The next step is to have someone else sit in on my sessions. Challenge some of the ways that I remember things...turn a real spotlight on what happened and how I was a part of it..." She looked up at Brian again only after she'd finished. 

Brian choked out a bitter half-laugh. "You want me to fucking come to therapy with you? Is that it?" 

The woman dropped her eyes again. "It would just be a few sessions and it would really help me out. I'm thinking that it might help you too..." She was afraid that she'd said too much again and she watched as Brian swallowed the last of his drink. "You don't owe me any help Brian but I'm asking you to do this for me because even after everything that's happened I don't think you hate me. You've helped when I needed you to before and I'm hoping that I'm not asking for too much and that you'll help me again." 

Brian set his glass on the table and looked at it for a little while. "You're right Claire. You're asking for too much. I'm not coming on your trip down memory lane. You fix your problems your way and I'll fix mine my way." Brian raised his eyes to look at her as he pulled a few bills from his wallet to cover his drink and a sizable tip. He noticed that she was crying again and he thought he'd almost opened his mouth to say that he was sorry that he couldn't help. Brian took another look at her tear-streaked face and stood up. "Please don't call me again." 

He walked away and Claire couldn't bear to look up as she listened to his steps disappearing behind her. 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Brian what's wrong?" Justin asked his question again as he watched Brian pull off his tie and climb the steps to the bedroom. 

"I already told you nothing so if you can't shut up about it then I'll be happy to give you the taxi fare back over to Deb's." Brian snapped his comment over his shoulder and strode away towards the bathroom. 

Justin folded his arms and turned to look back at the front door again. Brian had called to tell him he'd be coming to get him early and the man had shown up even earlier than he'd said that he would. They'd ridden to the loft in silence after Justin had his repeated questions about what was going on shot down more and more forcefully each time. Something was obviously bothering Brian and Justin considered the fact that he was at the loft, instead of being blown off, to be evidence enough that Brian would tell him on his own terms. 

"I'm gonna order some food. Do you want anything special?" Justin leaned against the doorway and watched as Brian undressed in the bathroom. Brian shook his head no and turned to step into the shower. "Do you want some company?" Brian shook his head no again and Justin watched him awhile longer before turning away from the doorway. 

He went back out into the living room and grabbed the cordless phone from the desk. He'd been about to hit the speed dial to Brian's Thai place when he heard the man calling him from the bathroom. Justin dropped the phone on the couch and crossed the bedroom again. 

"Yeah." The room was steamy and he watched as Brian pushed the door to the shower stall open and looked at him through the mist. 

"Order after we shower." Brian stepped back under the spray again and tilted his head back under the water. 

Justin kicked off his running shoes and began to undress. He'd long since been used to helping Brian forget his troubles and this afternoon wasn't going to be any exception. He crossed the room slowly and stepped into the shower behind Brian before closing the door behind them. Justin carefully folded his arms around Brian's back and laced his fingers over the man's stomach. 

Brian had been washing his face under the spray and he stopped his movements to let Justin hold on to him. He could feel Justin's cheek on his back and he dropped his head forward to let the water run over his face again. His eyes were stinging a little from the force of the spray but Brian kept them open as he let the water wash away any evidence of his emotions. He reached down to cover Justin's hands with his own as they stood under the spray. 

"Tell me what you need." Justin whispered his words against Brian's skin. He prepared himself for any of the million refusals that Brian could give him and he chided himself for asking again before Brian was ready to talk. 

"You told me that you wished it was still Saturday. I need us to pretend it's still Saturday." Brian looked over his shoulder and met Justin's eyes. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian dropped his face against Justin's back and listened to the increasingly labored breathing and the deepening moans. Justin had pushed his face into the pillows as he balanced all the force of Brian's thrusts on his hands and arms. Brian pulled back to lick across Justin's skin and Justin hissed from the heat that was rising off the places where Brian's lips had just touched him. Their breathing had fallen into sync and their climax was building with each stroke and caress. 

Brian sat up on his knees and dropped his hands to Justin's hips. He watched the muscles in Justin's back contract and relax with each breath and each moan. He looked down at the place where they were joined and he watched as Justin met every stroke with his own force and his own need. Brian could feel that tightness building in his body and he wanted more than anything else to delay it for just a little while longer. He didn't want this moment or these feelings to ever end. 

He dropped his face to Justin's back again and moved up to close his lips over the skin on the back of Justin's neck. Brian let his lips brush back and forth over the skin in time with the movements of his strokes in and out of Justin's body. He felt Justin trembling beneath him and he moved one arm to fold it around Justin's chest. Justin was holding his breath now and Brian could feel when the first of the spasms started deep inside his body. He kissed across Justin's shoulders and the side of his face before kissing across his ear. 

"I wanna stay inside you forever." The words rushed out of Brian's throat and he meant them. 

"Brian....I want you to." Justin forced his own words passed the tightening in his body and he turned his head so that his lips could graze over Brian's cheek. He felt Brian's breath on his face and he felt Brian holding on to him. Brian was pulling him up to lean back against his chest and the new angle of their contact pushed Justin over the edge. He was still kneeling but now he was sitting on Brian's thighs as the man continued to move behind him. 

Brian had barely managed to close his arms around Justin's frame when Justin started shaking against him. Justin's mouth hung open and Brian tried his hardest to reach his lips for a kiss. Justin was too far gone to notice Brian's attempts and Brian closed his lips in the skin of Justin's throat instead. He'd outlasted the first wave of contractions that rippled through Justin's body and tortured his senses but all of Brian's resolve to make their contact last was lost as soon as he felt Justin's hands moving between their legs. Justin stroked over the base of Brian's cock and he touched the man's balls. He rubbed just the way that he knew Brian loved and he felt it when Brian dropped his forehead against the back of his neck and sank his teeth into the skin. 

Brian was cumming now and Justin reached up to lace his own fingers through Brian's fingers on his chest.


End file.
